The Fifth Column

14th September 1997


Lucky bloke except for Thawalama

My Dear SB,

I thought I must write to you after seeing your picture in the newspapers, surrounded by all those girls in the netball team!

I say S.B., you are a very lucky man. Ever since you took up that job, our fortunes in sports have risen sky-high. We have won the World Cup and so many other cups in cricket, your friend Susanthika won the Silver medal and now, our netball team has become Asian champs. Even the football team is going great guns in Nepal!

And as for you, you sit back and take all the credit pausing only to send a message of congratulations! Then, of course, there is the tiresome task of going to Katunayake and garlanding all these people who come home after their victories, but that is all you have to do!

In comparison see what your colleagues have to undergo: Everytime there is a massacre, Anu is blamed. Whenever the price of bread is increased Kingsley is blamed. Then Richard has to deal with school children, teachers and undergraduates who are equally bad. Nimal is stuck with doctors, nurses, vaccines and Colvin. Fowzie, of course, is heading for the Guinness Record for strikes. And poor G.L., he gets blamed even when it rains!

So, now, SB, do you realise what a lucky man you are?

But I know some people are jealous of all this, SB. Take that Mangala, for instance. He didn't invite you for his 'thavalama' did he? And you had to go crying to Satellite who told you "ganang ganda epa" and took you with her in her helicopter to Anuradhapura.

Anyway, they say this entire "Thavalama" set-up was thought up by Mangala to get his share of publicity. Just like you and your "Samurdhi" set-up! But, the name "Thavalama" is rather unfortunate considering the fact that cartoonists are having a field day depicting you-know-who as a you-know-what. A pity Mangala didn't confine himself to designing fashions!

By the way, SB, I heard you doing some tough talking about the Cricket Board. Why is this sudden change of heart? Hasn't Upali of the New World been inviting you for the award ceremonies lately? As far as I remember last time he forgot to do that, he nearly lost his job; so what's the reason to get rid of him now?

Then, SB, whatever happened to that brother of yours who ran amok in Hanguranketha and then joined the greens? I am sure Ranil will let him loose at the next elections, so watch out.

But, SB, be careful in the next couple of months. There are no cricket matches to keep the minds of the people away from other matters, so they might become worried about what you and your colleagues are doing to the country!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha.


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