15th December 1996

Elena: The epitome of inherent elegance

by Ilika Karunaratne

Today, Sunday December 15 is the birthday of Elena Jayewardene. One of the greatest blessings, I have ever had, is the privilege of a long and close acquaintance with her; which has taught me a great deal. Therefore I would like to begin this tribute, by saying, with apologies to William Shakespeare, "How do I thank thee? let me count the ways".

From my teenage years, she was always my ideal of what a wife and mother should be. A lady in every sense of the word. People from all walks of life, who have never met her, but only observed her from afar, have the greatest respect for her. Whereever she is , or whoever she is with, she always gives the impression of being the epitome of inherent elegance. Although Mrs. Jayewardene, was born with a silver spoon; being the only child of wealthy parents, she has always been at heart, a simple person.

She never flaunted her wealth, nor was she boastful, just as in later years, as wife of the country's first executive president, she never flaunted her importance. She has taught us all, by example, that the secret of true greatness is simplicity. Mrs. Jayewardene's life, as the wife of a politician was not always easy; but she took it with grace, in her stride.

She was with President Jayewardene, on every step of the ladder on his climb to the top. Her calm demeanour, support and strength were there like a rock for him. His political life had many ups and downs and in the difficult times her presence was a haven for him; for she never failed him, by word or by action.

A devout Buddhist, and true to the teachings of Lord Buddha, she is tolerant of other religions and respects another's right to the faith of his choice. Her example has taught me to have great respect for Buddhism, which has helped me considerably in my marriage to a Buddhist.

Patience; being objective even though disagreeing with another's views; to realise that we have an innate responsibility to the underprivileged in our land; to have courage in any predicament, were all instilled in me by her example.

It was a great privilege to work with Mrs. Jayewardene, in social service projects and in the Seva Vanitha movement, which was her brainchild. She presided at these meetings with dignity and understanding; was always punctual, knowledgeable in discussion and resolute in her leadership.

The inception of the Seva Vanitha movement, the drafting of its constitution, the choice of its logo, and the planning, were all done under her guidance with just a committee of seven before the formal launching.

She took a personal interest in every project and gave all of us who worked with her immeasurable encouragement and inspiration.

Someone remarked quite recently after President Jayewardene's death, that Mrs. Jayewardene's life was a lesson in behavior patterns for VIPs' wives. I would add that her exemplary conduct throughout her life, is an example for wives, everywhere.

Just as she was a shining example as a politician's wife, right through her husband's political life, and his occupancy of the highest echelons of power; she has shown us all how to behave at the time of irreparable loss, like her recent bereavement.

Although, just out of hospital herself, she did everything expected of her; conducting herself remarkably as always, with her own inimitable brand of courage and dignity.

She strictly adhered to our country's customs that widows should grieve and mourn in private; never seeking cheap publicity or allowing herself to be manipulated or thrust into the limelight by others.

She has shown that one's most treasured memories are best kept private; never to be aired publicly for any reason whatsoever.

When I think of Mrs. Jayewardene the words of Wordsworth keep echoing in my mind.

"A perfect woman, nobly planned; to guide, to comfort and command."

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