Dear Lee (Letter withheld on request),
I'm sure neither of your parents
want you to make a commitment at such a young age. They're afraid
that you two might disrupt your studies and ruin your lives. It's
understandable. If you truly love each other, your love will stand
the test of time whether near or far. It all depends on the two
of you. If she must go abroad then there's little you can do. Keep
in touch through e-mails and chat conversations. Be patient and
strong. Things will work out if you remain true to each other.
I'm a sixteen-year-old girl. My father works in a tea factory
and was transferred to another estate. I met this guy at the farewell
function held for my father. I fell in love with him right away.
Looking into his eyes I felt that he loved me too. After three months
we met again but I never spoke about my love. I love him so much.
Tell me what to do?
Well, whatever his eyes may have
said he's failed to communicate it. You know next to nothing about
him. Don't rush into things. You may have read more than his eyes
implied. So far he hasn't said anything, so it's upto you to decide
whether you want to make the first move. If so, next time you bump
into him, say hi and strike up a conversation. If you can get hold
of his number, give him a ring on some pretext or the other. Get
to know him as a person before you make a move. You can then decide
whether he's the one for you.
I'm a 24-year-old guy who's been going out with a girl for
the past two years. She has been telling me for sometime that it's
time to meet her parents. Since I'm jobless right now, I told her
I'd speak to them as soon as I found a job. Two weeks later, she
tells me she has another boyfriend and that if I come to a certain
place I could meet him. When I went, there were lots of guys there
and I spoke with the guy who said he was her boyfriend. He showed
me a photograph of hers. I'm sure she had asked him to act like
her boyfriend. I don't know why she has changed. Please help me.
It may have seemed to her that you were just playing around. After
all, you've been going out with her for two years and you've never
asked to meet her parents. If you think there's another guy involved,
you're not going to go around bothering her. If you truly love her,
you still have time to go and meet her parents and explain things
to them. Don't just wait for a job to land at your feet, go out
there and start looking for one. You're 24, don't waste your time.
Whether this relationship works out or not it's time you owe it
to yourself to get on with your life.
Dear Sony (Letter withheld on request),
He's 23; he should be able to stand up for himself. If he keeps
wavering all the time, he's not going to be someone you can lean
on in times of trouble. If you really want to, try to speak to him
again. You'll only be inviting trouble and heartache if you pursue
this. Discuss this with your father. He was willing to meet your
boyfriend and seems to be quite open-minded. He may even be able
to speak directly with your boyfriend's parents and figure out a
solution. If he doesn't know whether it's you or what he wants,
then he's not worth the trouble. Think twice!