ISSN: 1391 - 0531
Sunday January 6, 2008
Vol. 42 - No 32
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His life gives us strength

Dr. C.L. Fernando

December 26 was not a happy day for most of us, and it needs no elaboration. Anniversaries are for remembering loved ones who will never come back and December 26, is probably the day that haunts us most, as individuals and as a nation. Dr. C.L. Fernando was one among some 37,000 who died on that fateful day. Yet, he was, for me, not one in 37,000. He was 'one'. The number one: No two words about it. Yes, I remembered him on December 26, just as I remembered him on December 26, 2006 and December 26, 2005. That's not special, however.

The truth is that in the past three years, not a day has passed when I didn't think of him. Such was the power of his presence in my life, just as in the lives of others no doubt, not least of all his father late Herman and mother Joyce. They were very proud of their son's meteoric rise in the academic field, culminating in a top post at the World Bank. Their anguish, I simply cannot fathom for they were his parents, whereas I, a mere friend.

I can recount here the history of our friendship, which I have recounted before. I can recall how we met in the kindergarten at S. Thomas' College, Mt. Lavinia, how our friendship grew over the years, how he excelled as a student, how he exemplified Thomian grit, how he fulfilled his academic potential by obtaining a doctorate, and how he applied the knowledge he gathered in his career, which saw him being appointed as Country Economist of the World Bank.

Or, I can talk about the eminently personal, like how he always kept in touch, wherever he happened to be. If you ask around, there will be hundreds of people who will tell the same story about him. And I am sure that if you ask around, there will be hundreds who will also tell you that his absence is felt acutely, everyday, not just on December 26.

He was someone who was there for you, but more importantly, someone who actually could help when the entire world collapsed. I can't help thinking that had he not been a victim himself, he would have moved mountains to bring relief to those whose lives crashed around those terrible waves. No, it would have had little to do with the position he held and the organization he worked for. Simply, he was a stupendous human being with rare energy and rarer heart.

It is easy to begin sentences with 'had he been here…,' it is almost a cliché, but I am in possession of a poor lexicon, so I must say that had he been here, the huge intellectual lacuna that this country suffers from today would have been filled.

The country misses him, I am convinced. As for me, whenever things get me down, when it appears that nothing works, that the obstacles are insurmountable, then I miss my friend. I miss his words of comfort and I miss the calm way in which he approached all things and how he always found a workable solution.

Life is about arrivals and departures, I wrote one year after his death. In the interim, Dr. Fernando lived a life that makes it impossible for anyone to be indifferent to his sudden departure. His life gives us strength, his death disempowers us. Caught between the two extremes, our imperfections trouble us, we lose our way.

CL believed that the best way to predict your future is by creating it. Well, it was easy for him. He was a workaholic, true, but his work ethic was buttressed by intellect. He said 'work, work and work' was the best medicine for trauma. It is not that I have not worked, but it hasn't really worked the way he predicted; not when it came to the trauma of his leaving.

Each of us must take refuge in memories and each of us will smile and be grateful in our own way. Each of us will grieve in our own way and strive to honour the memory of an exceptional man by rehearsing the kind of approach to life that he advocated simply by living it. It is not easy. Not easy at all.

By Krishantha Prasad Cooray

 
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