Premier headlines and tailpieces
My Dear Ratne,
I thought I must write to you because you have lately been seen and heard to make statements that are, to say the least, controversial. For instance, Ratne, you have said that Norway should give up its facilitator role, pack its bags and go home. You also said that there is a limit to the patience in the South, while the Tigers systematically keep eliminating their opponents and called upon the armed forces to "defend themselves" if provoked.

Honestly, Ratne we do not know what to make of your statements: whether to treat them as the antics of a politician who is now virtually retired and is trying to grab some headlines or as a more serious declaration of government policy.

But we do hope these statements are not like those bold declarations you made saying the government will bring down the cost of living in two days ? because petrol prices rose again just after that!

And if your purpose was indeed to grab some headlines just before your eventual retirement, your statements were very badly timed, Ratne. Just in case you are not aware, the public at large now do not care about the Tigers killing Tamil journalists or Karuna's faction killing the Tigers in revenge. They have more mundane issues to worry about ? like how much tomorrow's bus ticket will cost.

But then there is another school of thought which believes that what you said was what Satellite really wanted to say but couldn't because that would not be considered very diplomatic. After all, you have always been Satellite's loyal and trusted friend, much more than your successor for instance. It is also unthinkable that you made such statements without the approval of Madam!

But just to confuse us a little bit more the very next day Avamangala pours scorn on your remarks saying that there is no threat of war and that all is well with our country, even if there is a drought in the North Central province, a lack of control in the North and anarchy in the East…

Or is this all a well thought out strategy, Ratne, to confuse Velu too and frighten him into thinking that the South is also preparing for war? But really, Ratne, do you think Velu would care about what you, Wimal and a few Buddhist monks say? I am sure he too must be suffering from the rising cost of living, having to feed his growing army of children and young adults with the cost of parippu and kiri piti rising almost daily. Besides, if he were to respond to every statement made by a politician in Colombo he wouldn't be in the position of strength he is now in, would he?

Anyway, Ratne, it is always nice to hear from you even if what you say is sometimes controversial. We eagerly await more of the same because it is at least different from the news of daily price increases of gas, petrol, electricity, kiri piti and bus fares. Well, at least the government is kind enough to do it while the cricket team is winning their matches so that everyone is kept reasonably happy!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS- I'm told that you have been called 'gedara yana gaman' because you seem to have the knack of getting top positions. Unfortunately Ratne, that title has now been stolen from you by someone else on whom the title is perhaps a little more justified!

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