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TIMES POSTCARD
It's suffocating, doing justice for S.B. Dissanayake
By Rajpal Abeynayake
Karu Jayasuriya, Rajitha Senaratne Milinda Moragoda and others were imprisoned recently. That's right. They were lugged in the slammer. At the Trans Asia. They suffered humiliating enervating imprisonment in five star conditions.

A prison was erected at the Trans Asia lobby. Prisoners in prison jumper suits were walking about. They were looking as pleased as punch, as if being in the slammer was the best fun they have had in their lives….

Somewhere in the proceedings, the former Ministers Karu, Rajitha, and Milinda were pushed into prison, along with Tamara Dissanayake. What would Rajitha have said? Pity the journalists around were not within earshot to listen. "You punk, you prison guard, turn that damn air-conditioner down, will you...''

And Karu Jayasuriya? "I say, prison guard, turn down that music coming from the lobby areas will you - I don't like all that jazz.''
"But it is a live band sir, we can't turn it down. "

"I say, this prison life is harder than I thought. Imagine having to put up with all that jazz.''
The five star prison was to express solidarity with S. B. Dissanayake. The UNP has many other stratagems lined up to express solidarity with various underdogs. The UNP is planning to put up ten tents, and play house inside these tents next week.

This is to express solidarity with tsunami victims. The event will be at the Hilton Hotel. Hilton chefs will transport food from the kitchen, which will then be re-cooked inside a tent on an improvised fire, to express solidarity with the terrible conditions of tsunami victims. Milinda Moragoda and Rajitha Senaratne are both planning to gag on a piece of prime rib disguised by Paradise Road to look like a burnt out patholaya.

The week after, the UNP is planning to empathise with civilians in the Eastern province, who are suffering because of the Karuna-LTTE fighting that has erupted there in that province. A UNF spokesman said in all earnestness, that there is a terrible dilemma simulating that province. "We have to choose a beachside location to simulate the conditions of Kalmunai, so we are not sure whether to pick the Taj Exotica or the Lighthouse Hotel. It's very difficult, this business of empathising with oppressed people.''

At this beachside hotel empathy-festival, the proposed tactic was for one top ex-UNF Minister to pass wind out very loud, to simulate a Karuna gunshot report that frightens the hell out of villagers. But this tactic was later abandoned, because it was deemed to be altogether too much empathising -- grosser than even the real thing…..

S.B. Dissanayake, one must not forget, was their man -- the UNP's own man. What better way, therefore, Milinda Moragoda would have suggested, than to start our man's campaign from the people's hotel - - the Trans Asia. How tender - - this UNP's feel for the people's pulse.

The prison exercise was simulated, because of a Website launched to highlight SB's imprisonment. Why couldn't' the website be launched at village headman's office? Won't do no. This is a people's campaign. Our people lunch everyday at the Trans Asia, no? So if they are suffering, let them suffer in techni colour, and in five star comfort, eh what?

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