Drawing the line
By J.P. Siviter
All children misbe-have from time to time. Why? I think that there are two main reasons.
Firstly, children have to learn what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. They do this by pushing at the boundaries that adults set for them. The precise nature of these boundaries is not important. What is important is that they need to be consistent and reinforced by the behaviour of the adults who impose them, otherwise children will be confused.

For example, it is silly for a parent who swears to reprimand a child for swearing. Parents and teachers can do much to help their children by setting well-defined boundaries and applying them consistently.

Secondly, children misbehave when they want attention or are unhappy. For instance, children who are told repeatedly that they are not very good at something lose their confidence, their self-esteem decreases and they become unhappy. Often they react by behaving badly to draw attention to themselves.

At a recent parents’ evening, a well-meaning mother came up to me with her “naughty” daughter and proceeded to tell me, “that of course she isn’t very good at this...” Hardly encouraging remarks for her daughter. How much better it would have been to have commented in a more positive way, focussing on her daughter’s achievements as well as on the need for further improvement. Praise and constructive criticism are equally important in helping a child develop.

The balance between the two has to be right if confidence, self-esteem and attitude are not to suffer. What should be done about misbehaviour? Frequently sanctions are applied. These need to be appropriate, worthwhile and understood by the child. Sanctions that do not have any value serve only to generate resentment and encourage lack of respect.

That children make mistakes is normal and healthy but they have to learn from them; it is a serious matter if they do not. They have to know also that the slate can be wiped clean and that a fresh start can be made without grudges being held.
(The writer is the principal of the British School in Colombo.)

Back to Top

Back to Mirror Magazine

Copyright © 2001 Wijeya Newspapers Ltd. All rights reserved.
Contact us: | Editorial | | Webmaster|