5th Column

My dear doctors in the GMOA,
I thought of writing to you to congratulate you on your campaign of trying to get your children into the top schools in the country by sending a group of doctors to the Ministry of Education to stage a protest at the Ministry and stay there overnight. I think it was a very clever move!

It reminded me of that Palitha chap from Kalutara who went to the office of a school Principal and hung himself from a ceiling fan to get children admitted to that school. I am not sure whether he did, but you must be delighted to know that people now think the same about the GMOA and Palitha!

I am also surprised why that chap in charge of Education, young Akila, that chap who is an expert on HIV, didn’t grant all your demands and send you all home. That would have endeared him to the GMOA and we would have all lived happily ever after. Instead, he decided to say ‘no’ to you.

Then, the Green Man also enters the discussion and makes his own views known to all by saying he does not think of any profession as being ‘special’. That is the entire issue here, don’t you think, dear doctors of the GMOA- that you consider yourself ‘special’, being over and above everybody else?

You argue that you want your children admitted to the most sought after schools in the country as you are transferred every four years and you can’t show that you are living in one area for a period of time. But so are so many other government officers. So, obviously you consider yourself very ‘special’!

Other people like judges, police officers, administrative officers and teachers all get transferred from their stations every few years if they are serving the government. We haven’t heard of them storming the Education Ministry demanding the best schools for their children- so you must be ‘special’!

You went to medical school because you were ‘special’ enough to beat everyone in the ‘A’ Level rat race. You got a free education that would have otherwise cost millions of rupees because you were ‘special’. So, it makes sense to preserve those ‘special’ genes by giving top schools to your children!

You are against private medical schools saying medical education should be reserved for the best of the best, those like you who get the best results at the ‘A’ levels. Yet, you want your children admitted to top schools without even passing the Grade 5 scholarship exam. Obviously, you are ‘special’!

You want to scrap private medical schools because you say they ‘sell’ medical degrees for a few million rupees. You say medical education and the practice of medicine deals with human lives and should therefore not be dealt with as a ‘business’. We appreciate that, dear doctors of the GMOA.

At the same time though, we see many of your doctors engaging in private practice from dusk to dawn, seeing scores of patients every day, spending only a few minutes per patient. To most people, that too looks like a business, dear doctors, but you say it is not, so obviously you are very ‘special’!

I dare say that if you are that ‘special’ – and I am not for a moment doubting that you are – you should be asking for more privileges from the government. Why stop at demanding a school for your child? If you are that ‘special’ shouldn’t the government give you much more than a mere school?

Here are a few suggestions: storm the Ministry of Transport demanding ‘special’ seats in buses and trains; storm the Ministry of Finance demanding ‘special’ loans with no interest to pay; storm the Ministry of Justice demanding that your cases be heard early. I am sure you can think of some more!

And, if you are the best brains in the country – and again, I am not for a moment doubting that you are – you could also storm the Parliament and ask for a ‘special’ quota there where, like the National List, we can also have a GMOA List. I am sure your brains are as ‘special’ as the ones in that place already!

You are sure to like that because, right now, politicians are the only ‘special’ people in this country and they get all the privileges which no else gets. In return though, I think the rest of us should also get the right to vote you out, for example, every six years or so. That would only be fair, don’t you think?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: There was a time when doctors in this country worked and behaved as ‘normal’ human beings and the rest of the public treated them like Gods. Now that you are ‘special’ and behave like Gods anyway, the public might be starting to treat you differently: not like Gods, but a different species, which can however be spelt with the letters of the same word!