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TIMES POSTCARD
What kind of Jackal is this?
By Rajpal Abeynayake
They did not use a sniper gun to assassinate the foreign minister. They used a normal gun.

They could have done it with a galkatass, now we are told. Patass with a glakatass, and it could have been all over, just like it was that Friday before last.

This has really skewed my imagination about this whole thing.
Earlier, even though they were all distraught about the foreign minister’s killing, they were awed by the sophistication of it all.

My friends were saying it was like the Day of the Jackal or grassy knoll.
Like some Hollywood movie — or at least like something the CIA or the ‘Dogs of War’ are capable of.

Now they say that the shooter used a tripod, and that the tripod was only to sit on. Imagine all that hard work — bringing steel to manufacture a tripod, sawing it in silence, all just to sit on?

Earlier, me and my friends had imagined a scene of a sniper gun being placed on a tripod, and some sharp shooter looking through night vision glasses peering through a telescopic lens to take a shot at the foreign minister — a moving target some 250 meters away.

Now they tell me, the guy was sitting on the tripod, and he did it with an Uzi or something, even though the distance was such that he could have just as well used a glakatass.

Patass, all those sophisticate visions of a shot taken in day of the jackal fashion vanishes, shoosh. Now we hear that the assassins who were here in Colombo to be martyred were almost begging for someone to come and arrest them — but since nobody came they had to beat a slow retreat.

They were to be martyred, but in the end they were treated like nothing mattered, and so they have to be martyred all over again, imagine the trouble gone through for nothing?

For the shooter, however, it must have been a terrible terrible anti climax.
We have been told that the foreign minister’s car was armour plated.
He had the most sophisticated defences against a suicide bomber in South Asia.

But then, some guy sitting on a tripod — mind you not keeping his gun on a tripod but just keeping his butt on one — fires something at galkatass range, and isn’t even martyred for his work?

What did they say, bread is dear and life is cheap — no, no they have to invert that one and say life is dear, and all our security men are super dears. What would shooters and bombers do without them??

But we have to admit that the FM was indeed the most heavily guarded person in the country, perhaps next to the president, and if he could have been taken out with a galkatass with somebody sitting on a tripod, what will the scenario be with a lesser personage?

Maybe the answer can be provided at a security drill.
The lieutenant asks his trooper “ Sergeant, what will be the most convenient way for the enemy to take out our minister X’’
“Sir, the enemy can do it with a catapult sitting on an anthill.’’
“Why does he have to sit on an anthill you goose?’’

“Well sir, they sat on a tripod to kill the foreign minister, didn’t they?’’
“That’s right the bloody fools — the tripod is meant to keep a gun, not to sit on. We are dealing with bloody amateurs here.’’

“I stand corrected sir. They can take out minister X with a catapult kept on an anthill.’’ “Very good sergeant, sit on an anthill, and you will end up with ants in your pants, no?’’

“”Well shouldn’t that at least excite them until they wait two hours for the military to come and arrest them in order to be martyred?’’

“You have a point sergeant — you have a point. But the point is that minister X had a full secure round the clock security system, which means that getting him with a catapult is certainly not in the realm of possibility.’’ Sergeant: “Then sir, they might still be able to do the job with a stone, while seated on a blade of grass?’’

“That’s very true sergeant, full marks. It presents an added problem to our security men after the event — they will take at least three hours to determine which blade of grass the stone was thrown from. We have to think about that, and come up with a solution before the enemy’s next attempt’’

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