Satellite, ensure your house is in order
My Dear Satellite,
I thought I must write to you after all this talk about clipping your wings and diluting your powers. I must say though, you have come through it all quite well, surviving so far but whether the country is better off because of that, remains to be seen!

Pardon me for saying so, Satellite, but even if the Greens are trying to oust you, it is confusing for the average citizen to find you talking about the virtues of cohabitation one day on national television only to find you describing cabinet ministers the very next day using various names that are usually heard of at the Dehiwela zoo!

Of course, you have too have to thank our learned friends who preside at Hulftsdorp Hill for your survival until now for they in their immense collective wisdom ruled that politicians shouldn't vote with their conscience. No wonder then that they say the law is an ass!

But what really matters is that you have survived and what you should be doing in the next few years-that is, of course, if you do not want to dissolve the House once the one year deadline elapses.

That is a difficult decision, Satellite, because if you do, the Blues may well end up with less than the number they already have in the House. On the other hand, if you don't, the Greens may try to steal an impeachment motion into the Order Paper just to make sure that you would not be upto any mischief. But, having come this far, I'm sure you will be able to make the most astute decision on that matter, what with the likes of Avamanagala and the Media Doctor to guide you.

Then, I also heard that you were upto some other tricks as well-that you were doing exactly the reverse of what the Greens were trying to do: trying to win over some disgruntled greens over to your side by offering them portfolios in a future administration.

Of course, Satellite, you can do so even now because you can appoint anyone a minister. And wouldn't it be fun if you can lure some greens and make them cabinet ministers voting with the blues and sitting in the same meeting with their former green colleagues!

But for now, what everyone else is interested in is what the Green Man is doing with Velu's agents in Thailand for the second time in as many months. I heard Bala singing the praises of Green Man in a manner that even he would be embarrassed. So, watch out, Satellite, at the next elections the Tigers and their elected representatives may well support the Greens and then it would be very, very hard to beat them!

But before you manipulate all that, there are many, many issues to deal with on the Blue side. There is Richard who would be very agreeable to any suggestions from the Green side, then there is the Southerner who still feels an outsider despite being the nominal leader and finally there is your dearly beloved Mallo who, like Prince Charles, is waiting and waiting in vain for the Queen to abdicate.

Considering all this, Satellite, I believe it would be better for you to put your own house in order before trying to sabotage the Greens. And whatever you do, don't try to undo the peace process and appear patriotic-because the people now seem to like this strange peace-even if it is without honour-and trying to sabotage that may well lose you more votes!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS- And, try to keep your appointments, especially with the Norwegians. How else are you going to get a share of the Nobel Peace Prize?

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