APPRECIATIONS
View(s):A special bond– we laughed and cried together
Nilmani Maithri Peiris
Nilmani is no longer here to celebrate what would have been her 65th birthday with us.
She left us to go to her eternal rest on February 18 this year creating a void that so many of us cannot come to terms with. Although she hadn’t been in the best of health during the past months, we took her presence among us for granted. The loss and feeling of emptiness that has overcome us is unthinkable.
To me, Nilmani, was always ‘Diga’, a name that she acquired during our school and netball days, on account of her height – a physical characteristic she got from both sides of her family. We had a very special relationship, like a sister with whom you could share every secret and a dear friend for whom and with whom you would do anything – we would cry together, laugh together, travel together, eat together, or just sit together without any conversation and know that the silence spoke more than words.
Nilmani and I knew each other from the age of five when we started school at Methodist College. We were in parallel classes, I in the English medium and she in the Sinhalese medium. The medium of instruction is not an issue for friendships at Metho where we had some classes jointly and were able to meet and become friends with others of our age group, irrespective of the medium we studied in. We travelled in the same school bus, played netball together, and lived within a couple of minutes of each other, which made her home a second home to me, and a pit stop during cycling trips, as her mother, Aunty Sirima always had food and drinks for us.
Nilmani then left to spend a fair share of her adult life in the UK, and we would meet only when she came down on holidays. Our friendship grew and bonded to what it was, only after she started coming down more frequently, probably around 25 years ago, and finally stayed on permanently after her father, Uncle Wyn passed away. We worshipped together at the Mount Lavinia Methodist Church, were involved in various church activities – Adults Fellowship, Board of Social Responsibilities, teaching English to the school van drivers, working for fund raisers, etc. Nilmani was also an active member of the Methodist Women’s Fellowship.
We had other good times together. We would go out regularly for meals, go on long drives, sometimes getting into one of our cars and heading down south with no plan, stopping to watch the fishing nets being drawn in, returning via Monis Bakery, and the fruit shops. We would visit friends, go out for a night at a resort hotel with school friends on holiday from abroad, go to the movies, etc. We did so much together. We would talk to each other almost daily on the phone and were always there for each other at a time of need, anxiety, celebration, sickness or trouble. There seemed to be some telepathy between us where each one would know when the other needed something, even before being asked.
On one occasion I received a phone call at 2 a.m. Nilmani did not recall calling me, however, Caller ID showed me it was her. There was no response from the other end, except for anxious voices. I kept calling back and finally reached her. She was in an ambulance alone on her way to hospital, having got ill in the night. I was able to check where they were heading and rush to the hospital where she was being admitted into Emergency, with her brother, Sunil and sister-in-law, Manisha, in control of the situation. They were always there for her – her towers of strength. She considered herself lucky to have them and her nephew, Shehan (her personal physician) a phone call away at any time.
My daughter, Mandy, too had a special relationship with her Aunty Diga. Diga loved her like she was her own daughter, she was proud of all her achievements, rejoiced at all her happy occasions, cried when sad or unhappy events occurred, and always kept in touch with her. Diga was Mandy’s “other mother” and I was happy to share my daughter with her.
Going by the words attributed to St Francis of Assissi, “Preach the Gospel at all times; Use words if necessary”, Nilmani was a true preacher of the Gospel and her acts of generosity and good deeds were indeed a reflection of the good Christian she was.
She would pray for everyone who needed prayer. She would have several alarms set on her phone to pray for different people and needs at different times. She was generous and helped everyone she knew of who was in need. She did not let her right hand know what her left hand did. Her giving would include coconut pluckers, security guards she met regularly at supermarkets, beggars who became her friends, three-wheel drivers and their families, friends and relations in need, etc. Her personal Christmas hampers for people and toys for children would increase each year.
Thoughtfulness for others was another of her strong points. If anyone was sick, Nilmani would go out of the way to supply a meal, visit, see if anything was needed, send a card, phone them or make some special comfort food for them. She did it all out of love because she knew that’s what she had to do, what God would want her to do.
Diga loved being with people. Apart from her family groups and church groups, she loved being on our Class Buddies Group. Prior to COVID we used to meet fairly frequently, and Nilmani enjoyed all those outings. One get-together for a classmate visiting from Canada took place a couple of days after she returned home from her cancer surgery. I took her for it and it cheered her up immensely. Her class buddies also hosted a surprise 60th birthday lunch for her and I know how moved she was by their love.
Nilmani had more than her fair share of bad times in her personal life as well as her complicated health conditions, but she bore them bravely. She always prayed for strength and guidance. She sang praises to God even when in intense pain and discomfort. She joked about her illness so others would be put at ease when they tried to talk to her about it but had no words to express themselves. Finally, God knew she’d been through enough, and gently carried her home to her eternal rest where she could be reunited with her precious parents and Podi Aiya.
I thank God for the life of my dear friend. She was one special person who will never be forgotten – happy birthday Diga!
Her life was a blessing, her memory a treasure; she is loved beyond words and missed beyond measure.
Sandra Cadiramen
He was a role model to all of us
D. ATTANAYAKE
There is a Chinese proverb:
‘The loftiest towers rise from the ground.
Great men who reached the Himalayan heights were not attained by sudden flight;
While their companions slept; they toiled hard upwards in the night.’
D. Attanayake, Deputy General Manager, Bank of Ceylon, was a gentleman par excellence, who served the Bank for nearly four decades with distinction. With hard work he reached the top.
He worked tirelessly, day and night, in the early years from the 1950’s at its first branch, City Office Bank of Ceylon, Bristol Street, Fort. While working, he passed the Bachelor of Arts (London). He was excellent in Sinhala, English, Pali and Sanskrit and a superb conversationalist and script writer. A man of honesty and integrity, he was a role model to all of us.
When SWRD Bandaranaike’s government took office, the Bank of Ceylon, which was a totally English-oriented bank, changed its policy to conduct its affairs in the official languages, Sinhala and Tamil. To implement this policy, the Bank opened a new Department titled ‘Sinhala Department’ at York Street and selected the most suitable banker – Dhanaratne Attanayake as Manager.
Mr Attanayake was a visionary – a fine humanitarian and disciplinarian, with a warm heart. He was also a walking encyclopaedia.
Mr Attanayake hailed from the beautiful hills of Kundasale, Kandy. Born on November 6, 1927, he studied under great educationists such as S.A. Wijethillake, and L.H. Mettananda at Dharmaraja College, Kandy. As an outstanding student, he won many prizes at the annual prizegiving.
After passing the Senior School Certificate examination in the English medium, he joined the Bank of Ceylon in the late 1950s.
On December 2 1969, I joined the Sinhala Department of Bank of Ceylon. In 1981, I became Public Relations Manager. I consider Mr Attanayake as my guide and philosopher.
In the late 1970s, he served as the Manager Anuradhapura Branch. This down to earth humble banker played a prominent role in granting loans and helping the farmers of Anuradhapura, Polonnaruwa and Trincomalee. They called him “Attanayake Deviyo”.
Later he was promoted as an Assistant General Manager. After a distinguished career, he retired from the Bank of Ceylon as a Senior Deputy General Manager in 1987.
Despite all his busy schedule he never neglected his family. He helped his relations and as a dutiful husband, he looked after his wife Daisy with much care. She was a tower of strength to him and they were a charming, united family.
His elder daughter Jayantha, son-in-law Rohan and granddaughter Janani looked after Mr and Mrs Attanayake with much care. Of their four sons Senarath, Gunaranjan and Mahasen are residing abroad, while Ananda looked after Mr Attanayake devotedly during his illness. Sadly he too passed away on November 19, 2019.
Dear Sir, may you attain the Supreme Bliss of Nibbana.
Premasara Epasinghe
Thank you for the Kandy memories
Ahmed Marikar
After all his high flown sojourns, Ahmed the Humble, had to come home to Kandy as Kandy he said was ‘home sweet home’ to him, amongst us. We bullied him no end. Being the additional secretary to the No. 1 at that time, you could have advised him better, we would say.
The appreciation, the accolades, Ahmed Marikar had ample suffixes, but we enjoyed the simple side of the man in the modest library of the City Mission in Kandy.
There is silence now but back then when there was no ‘silence’ board, we made good use of the lapse. Very often, we could hear the harassed voice of the librarian Rosemary ‘Mr Marikar, you have come to borrow books, why don’t you just do that?’
We being close friends, my eldest sister would take me to spend the day at his home – the Mansion where I was first introduced to his library, that magnificent collection that he so jealously guarded. I was in awe. He would not lend us a single book though we wore ourselves hoarse trying to persuade him to do so. He was witty, though we suffered deciphering his jokes.
Ahmed was so learned. The lucky ones were his students at the Peradeniya University. The wealth of knowledge I gained discussing the classics with him is immeasurable though he was up on a high tension wire and me down on the 100 watts. One day he wanted to debate a law point. It was just the day after I completed my LLB. I wondered how he got to know of it.
We knew each other’s families well. He would regale our clique at the library how my mother was fair and beautiful and I was not a patch of the Jaffna lady! He bullied us and we in turn bullied him. It was always light banter.
Not to be locked down, he wouldn’t break his routine of a daily morning walk round the lake. He would be seen returning from his walk laden with bananas and thambili when we were just coming down for our morning coffee. He was a health fanatic. Suddenly there was a change. Ahmed was not to be seen. Not on his morning walk round the lake. Pity he would not talk to anyone. We respected his wish but I regretted later not having forced him to talk.
We miss you Ahmed. Thank you for the good times at the cosy library.
Ahmed, you richly deserved the peace of God.
Jeyam Ratnam
Adieu dear friend
Sirima Bowatte
Good bye Sirima dear friend.
Everyone will remember your good deeds
Though you are no more
Always willing to lend a helping hand
Not seeking glory through public charity
Your son celebrated your 70th birthday with a treat to friends
Seemed a great age, but you were lucky to live another decade
We spent a sleepless night once, when you went into a coma.
But soon you came bouncing back to help others for many years
Many good times we shared
Many good things you did
Will stay in our memory
All the good deeds you have earned
Will take you to a better life
Fondly remembered by friends
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