Telling them apart

Remember the time that your frantic neighbour called in a fit of hysterics and beseeched you to rescue her drowning cat? Remember how you rushed home from that important dinner meeting and got a ticket for speeding along the way? And you must remember the laughter… Oh, that uncontrollable, side-splitting laughter… Some people can't tell a lie, others can't tell the truth and regrettably, you can't tell the difference.

Whether you're a member of the jury at a murder trial, a girl with a dubious boyfriend or a salesperson pitching your presentation, your capacity to quickly discern the truth greatly improves your situation. Fortunately, ability to sort fact from fiction is an important communication skill. It isn't something you're born with, it's something you learn.

Swindlers, pathological liars and some politicians have it easy. The rest of us are uncomfortable when telling a lie, and our discomfort filters through our body language. While you may sound convincing, your gestures speak louder than your words. Body language is a combination of movement, posture, and tone of voice. In due course, liars reveal their deceit. You simply have to wait for the many understated yet discernable clues to point you in the right direction.

Research shows that nonverbal interaction has greater bearing and dependability than the spoken word. Therefore, if a person's words contrast with their body language, it would be wiser to rely on their gestures rather than their word as a manifestation of their feelings. However, body language should be observed with care. While you are busy staring at your prospect for signs of treachery and insincerity, she may feel uncomfortable and start referring to you as "the creepy guy who stared too much".

A liar's physical expression will be restricted and rigid, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement will be limited to a smaller radius- a liar takes up less space! Look into my eyes, take in that charming, trusting smile. Note that innocent, hopeful expression. Now try lying to me. Even the politicians, who are as old as our buildings, will always try to avoid eye-contact. And now you know why.

A liar's hands will touch face, throat and mouth. They will often use fingers to block their mouth as if they were filtering their words. This gesture is commonly referred to as "speak no evil." Ever seen those nervous, twitchy fellows who shuffle their feet and pretend they have conjunctivitis? The second indication of insincerity "See no evil" happens when liars rub or touch their eye(s).

While unlikely to touch his chest or heart with an open hand, a liar will touch or scratch his nose and behind his ear. Commonly known as "Hear No Evil," this suggestion of dishonestly is possibly the most disgusting one, especially when liars drill their fingers into their ear as if to block the words they say.

A liar's timing and duration of emotional gestures will be off a natural tempo. The display of emotion is usually delayed, prolonged, then abruptly stops. Also, timing will be off between emotional expression and words. For example, if I say "I love it" after receiving a gift, then smile afterward, instead of smiling at the same time that I'm professing my love for the object, you should have shopped at Colombo's favourite department store.

And if I say "I love you" and heavily frown, either I don't like how my stocks are doing at the moment or I don't like you very much. Expressions are restricted to mouth movements when someone is faking it. Instead of my whole face lighting up when I smile, you may see the corners of my mouth turn up in a half-hearted grin, while I treat you to one of my trademark stone cold glares.

A normal person will look up to the left when thinking about the past and up to the right when thinking about the future. For example, if you ask someone the colour of their first baby, or the name of their first boss to die of cardiac arrest, they will look up to their left to reminisce. However, if they look up to their right, they are thinking of the future, which indicates that their answer may be a lie.

I have taught you long and well. Now can you tell when someone is pulling the wool over your eyes?

A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.

A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.

A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.

A liar uses humour or sarcasm to avoid a subject.