APPRECIATIONS
View(s):You were always there, through good times and bad
Dr. Dayasiri Thenuwara
’Feeling lost in a sea of sadness’’ to quote my brother Daya, when he faced the recent cruel blow that fate meted out to him, and then, mercifully, surprisingly, suddenly, rescued him from leaving us, lost and bewildered in a sea of sadness.
In England, his successful involvement with Transcendental Meditation belied his humorous, music-loving personality who surrounded himself with beautiful creativity in souvenirs collected from all over the world from the extensive travels that he indulged in with his family
As a young man, his love of sports, water sports in particular – swimming, water-polo, rowing—captaining his Medical College team to victory at a prestigious Colombo Rowing Club competition, brought much pride and joy to our father who was a great believer in sports.
Daya’s love of wildlife from his schooldays influenced me as a result of the books he brought home from the Wildlife Society library. As a young doctor working in the villages of Sri Lanka he took to bird-watching and in England, this led to his learning to make exquisite drawings of birds in action.
When Daya migrated to England with his wife and three little sons, we – his mother, brother and two sisters thought that we had lost our Doctor-in-the-House. But Daya, your inherent sense of duty went far beyond the call of duty. On your holidays back with us in Sri Lanka, you took time off to check on our health problems, made appointments with specialists and even accompanied us to see them. These holidays also brought us an avalanche of gifts each time—generosity and hospitality. Hospitality, which enabled us to have holidays in England, enriching our lives.
Every time any one of us had a health crisis, you were with us in a flash, for our mother, our late sister and for me. Our mother’s last illness brought you straight from the airport to her hospital bedside—this enabled you to speak to her and she had the joy and comfort of knowing that you had come once again, this time, just in time.
On a very personal note, Daya, you enabled me to re-visit ‘your beloved England’ as you teasingly put it, by filling endless visa forms, so many times, sponsoring my visits to England, enabling me to wander through the gardens of Kent and the museums and art galleries of London. Words are inadequate to say ‘thank you’ for all this and much more that has been left unsaid. You will reap what you have sowed and we shall surely all meet again…..
Dear Daya, goodbye for now….with much love
Your sister Chandra (Chandramani Thenuwara)
My soulmate and brother is no more
RALPH MORTIER
My precious brother Ralpho you are no longer here to share anything with.
I miss you more than words can say.
As kids all we had was each other but our lives seem to have been continuously torn apart.
First it was Dadda, you, our sister Juenne and me as the eldest.
When I was just 11 and he was only 35, our precious Dadda was taken away by a cruel motorcycle accident. Our lives in shambles we clung to each other. It was not long however before we were torn apart yet again. We never knew where our mother was, Dadda was mother and father rolled into one.
When he went away Juenne and I were sent to Convent orphanages but happily you went to St. Aloysius College, Galle. When we grew up and got our lives back together, you and I always had a special bond, that certain togetherness that only a brother and sister share.
You married Cynthia, had two kids, worked at Barney Raymond’s where Billy and you specialized in terrorizing people. Oh, the tricks you both played.
Parting time came again when you left for the UK with your family.
Juenne and her family left for Australia and I was here alone. No distance, could separate that bond of love and care till God called you home and I am now left here alone because on the last day of the same month, God took Juenne also home.
Rest in peace, precious brother of my heart, till we meet on that beautiful shore.
Your Titta (Karen)
A Maths wizard, exemplary teacher and much more
R. MAHATHANTHILA
R. Mahathanthila, my daughter Avanthi’s father-in-law passed away at the age of 91 years after rendering a great service to the people of Mathugama as a Mathematics teacher and bringing up an illustrious family of three sons.
He was a self-made man who was born at Deeyakaduwa, a remote village in the Kalutara district. I was able to get to know him intimately over the last three to four years and was amazed to hear how he, being one of 13 siblings achieved all his aims on his own. He was the last in his family of brothers and sisters to bid farewell last week.
He told me that he started schooling as an adolescent in the village next to his due to the non-availability of a school in his own village. He passed his SSC in the Sinhala medium at Mathugama, moved to a temple in Gampaha where one of his brothers was a chief priest, studied Maths and English on his own and became a teacher, later further qualifying as a trained teacher from the Government Training Colleges in Maharagama and Katukurunda. He ended his career as a Senior Teacher.
He married Nanda Arandara who was also a teacher. They had three sons, all who became graduates, two from the University of Moratuwa and one from the University of Colombo. Being Government Servants, with no additional income, it was no easy task to finance and maintain three sons in university at the same time.
He told me that this compelled him to retire prematurely and give tuition in Mathematics at his own home at a very nominal fee at that time. With the increase in the number of students both girls and boys, he became a highly sought after teacher not only in Mathugama where he was living but also in the Kalutara district. He maintained his principles and standards; each class was only one and a half hours and students were also limited to around 100. He was able to understand each and every student and even predict their home situation from their behaviour in the class.
Although he was retired, he never conducted any classes during weekday mornings – he was adamant that attending school was compulsory. However, he stopped giving tuition once his children graduated since the main purpose was to finance his three sons’ education during their campus days until they were able to find suitable employment. He wound up his classes in a very systematic way where he first stopped new enrolments and then continued his classes until all his students from different age groups had sat for their Ordinary Level exams. This is a classic example of the calibre of teacher he was.
He had the ability to grasp any teaching technique in Mathematics and be able to teach that to students. He was able to do revision with his (and my) 11-year-old grandson with whom he was living. Although my grandson was studying an international curriculum, he was able to help him at his exams until his demise which even amazed his teachers at school. He could prove all theorems in Mathematics until his last days.
Apart from his mastery of mathematics he loved folklore, reading novels and poetry with a very critical mind. With his fantastic memory even in his last days he used to quote from literature and recite poems from the books he had read decades ago. He was well versed in geography and had long discussions about geography with his grandson. He was also very versatile in handwork which made him, his (and my) smallest granddaughter’s hero. Whenever she had any handwork to be done at home from either Montessori, school or extra classes, Seeya as he was fondly called, came to her rescue.
His fantastic memory amazed not only me but many others who associated him during his time in Colombo which was nearly three years since the passing away of his beloved wife in 2019. He had golden qualities and valued our Sinhala-Buddhist customs, traditions and ethics. I had very long and interesting conversations with him on a variety of subjects – ancient, current and modern.
His loss will be deeply felt by his immediate family and I too will miss his friendly company.
May he attain the supreme bliss of Nibbana.
Maj. Gen. (Rtd) A.M.U. Seneviratne
An angel gets her wings
Tharanganie Weerasena
An amputee, that’s how I feel – a part of me is no more. It’s been three months but it’s still hard to accept that you are no longer physically with us. Tharanganie Weerasena or ‘Babie’, as most of us knew her, was an angel lent to us by God to show us what ‘good’ is, and I guess he needed her back.
I miss our daily chats Babie, you were my inner voice. Now I have to stop and think ‘what would Babie have said’ and it’s hard. Not hearing your reassuring voice every morning is very difficult.
There are so many little things you said and did every day that made such a positive impact on so many people. I love the way you walked in to any room and took charge. I remember when I had to undergo an MRI and how scared I was. You walked into the room and in under five minutes you were on first name terms with the technician and the nurse. Thanks to you, they made me so calm and made the process bearable. You had that in-built way of connecting with people. Everyone could see that you had that special spark in you.
I love that you saw the world in black and white, there was no grey. It was either right or wrong. No one else I know was able to live life on those terms. You did.
I love that you were like a kid when it came to birthdays and gift giving. No birthday could pass without a gift and a card. Not many people bother with cards these days, but you did, and it needed to be a card that meant what you felt. The gift needed to be chosen carefully considering what the person liked etc. This was an enormous exercise over Christmas as you gave more gifts than Santa Claus; I have seen how 40 shirts were bought for the boys that brought medicines to the pharmacy and each one carefully selected to suit the receiver. I would say ‘oh just get 15 1/2 inch short sleeve, that will fit most’ and you would not be happy with that at all. Every shirt was handpicked considering the person. So that took a very, very long shopping trip.
And like clockwork you would come over to our house over Christmas and never forget to bring a gift for our maid. These little things you did made such an impact on people. Everyone who met you couldn’t help but love you because you took the time to be nice to people.
People ask ‘how are you?’ as a conversation starter, but not you; if you asked someone how they are, you meant it and most people would very quickly see how genuine you were and confide in you. You may not have been a doctor on paper, but you singlehandedly saved a lot of lives.
I love that you always saw the good in people; even if they only had very little of it.
I love that you took care of so many people. I know that 15 kids got their book lists bought by you every year. I know how much you did for the kids at the orphanage. I don’t know of anyone else who would go abroad on holiday and come back with 35 little suits for the kids at an orphanage. Your reason was ‘as soon as I saw the cute clothes I knew they’d look so cute on the kids at the home’. I’ve sat with you at the pharmacy and watched how you gave free medicines to people; those who asked for two days of medication on a prescription of five days, because they couldn’t afford it; or people who asked about the price of drugs and said they would come back later as they couldn’t afford it; or more recently how you helped people who couldn’t afford to stock up before a lockdown. All of them benefited from the kindness of your heart that knew no limits.
The signs were all there. You had to be an angel. No one else would have done the things you did. We just took for granted that you’d always be there. While I’m grateful to God for letting me be a part of your life, I wish I had more time with you Babie. I know you were meant for greater things and you are now with Jesus.
To my friend, my sister. Words cannot express how much I miss you, but I know you are always with me. That beaming smile will stay with me forever.
Svethlana Gankande
I just want to say ‘Amma I love you’
Swarna Fernando
Amma
It is almost six years since you departed,
If you were with us today, it would have been your 90th birthday.
The memories are still strong and I wish you were here today.
I can’t see nor touch you so I know you’re not here
but I’ve still got the past and in my heart you’re still near.
Before I go to sleep at night,
I miss my usual call asking you how was your day
Feeling so sad and calling you Amma,
I must say I needed someone, cause of all my hurt and fear
If I could see you one last time you know what I would do -
Release all my emotions and say Amma, I love you!
Sanjaya Fernando
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