5th Column

Aiyo Sirisena,

It was four weeks ago that I last wrote to you and what a time it has been since then. Everyone has been running around in circles, blaming you for starting all these shenanigans. In the meantime, we have achieved what must surely be a world record–going from having two Prime Ministers to none!

Aiyo Sirisena, most politicians abide by the rule that any publicity is better than no publicity. In the last month, you have got an enormous amount of publicity that you could have only dreamed of but I feel that in this instance at least, no publicity would have been much better than the publicity you got.

I also heard that sales of the book about you, ‘Janaadhipathi Thaaththa’, have increased greatly in the last month. Still, did you know that people are circulating extracts that are supposedly from that book that are not very flattering? These extracts are fake but the problem is, most people think they are real!

Anyway, Aiyo Sirisena, why I wanted to write to you now is to inquire about a few statements that you have made in the past few weeks. Although nothing you say or do can surprise us now, what you have said raises serious questions, so much so that some people are really questioning your sanity.

For instance, you were lamenting that the Green Man has destroyed the great Green party of the Senanayakes, Jayewardenes and Premadasas. The Green Man has certainly presided over the decline of the Greens, but haven’t you done the same to the great Blue party built up by the Bandaranaikes?

You also called the Green Man a ‘karumaya’ or a curse, urging us to get rid of him.  Most people will feel that you are being ungrateful to the man who got you to the top. Others will say that he is indeed a ‘karumaya’ only because he is responsible for getting you–and, therefore, us–to where we are today.

You even said you will not appoint the Green Man as PM ever again–even if all 225 MPs support him. Aiyo Sirisena, there is this document called the ‘Constitution’ which you should start reading, instead of going to bed at 10 o’clock after reading a few pages from ‘Janaadhipathi Thaaththa’.

If you read the Constitution which, by the way, you have taken an oath to uphold, it says you should appoint as PM, the person who has the confidence of Parliament. In saying you will never appoint the Green Man you are violating the Constitution, Aiyo Sirisena–though that is nothing new to you now.

I agree that there is divided opinion about whether the Green Man should return as PM. He hasn’t done himself any favours in the past three years, what with bond scams occurring under his watch. This is his fourth stint as PM and he hasn’t led the Greens to a decisive victory in twenty-five years.

Still, many feel he must be allowed to return as PM even for a day. Or else, it sets a precedent where the President can hire and fire PMs at will, disregarding who the people voted for. We have now seen how absolute power corrupts absolutely, especially when it is in the hands of petty, insecure leaders.

I was also surprised to hear you say, referring to the recent order from the Court of Appeal preventing Mahinda maama and his ministers from functioning, that it was like a priest in a village temple doing what the mahanayake priests should do. Clearly, you didn’t agree with what the Court of Appeal did.

You may be doing as you please these days, Aiyo Sirisena, but you must mind your language. Ranjan has been accused of contempt of court and what you said can amount to that too–but, as Satellite will tell you if you are still on talking terms with her, presidential immunity lasts only till you leave office.

You–and Mahinda maama, for that matter–have been telling us that what you have done is for the greater good of the country and that you are acting in the best democratic traditions by trying to hold a general election, probably because you feel the timing is best for you–and not so good for the Greens.

The courts–or the ‘mahanayakes’ as you like to call them–are deciding whether that is the case but if having elections to reflect the will of the people is the best option, I can tell you what else you should do: along with a general election, why don’t you also have a presidential election, Aiyo Sirisena?

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS – You had said that if you are pushed to your limits, you will resign and return to farming in Polonnaruwa. That is a plan that will put the nation out of its misery and it won’t be different to what you are doing now–getting yourself bathed in mud. Think about it seriously, will you, Aiyo Sirisena?