Appreciations
View(s):We are left with a void that can never be filled
Suhendran Thalayasingam
On February 22, Suhendran Thalayasingam, Chairman, Mithuruwela passed away, felled by a stroke. We at Mithuruwela are dismayed and stricken that someone so active, so full of life was taken away from us so unexpectedly.
Suhendran Thalaysingam or Thalay as he was popularly known was a loyal Old Boy of Hartley College, Jaffna, an Attorney-at-law and a Justice of the Peace. He was a founder member of Mithuruwela -the Cancer Support Network, the organization co-founded by his wife Mala to help support cancer patients, care-givers and all those affected by cancer. Thalay and Mala were two pillars that Mithuruwela depended on and their home at 70/1 Peterson Lane was the nerve centre for all Mithuruwela’s meetings and other activities.Thalay’s knowledge of and vast experience in legal matters were of immense help whenever Mithuruwela had to sort out issues.
Thalay drew inspiration and strength from his deep faith in his religion and was the Warden to the Vicar at St Paul’s, Milagiriya. At his funeral the Vicar paid a moving tribute to Thalay saying that he was a human being with humane qualities- a rare commodity in today’s world, and spoke of Thalay’s even-handed methods of dealing with controversial issues. In his inimitable way, Thalay would lay out all the pros and cons of each aspect so that the best choice of response could be made. As a member of Mithuruwela’s Management Committee, he displayed this capacity even at Mithuruwela meetings helping us to reach practical decisions that would serve the organisation well. If the suggestions he made were rejected, Thalay who never bore malice or resentment would accept it with grace.
Thalay was above all someone who was at his happiest when dealing with people and dealing out hospitality to whoever came into his home. During Mithuruwela’s outreach programmes, our cancer awareness sessions, Thalay would make his speech as Chairman and then slip into the audience to talk to vulnerable members of the audience. He was particularly happy when Mithuruwela visited villages in the North and East where he could exercise his command of Tamil. People would cluster around him, sometimes listening sombrely but more often convulsed with laughter as Thalay regaled them with his stories.
Thalay was generous, hospitable, kind. His world revolved around his family-Mala, Prashan and Anjali and he would beam with pride and happiness when talking about his grandchildren Nour and Gabriel. His was a larger than life personality- genial, warm-hearted, ever ready to support family and friends. And as Mithuruwela prepares to face a future without Thalay who had been with us from the very beginning, who led Mithuruwela as an exuberant, ever-welcoming Chairman, we are grievously aware that we are left with a void that can never be filled.
Ryhana Raheem
On behalf of all at Mithuruwela-the Cancer Support Network
Tribute to a distinguished alumni of Science Faculty, Peradeniya
W.M.D. Wijekoon
The Science Faculty of the University of Peradeniya lost one of its distinguished alumni – W.M.D. Wijekoon, an old boy of Dharmaraja College who entered the University of Ceylon, Peradeniya, in October 1968.
Donald read for a Special degree in Chemistry and graduated in 1972. After a short stint at the Department of Chemistry at the University of Peradeniya and later at the CISIR, he proceeded to Sweden for postgraduate research training at the University of Uppsala in Stockholm specializing in the chemistry of insect pheromones and other odiferous compounds.
Subsequently he proceeded to the University of Nevada in Reno, USA and obtained his PhD in Synthesis, Stereo Chemistry and Circular Dichroism of Polycystic ketones, thiones and selones.
From October 1983 to December 1985 he worked as a post-doctoral research affiliate at Stanford University in the USA.
Donald joined the University of Nevada as a senior research associate on January 1986 and carried out research in phototherapy in the treatment of jaundice in infants. He was thoroughly involved in the study of Stereo chemicals which led to him being recruited by the Department of Health Services in the state of California as a chemist until his retirement in 2015.
He was a dedicated scientist with many academic publications in chemistry journals where he discussed his skills in developing analytical methods.
His primary work as a chemist in public health involved the measurement of chemicals at very low levels to see the qualiy of air, water and food.
I understand that at the Department of Health Services in Los Angeles he shared his technical knowledge readily with his staff and his colleagues appreciated him for this quality as well as his supervisory ability. One of his colleagues delivering a funeral oration emphasised his skills as the Quality Assurance Officer and Health and Safety Officer of his laboratory in navigating the administrative hurdles with maturity and efficiency.
As a batchmate at Peradeniya he had a wonderful undergraduate life enjoying social visits and trips where under high spirits he used to mingle with us singing old melodies. Whenever he visited Sri Lanka he used to meet our batchmates and visit Peradeniya where he went down memory lane enjoying the beautiful campsus.
Donald was sick over the last few years of his life but would communicate by email with us and entertained friends from Sri Lanka at his San Francisco home. His devoted wife Manel looked after him during his illness. He could not join us in October 2018 for our golden jubilee. However we are grateful for the contribution he made towards the project by the Science batch to donate display boards to the Faculty of Science at the university.
We send our sincere condolences to his wife Manel, his son Christopher and daughter-in-law Amy and hope he will attain the supreme bliss of Nirvana
C.W. Jayasekera
(on behalf of batchmates at the University of Peradeniya)
Thank you Thathi for being mine
Ray De Silva
A year ago today, I lost you; my father, provider, protector, comforter and friend. You died and my life crumbled before my eyes.
I wanted to write a tribute capturing the essence of you, and I realized if I shared a glimpse into my grieving journey (the real one instead of the “I’m happy & okay” façade I project outwardly to the world) and it helps even one person, who is going through the same (or will) not feel alone, then that would be the biggest tribute to the kind, generous, helpful nature that made Ray De Silva the great human being and gentleman that he was. So here goes…
You spent five long months, undergoing chemotherapy, putting up the bravest fight against Leukemia and you beat it… to then a few months later be admitted to hospital for a fever and then die in a matter of days. I can’t think of anything more tragic, cruel or unfair. As I type the factual details of your loss, the all too familiar tears and hard lump in my throat return.
A year later, though the initial shock and the emotional fog of your death has subsided – the reality that you are dead – and the weight of that reality – hasn’t fully made its impact on my consciousness. It hits me in waves – unbearable, overwhelming waves – and I’ve lived the last year in a partially surreal existence. My life as I knew it and who I was/am is demarcated clearly by your death – DR & AR: During Ray & After Ray.
A part of me keeps hoping (praying), I will wake up one day and this awful nightmare will be over. I will walk down the stairs and you are there sipping your tea and reading the newspaper. Or my phone will ring and it will be you calling to ask me what shall we have for dinner? Or I’ll come home from work one day and you will ask me to sit and type out your mails and texts for you again… A 100 small day to day interactions that I took for granted and would now give everything to have just one more day of.
Living without you and grieving your death has been the longest, hardest and most humbling experience – and there is definitely no silver lining and no finish line in sight. Grief has become a close friend, who visits me whenever it wants and that sense of emptiness and missing-ness is relentless and heartbreaking. When I strip away the comfort that I have gotten from other people or my faith – it has been a solitary, lonely experience. One that another will not understand until it happens to them.
This is what death and loss look like, or what it has been for me.
The only two thoughts that have comforted me are that you are not suffering anymore and that I was the luckiest person to have had you as my father. Any amount of grief I have to bear is worth having had you for the time I had you….
It is the greatest privilege and honour of my life to be Ray De Silva’s daughter …. Thank you thathi for being mine…. I love and miss you every single second of every single day.
Himali
She became a friend for life!
Malini Naganathan
She was a “light” to us.
Our friendship which spanned almost seven decades began when we were classmates. She was a good student but what impressed us was her love and concern for everyone in the class. She was lively and cheerful and helped us also to keep our spirits up. We were touched by her – she became a friend for life!
Our school days ended. She entered the University of Peradeniya but left a year later to go abroad. Sometime after her return, she married Nage, an accountant, a wonderful personality who shared her love and concern for others. They had a beautiful home, open to family and friends. She kept in touch with her friends, and at least once a year, on her birthday generally, she invited them all to a “get-together”, her AGM as she called it.
Their home was also open to the poorest of the poor. On one occasion, some 70 children from the Poorwarama, Kirillapone area, were invited to spend the day at their home. A variety of goodies all prepared by her were served for lunch and tea with her best cutlery and crockery and games lined up for them to play. Surely it must have been “heaven on earth” for the little folks!
Years later, she became a follower of Sathya Sai Baba. She visited Puttaparthi in India for worship, attended religious services here and held a few at her home. She had a strong faith and complete trust when Nage fell victim to a serious illness which was believed to have no cure. She did not break down but trusted in the Lord, read about the ailment, sought advice on it and did what she thought was best for him. The love and care with which she nursed him singlehandedly initially, was amazing.
When Nage eventually passed away, the parting was hard for her to take. She turned to the sick and the needy. Together with her Sai associates, she visited the Apeksha Hospital, Maharagama, and the Sai Cancer Home, Hanwella, from time to time and reached out to the patients there. It was amusing to know that when she visited the Hanwella home she wore as many bangles and chains as she could to give away to the female patients there who went crazy when they saw these beauties on her.
At home, in the apartment complex (where she later lived), she was moved by the plight of the minor staff employed there – janitors, technicians, security guards and the like. She went out of her way to help them in their struggle for survival by whatever means – food, clothing, medicine, school books or any other.Her ailments under control until then, showed up. Gradually, she was confined to her home, later to her bed. Even then she thought of others worse off than her and gave thanks for all her blessings – in particular her comfy bed and nice room, her “darling” sister, her “angels” (nieces) who were around her and her two most wonderful carers!
She was a rare personality indeed and has now gone home to her reward.
Malini has left a deep void in our hearts and as we believe so much in God Almighty, we too look forward to a day when we shall meet her in His presence where there will be no more parting and no more tears.
Classmates
He was loved by all
Kingsley Samaratunga
Air Vice Marshal Kingsley Samaratunga’s sudden death in February last year was a great loss to his family, relatives and the community. He was a lovable, jolly character who devoted much of his time and wealth on the country. He was much loved by his nephews and nieces and was ever willing to help them solve their teenage problems. He was a brother to our family and not an in-law.
He earned so much respect, as a man who put everyone else before him, helping the needy whenever he identified their difficulties. He was a man who never held grudges.
His hobbies were rearing dogs and caring for animals. He was also a music lover and loved to travel anywhere at anytime, He accomplished much in his career holding the post of Director Engineering in the Sri Lanka Air Force. He also raised three amazing children – all graduates, a great achievement as a father.
He is sadly missed by his loving wife Nelum, daughter Virangi, sons Charith and Harin and also his extended family members and friends.
May he attain the supreme bliss of Nirvana.
Delsy Lankage (Sister in-law)