ISSN: 1391 - 0531
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Vol. 41 - No 52

Going solo!

By The Scribe

Get good job, make lots of money, look after parents, build home of your dreams or buy apartment close to town, maintain ties with old friends while making new ones…hmmm oh yes… make mother happy – find good man and "settle down."

Ever noticed how this group of young, independent women in their early to mid- twenties, with little or no inkling towards getting married, is growing at an increasingly alarming rate?

I say alarming not because I actually consider it to be so, but, merely to try and capture the general feeling of 'impending doom' predicted for this lot, by the rest of society.

Although I don't seem to be able to put a finger on the exact cause of this seemingly new phenomenon, drawing from my personal convictions on the issue (and being a member of the ever-popular group, myself) I'd like to have a go at fathoming it out!

Well… how I see it is that it's not so much that most young women nowadays are not interested in the whole 'marriage and kids' package, it's just that it's not exactly the 'be all and end all' of their lives anymore (and quite rightly so). Marriage is still quite an important part of our lives, but our entire world doesn't revolve around its occurrence is all we're saying.

Why people a few generations ago possibly find it difficult to comprehend is because, when they were growing up, most, if not all young girls would consider marriage to be almost like a lifetime goal of the utmost significance; a life's purpose almost. The gradual change in this sort of mindset is probably what got the ball rolling. Nowadays, women have set themselves numerous targets in life.

They've set five-ten year plans for themselves and are quite serious in sticking to them quite faithfully, with as little interference as possible. Marriage may or may not be a part of these plans, but what it finally boils down to is that it is very much a 'part' of the larger picture and not the entire picture itself, thus making it a tad difficult for our dear elders to digest!

More men today (promiscuous philanderers and eternal bachelors aside) are willing to commit and settle down at a comparatively young age, than women. This is not essentially a latest trend as such.

My guess is that men have always been this way. They finish school and possibly their higher studies, settle down with a good job, sow their wild oats far and wide and then fed up with the 'high flying life', look towards settling down. Why it seems more evident now is because women have changed the way they see marriage. Thus, making men seem more committed when in actuality they are the same as they always were, it's the women if at all, who have changed.

I don't know for sure if the reason for this somewhat lower priority for marriage is because more and more women want to pursue higher studies and then their careers, if they have little confidence in the existence of such a thing as a 'good man', a mixture of the two or something else all together. Is it that women don't feel the need to get married because they're too involved with the rest of their lives and therefore, don't have the time or effort to put into a lifetime relationship? Or simply, that they don't see is it as an absolute necessity given their current circumstances. You can't blame a girl for wanting more from life beyond marriage, right?

A new breed of women has been born and it sure looks like they're here to stay... Amen to that!

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Copyright 2007 Wijeya Newspapers Ltd.Colombo. Sri Lanka.