Dance little lady, dance-and help me regain my throne!

By Rypvanwinkle

Mahinda Maama was meeting Sharukh Khan. We suspect the dialogue went like this...
"Hello, Hello, so nice to see you, Sharukh..."
"Nice to see you too, though I thought you chaps didn't want to see me ever again..."

"Why, why, Sharukh, what gave you that impression? You know me, I'm a big fan of yours and I watch every movie you act in..."
"Why, the last time that I went over there, your guys staged a fast unto death to prevent my concert being staged and then threw grenades at it when it was in full swing..."

"Oh, Sharukh, that was in 2004; you know I was not in charge then. You know, I am still trying to investigate many things that happened then and if you wish I can accuse Satellite of that too..."
"But, I thought that was done by those Hela Urumaya chaps..."

"They did stage the fast against you but no one could prove that they were responsible for the grenade attack, Sharukh..."
"But aren't they part of your government now?"
"Ha, ha, who isn't, Sharukh? Everybody is a part of my government! Even those who slandered me during the last election campaign are part of my government..."

"So, won't you be in trouble now?"
"Why is that, Sharukh?"
"Why, won't they protest when they see pictures of you and me hugging and smiling for the cameras?"
"What nonsense, Sharukh? They won't be permitted to do that after what they have done with their permits..."
"Oh, it is alright, then..."

"Of course, Sharukh. In our country ministers don't usually protest or resign. In fact they don't resign even if I want them to and even those who do resign return and meekly accept their jobs back..."
"Then, if there are no more protests, maybe I should return to your country for a concert once again..."
"Please do, Sharukh, Please do..."

"But if I do that, do you think you can guarantee my security?"
"Of course, I can, Sharukh, don't worry about that..."
"But how can you be so sure about that?"
"Well, all I need to do is to close all the roads on which you would be travelling and create a few traffic jams. I do that everyday, so you don't have to worry about that, Sharukh..."

"But won't that make you hugely unpopular?"
"Well, I don't think I can get any more unpopular right now, so it won't make much of a difference anyway..."
"Well, then maybe I'll visit your country after all, if you really think you can guarantee my safety..."
"Oh, Sharukh, if you are so worried about that I can even give you two of my best body guards during your visit..."
"Two bodyguards? Who are they?"

"They are called Mervyn and Malaka; don't worry, they will handle any situation ..."
"Alright then, but when should I come?"
"That is precisely why I wanted to meet you and inform you Sharukh. You must come during the next election campaign..."
"Why is that?"

"Why, Sharukh, the cost of living is rising. Everyone is blaming me for wastage and for maintaining a huge cabinet. Usually in such situations our cricket team starts winning matches and everyone forgets about everything but now even that is not happening..."
"But what can I do about that?"

"Why, Sharukh, you come over and do a few dance items on my campaign platform and people will forget everything and vote for me again. That is how I got elected last time"
"But I didn't dance for your last campaign..."

"No, you didn't; but the Hela Urumaya and the JVP sang 'baila' for me then, so you can do it this time..."
Even Sharukh Khan didn't know what to say to that suggestion.