Appreciations
View(s):How can one not grieve the loss of such a friend
NIRMALADEVI RAMACHANDRAN
Our first lady Commissioner General of Inland Revenue, in her own pragmatic matter-of-fact way, decided to leave us on September 21, maintaining dignity of life by saying ‘no, thank-you’ to modern medical technology, with her Medical Professor son Dr. Sudarshan standing steadfastly beside her to dutifully carry out her every request, including a very private farewell.
Together we had discussed a dignified departure, and Nimo, you faced it first, so bravely, providing an indelible inspiration for all of us.
From a tribute by a colleague we learn that when you retired “she held a record of the Revenue Collection being 20% of GDP-the highest ever for the last one and a half decades of the 20th Century.’’
We, her friends, never knew that—that was our friend Nimo. However, I do remember requesting her to reconsider her decision to retire, because ‘’our country needs you, and we need to boast about you!’’ This was an officer who had politely refused a request from Higher Authority, and when the expected repercussions did not happen, respected the Higher Authority for evermore. This is the only instance that I happen to know—strict confidentiality with respect to her office work was the norm.
Values of justice, honesty, and fair-play and bravely facing the risk of possible adverse repercussions—that was Nirmala Ramachandran.
One chapter in her first book (one of three),Hindu Heritage titled Unacceptable Practices alarmed me so much on her behalf, that I called her with a reproach saying ‘’was this really necessary, these are ancient practices, why provoke people?’’—her curt response was ‘’what is wrong is WRONG and must be stated’’ in no uncertain terms, I wish to add.
Once a phone call inviting me to join her and her husband Dr. Rama on a houseboat which they had booked on Dal-Lake in Srinagar got me an unforgettable response—-when I said ‘’is it safe to go to Kashmir?” her realistic response was ‘’is any place more dangerous than Colombo?’’(this was 2008)! Of course I went— there was no longer a reason not to do so — we had an enchanting holiday seeing the newly established Tulip-fields as well.
‘’and a youth said, Speak to us of friendship
and He answered saying
Your friend is your needs answered………..
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the ‘nay’ in your own mind, nor do you withhold the ‘ay’ friend you grieve not
For that which you love most maybe clearer in his absence, as the mountain for the climber is clearer from the plain’’ -The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
When one parts from a friend as defined in this insightful poem, how can one not grieve for oneself?—to be able to talk without fear or favour about all manner of topics, including very sensitive ones, almost every Sunday morning, conversations enriched with my friend’s widely read background and flavoured with her Wodehousian sense of humour……left with a void that cannot be filled, how can one not grieve…….
Our schoolgirl dreams of travelling this wondrous world together came true and for that, we were constantly thankful, even though our travelling days were over….as Dr. Rama once declared, it is worthwhile being born simply in order to travel.
Your spiritual background and mine both assure us that we shall meet again—a friendship so close and meaningful could not have happened by chance.
Therefore dear Nimo- this is ‘au revoir’ but not ‘Goodbye’.
Chandramani Thenuwara
He served others without expecting anything in return
Bharathi Sri Kottegoda
“We owe our happy married life to your father,” explained a grieving couple at my father’s funeral in 1972. Apparently they had come to my father’s grocery shop in Pettah and confided that they were about to separate because they did not have children. My father had immediately taken them to a physician who had been able to put matters right for the couple. Not only was their marriage saved, they ended up having children and “lived happily every after.” If this was my father’s only act of kindness to strangers, it may not deserve mention. However, this incident epitomises my father: a helpful and generous friend to all.
His name was Bharathi Sri Kottegoda – affectionately known as “Kotte” among his friends and business associates.
At the youthful age of 22, Kotte’s father passed away. Being the eldest in a family of seven, he undertook – along with his mother – the arduous task of raising four brothers and two sisters, who were attending school at that time. Co-opting the help of his uncle Dr. M. V. P. Pieris (ambidextrous physician considered by the British to be the best physician “East of the Suez”at that time; later he served as Sri Lanka’s High Commissioner to the UK, and Minister of Trade & Commerce, in Premier Dudley Senanayake’s cabinet) to the task, he carried out his filial responsibilities without reserve, with total commitment, love, and composure – and expecting nothing in return, a rarity in any age. The success of his undertaking can be gauged by what his siblings achieved: S. R. Kottegoda became Professor and Dean of the Medical College, N. T. Kottegoda went on to become professor of engineering at the University of Birmingham, UK, and M. B. Kottegoda was a sought-after doctor of medicine in Kurunegala.
In keeping with the traditions of his times, Kotte settled his two younger sisters well: one sister (Rupa) marriedthe firebrand Leftist politician Robert Gunawardena, and the younger sister (Ratna) married businessman-turned-politician Albert De Silva, who defeated former Prime Minister W. Dahanayake and won the Galle seat in 1977. Even after his siblings grew up and had families of their own, Kotte caringly managed their family estates – visiting the village regularly and looking after the caretakers in many ways.
Kotte was big hearted and generous (a dhaana-pathi, person who gives alms) to all – not only to his siblings and nuclear family. He gave generously to those in need, the clergy, and even the wealthy. In other words, his generosity knew no bounds. For Vesak Poya, he would go to his village temple Tebuwana Granthakara Pirivena and give breakfast (heel daane) to the monks, and laity, observing sil. On the same day, in the evening, he would go to Gonapola, my mother’s village, and offer evening tea (gilanpasa) to monks, and laity, observing sil. He was ever willing to offer help to monks and lay persons alike.
Kotte inherited his family grocery shop, which was begun by his father on October 10, 1910 – at 153, 5th Cross Street, Pettah. In 1948, Kotte was able to get the agency from Elephant House to sell aerated waters – which he did at 148, 5th Cross Street, Pettah – in front of the Main Bus Stand. At the time, Elephant House was owned by the British.
In the early 1950s, Kotte was a member of the Food Importers Association. As I recall, he was the only Sinhalese businessman who had the privilege to import any food item in bulk: things not available or produced in Sri Lanka at that time.
In his shops, Kotte employed 17 people. He did not just pay salaries; in times of need, he helped the families of his employees to the best of his ability. Needless to say he was much loved by his people.
Kotte was the son of K. D. Leoris Appuhamy and Clara Pieris Wijesinghe. After completing his Junior School Certificate (JSC) at Nalanda College, Kotte joined his father’s business – the grocery shop in Pettah. He married Kusuma Abeysinghe, daughter of Gonapola Post Master Don Pedris Abeysinghe. They had four children: Garumani, Mahilal, Rohan, and Hemal. He is survived by these four offspring, nine grandchildren, and nine great grand children.
Bharathi Sri Kottegoda passed away at the age of 54. On this his 100th birth anniversary, it is fitting to remember him for his admirable qualities, the life he lived, and the lives he touched. The Dalai Lama once observed, “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.” Bharathi Sri Kottegoda was a man who did just that: he served others, and did not expect anything in return. This is the moral of his life.
May he achieve the supreme bliss of Nirvana.
Garumani Kottegoda Gunasekera
Thank you for the beautiful memories
Major Raja L.A. de Silva
For me the 24th of October is a dreadful day
My beloved husband whom I knew for 52 years
Suddenly left me for ever on that sad day
Life has not been the same since you left me 9 years ago
You were loving , sincere and kind to me and everyone else
All who knew you respect you to this day
There is not a day that I do not think of you
Thank you for the beautiful memories you left behind
May you attain the Supreme Bliss of Nirvana
Your ever loving wife
A larger than life person who was gone too soon from our lives
MOHAN LALVANI
Mohan Lalvani, the youngest of the famous Lalvani family comprising seven sisters and four brothers passed away peacefully on August 8.
Mohan was a natural-born salesperson and handled the day-to-day marketing and sales of the famous store down Main Street, Pettah, Lalvani Brothers. After a long stint with the family business he joined the Maharaja Organisation as a Director.
He was a large than life personality, a trusted and dependable friend for people from all walks of life both in Sri Lanka and overseas.
As a loving husband, father and father-in-law, he played his part to the very end. I’m sure every daughter would want a father like him. Nothing was impossible when it came to his family and he provided everything we wanted. He was a strict disciplinarian, an honest man of his word which was appreciated by like-minded people.
He adored his four-legged grand-kid Isabelle and spent long hours with her every day.
With his birthday on October 21 and Christmas around the corner we fondly remember and miss him for his various involvements in the preparations and drive to get things done.
He was the life of a party, and along with his hundreds of friends and associates he lived his life to the fullest – there was never a dull moment. He was sought after for his various jokes and quotes and his sense of humour will long echo at the 80 Club of Colombo.
It would be impossible to include everything on paper of someone larger than life as Mohan Lalvani. Everyone who associated with him closely will fondly remember and treasure those lovely times spent with him over the years.
Goodbye daddy, hubby, grandpa, father-in-law, brother and uncle, until we see you again on the other side.
Like a sunlight fading in the clear blue sky, you were gone too soon.
Loving daughter Sharon Lalvani