5th Column

My Dear Palitha Thevarapperuma,
I thought I should write to you to congratulate you on your latest achievement. No, it is not being appointed a deputy minister a few weeks ago by Maithri but being able to get a child admitted to a school in Kalutara, when his application for admission had been rejected by the school earlier.

I know many people criticise you for what you did but with your straightforward and direct approach you have shown the entire country that we have been dealing with school admissions the wrong way over the years and that it can be done in a much simpler manner, if only they follow what you did.

All these years, school admissions have been a major issue for almost every Sri Lankan family. Everyone wants their child admitted to a ‘good’ school such as Royal or Visakha. They engage in various deceptions, falsifying addresses and electoral registers and bribing principals too.

Even the government got it wrong all these years. They devised a ‘quota’ system, with a per centage of admissions allocated to children of ‘old boys’ and ‘old girls’, another per centage to those residing in the area and another quota for public servants and the armed forces. Ah, how complicated it all is!

Instead, you have shown us how it should be done: walk in to the principal’s office with a few television cameras in tow and tell the principal that you wouldn’t leave until the child is admitted. The poor principal — unless he wants to share his office with you — has no choice but to admit the child!
Principals sometimes try to be too smart and try to stick to the letter of the law and point out that such an admission would be highly irregular. That is when you remind them that you can get very angry and that when you are angry you have even assaulted the Prime Minister. That usually does the trick.

Palitha, I was just thinking how fortunate we are as a nation to be blessed with someone like you in each and every government. Remember, not so long ago, when Mahinda maama was in office, we had Mervyn who went around tying people to trees for defying his orders. And now, we have you.

We should not be surprised at your heroics at the school in Kalutara because this is not the first time we are hearing about you. In fact, ever since you entered national politics, you have been making headlines though some might say it is not for the right reasons. Now they have been proved wrong.

First, there was the time when you chained yourself to a truck and began a fast unto death to protest a hospital being closed down. You got your way and the hospital was re-opened. Maybe you were encouraged by that because you were soon known as a rebel, challenging the Green Man’s leadership.

Shortly afterwards, when your son was denied nominations for a local election you even attempted to manhandle the Green Man at a party meeting — though others prevented you from doing so. This is probably why you now proudly go about saying that you have even “assaulted the Prime Minister”.

Then there was the instance, shortly after Maithri won his big election and the era of ‘yahapaalanaya’ dawned when you attacked a Blue party office near your hometown. Then, Maithri said he will deal with you and he obviously thought the best way of doing so is to appoint you as a deputy minister!

With such a distinguished record behind you, I am sure you are destined for greater things in your life, Palitha. In fact, I think you could make a whole new career out of admitting children to schools. Then, you would be the next best thing to C.W.W. Kannangara in ensuring free education in this country.

Remember the fuss we had about a child who was asked to leave his school in Kuliyapitiya? And remember the difficulty Akila Viraj had in trying to find a school for him until the ‘best school of all’ in Kandy accepted him? Ah, if only they asked for your help, you could have settled that in minutes!

So, Palitha, although a few people may criticise you every now and then, I don’t think you should take too much notice of them. We, the people, got rid of Mahinda maama and voted Maithri in because we wanted ‘yahapaalanaya’. And, where would ‘yahapaalanaya’ be today, without people like you?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: I heard that Akila Viraj has said there would be an inquiry to determine whether you had done anything wrong in threatening that Principal and admitting that child to the school. Now, don’t you take any notice of that poor chap. Being the Minister of Education, he couldn’t get that boy from Kuliyapitiya admitted to a school, so I think he is now worried that Maithri will appoint you to his job after seeing your unique talents in that regard. Knowing Maithri, I dare say it is quite possible too!