7th December 1997

Oh! what's in a name?

Our chequered pedagogical career was punctuated by a teaching stint in Central Africa. One of the first things we had to get used to was the names of our pupils out there in the "Dark Continent".

At first blush the pupils all looked alike. As they crouched before their desks, their dark faces, crinkly hair and snub noses gave them a uniform appearance of sheer blackness. But then they soon began to crystallize, each face taking on a unique appearance, a singular countenance, and of course a name that reflected a personality belonging only to each one of them. They were faces that ranged through prismatic gradations from primeval obscurity - when the earth was formless and the raging ocean was engulfed in total darkness - to superbly sculpted face, magnificent body, and statuesque beauty that animated the slogan "Black is Beautiful".

One by one, we began to learn the names of those little African personalities, names that ranged from those that sounded musical and pretty, like Namasiku Situmbeko and Sepiso Siame, to those that sounded bizarre and amusing, like Knife Kazimu and Kitchen Mwale. Many of our pupils carried the names of common classroom objects. There were, for example, Paper Mwale and Pencil Tembo and Rubber Zulu.

Other first names were English adjectives. In our classes every morning we called out names such as Forward Nyirenda, Smart Phiri, Marvellous Moonga, Hilarious Shawa (elder brother of Nervous Shawa), Soft Zulu, Fit Lupungo and Right Mtonga.

There were also names of insects: Fly Nsamba and Spider Pangamwanya, for instance, were two of our recalcitrant Fifth Formers. They never stopped jabbering in their own language Nyanja, and all our entreaties to get them to 'stop talking' fell on deaf ears. "Osa panga", "osa panga" (Nyanja for "stop talking"), however, produced an instant response. A little bit of their own language from an expatriate Sri Lankan teacher worked wonders; it did the trick! But the problem was that there are four main Zambian languages to learn.

Tonga, Bemba and Lozi are the other three. None of them has a written script of its own.

Names ending with the suffix "son" were legion: Blackson, Everyson, Patson, Whatson, Widson, Tapison, Hedson, Lackson, Hadson and Redson. "Well" was another popular suffix. One list began with Bornwell, ranged through Standwell, Sitwell, Beatwell, Askwell, Handwell, Fanwell, and ended with Staywell and Gowell. Yet another common suffix was "more" in names such as Passmore, Lovemore (her full name was Lovemore Tendera Chiwala), Givemore and Thinkmore.

Kitchen Mwale, Mustard Zulu, Knife Zulu, Spooni (spoon) Chiluba, Table Kashya, and Wine Kachonka we collated under "Kitchen" and Flannel Simutowe, Shoes Phiri, Sokosi (socks) Sujela, Jacket Phiri, and Stockings Mupundu under 'Clothing'. Under "Fruits" came Orange Chipatanya and Lemon Phiri.

How does one come to terms with first names such as Saliva, Wireless, Sandless, Sixpence, Shilling, Six, News, Petrol, and Point, and also Sent Daka, Try Banda, Cement Kani and Motor Walubita! And, how indeed does one grapple with Alimony Mwanza, News Phiri, Office Kapinda, Sign Nanda, Sandless Mtonga, Seven Banda, Six Munsha, Town Zulu, Time Mpulunga and Living Lunda?

These names provide an illuminating illustration of the side effects of long years of colonial subjugation when African parents preferred, as did Sri Lankan parents under British Rule, to give their offspring English names. The difference, however, is that with these African English names, anything goes; any English word would do as long as it was an English word. The illiterate just picked up any common English word they knew and gave it to their children. We were told that it was the British Bwanas (the masters) who had suggested such names for their houseboys' newborn children. How wicked of them!

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