Friends, Britons and countrymen
Besides kiributh and its traditional accoutrements, the High Commission party for the Sri Lankan community on Independence Day had hot hoppers being baked on one side of the reception hall and two types of vadai being fried on the other.

What was missing was a tasty Muslim buriyani to complete the culinary ethnic mix. But the morning is hardly the time for that delectable dish. However that evening there was a real achcharu in one of the committee rooms of the mother of parliaments.

An organisation styling itself Friends of Sri Lanka (UK) that seemed to have sprung up only the other day and not to be confused with a long standing organisation called Friends of Sri Lanka consisting of prominent Sri Lankans, former British and Sri Lankan diplomats and business figures, announced that it was holding a "private briefing" on the "Peace Process in Sri Lanka" under the auspices of Rt. Hon. Barry Gardiner MP and Rt. Hon. Andrew Love MP.

But the advertisement that appeared in a Sri Lankan tabloid here called it an "All Party Political Evening" to discuss the peace process. No mention was made of any organisation called "Friends of Sri Lanka" UK or any other place on this planet.

Quite naturally some thought "all party" meant participants drawn from the spectrum of Sri Lankan political groups. This was even more confusing because there is a group from the three main political parties in the two houses of the UK parliament that makes up the Sri Lanka caucus and takes a special interest in Sri Lankan affairs.

This discussion, however, was under the auspices of two members, both from the Labour Party. So the "All Party Political Evening" had dwindled to one party even before it started.

Excuses were made before and after for the non-appearance-on paper or person- of members from other political parties. Even Mike O'Brien, the minister of state in the foreign office in charge of South Asia, who was billed to speak, apparently cried off earlier in the day pleading he had to host a dinner for some visiting African leader who probably was using last year's calendar and arrived in London a day ahead of schedule or some such story.

I did not see any marines around. Otherwise I might have told them the story. I was told later that several retired marines were acting as 'enforcers' in the public gallery of the Commons and had been busy earlier in the day throwing out some protestors who heckled Tony Blair shouting "war criminals", "murderers" and equally friendly epithets.

Anyway there I was, having been first checked by security and asked to deposit my ballpoint pens in a tray as though I was trying to sneak in with Saddam Hussein's missing weapons of mass destruction disguised as innocent writing instruments.

After some to-ing and fro-ing by somebody who I later came to know as Andrew Love MP and a few apologies from him for the delay as the House was still sitting discussing the now notorious Hutton Report, in walked bearded Barry Gardiner, armed with enough weighty tomes to impress any novitiate to the world of parliamentarians.

So after an introduction by Andrew Love, his colleague from the Labour Party benches got into the act and soon put his foot squarely in his mouth. He accused the new SLFP-JVP alliance of the "most appalling racist" remarks and claimed that he was now even more pessimistic of a peace than he was two years ago when he was in Colombo.

Later when somebody in the audience challenged Barry Gardiner, who has earned a reputation among some for his pro-LTTE proclivities, to say what these racist remarks he said he read them in reports. Okay, so what are these reports and where are they?

Sorry, I do not have them with me. He appears to be picking up these habits from his leader Blair who thundered in parliament about Saddam's WMD that could be launched in 45 minutes of an order and so threatened the region and Britain too.

But in parliament last Wednesday he claimed he knew they were battlefield and not long-range weapons only the day before his war-like speech to parliament. And he admits this only now.

Funny how Gardiner who was always billed to speak at the discussion and had all the time in the world to bring the evidence to back his claims is easily humbled when asked to put the remarks where his mouth is. Of course he could not because his foot was already there.

Soon after Barry (who some wag later named him Barry-wela) Gardiner proved his usefulness to the balanced and informative discussion that Andy Love wanted, somebody named Mahadevan introduced himself saying that the media and others call him Professor Mahadevan. He thus promptly established his infinite wisdom and seemed to dare anybody to cross his path.

He did not say what he was professor of, nor where he was a professor. But he did produce a copy of a book he said he wrote setting out a peace plan for Sri Lanka. He said that even the Foreign Office had bought a couple of copies at £10 each.

Perhaps he was a professor of marketing and self-advertisement like some others with doctorates I have encountered more recently. Had Prof. Mahadevan decided to unveil his peace plan as he had unfolded his book, we would probably still be there. Fortunately he called it off but did not call it a day.

Thereafter it was two hours of disinformation, misinformation, half-truths, inaccuracies, historical revelations interspersed with a moment or two of hilarity. It was the height of servility when one participant virtually begged the two British MPs and their colleagues to come to Sri Lanka to "educate" our own leaders.

It is bad enough, some one said, that the British created the problem in the first place with its colonial policy, now they are being invited back, perhaps to add to the mess.

Talking of colonialism, one participant said that British administrators and others writing about their time in Sri Lanka talked gushingly of the smiling people of Ceylon. Barry Gardiner whose ego was probably inflated by now after having been referred to as Right Honourable member, suddenly broke into Shakespeare, quoting from Hamlet:

"One can smile and smile and still be a villain". Perhaps Gardiner was trying to display he had a retentive memory. Whatever it is his denigration of the whole Sri Lankan nation as villains could not be allowed to pass unchallenged.

So at the butt end of the meeting-which was no discussion really - I intervened to remind Mr Gardiner that while he might be honourable he was not right, for Shakespeare was not referring to the Sri Lankans but his own people.

Aah, said Gardiner, it is not our people but the Danes that Shakespeare was referring to. That's what I mean, I said, you are all the same. And as proof of those words prophetic from Hamlet one need only turn to Gardiner's own leader Tony Blair whose constant smile could eat a banana sideways.

The very next day news pictures showed Tony Blair smiling at protestors who damned him and his war mongering colleagues as war criminals. And poor Andrew Love who wants to take the peace process forward fought shy of even mentioning the LTTE's proposals.

He also mentioned Chris Patten's visit to Sri Lanka and his talks with all parties concerned. But once again he made no mention, nor did anybody else, of Patten's unequivocal four-point admonition to the LTTE at Kilinochchi. In the end that meeting was Andrew Love's labour lost.


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