5th Column

My dear Green Man,
I thought I must write to you because you seem to be the target of a lot of people these days: There is Comrade Vasu scolding you in unparliamentary language in Parliament and now they say some of the Blues have submitted a motion of no-confidence against you.

Anyway, Green Man, after many long years in the opposition, I think your luck has changed. After nearly eleven years, you were appointed Prime Minister once again. Since then, everything seemed to be happening to your advantage even though it may appear as if everyone is against you.

First they called you a ‘pin’ Prime Minister and said that you had no mandate to be where you are. Of course they forgot that Maithri clearly stated during his campaign that if he won, you would be the PM and people voted for him knowing that, so I don’t think it was fair to call you a ‘pin’ PM.

Then, when Comrade Vasu called you ugly names, some people justified it such as Bandula, the Dee Jay who is singing a different tune and even Carlo who, like, Comrade Vasu, seems to be losing his marbles in his old age. Anyway, now most people know Vasu as Vasudeva P. Nanayakkara!

So, Green Man, I think even this motion of no-confidence may go in your favour because if it is passed, then Maithri might have no choice but to dissolve Parliament and call for an election immediately. And isn’t that what you have been asking for, all this time?

Of course, he could also appoint Nimal as the PM. Now, one will argue that he is the best man for the job, but if Ratnasiri could do it and Di Moo could do it, surely he can do it too. But the stumbling block is, I don’t think Maithri would trust Nimal as much as he trusts you!

But let me tell you, Green Man, though you have held your new job for less than six months, already people are starting to complain about some things that have happened under your watch. With an election around the corner and only about four dozen MPs in Parliament, you need to be more careful.

At first, things were going quite smoothly and you and Maithri appeared to be working quite well — with a little help every now and then from Satellite, of course. Everyone was quite happy that the country was on its way to ‘yahapaalanaya’ which they were promised when they cast their votes.

We breathed a huge sigh of relief when the prices of essential items came down. We were also happy to see people who were accused of corruption and abuse of power being taken to courts — even though some of them, like Wimal sahodaraya are screaming that it is all a political witch hunt.

We appreciated your efforts to have the 19th Amendment passed — even though Mahinda maama’s lackeys in Parliament tried their best to stop that from happening. Thanks to their efforts, what we got was a diluted 19th Amendment but still, it was better than what he had before that.

Now though, people are beginning to doubt the sincerity of your team. First, there was that bond issue with the Governor of the Big Bank. I know you have repeatedly said that no wrong was done, Green Man, but on this occasion, most people believe that even so, something was not quite right.

Soon after that we heard that the boss at Customs has resigned. Is it a case of those who are supposed to resign not resigning and those who are not supposed to resign, resigning? Well, that is what most people seem to think, anyway.

Then, we haven’t seen you display the same enthusiasm that you had for the 19th Amendment, to push through the 20th Amendment. Remember, that too was an election promise and all these excuses about it taking too much time are not very convincing, Green Man.

Some say this is because you are worried about losing the elections — and your job — if elections were to be held under a new system but surely you shouldn’t be too worried about that especially when the Blues are bickering among themselves and not heeding to Maithri’s advice!

Pardon me if I am wrong, Green Man, but if elections are held under the old electorate system and if Mahinda maama contests separately, he would split the Blue votes right down the middle and the Greens would be clear winners. So, why are you so afraid of the 20th Amendment?

Anyway, it seems that it is your misfortune to become PM under Presidents who are either from the Blue party or are a stand-in choice like Dearly Beloved was. But this is your third time on the job and we hope that at least this time, you will have the good fortune to last the distance.

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Do you remember the time when you were at the butt end of jokes which said that Mahinda maama wanted you as Leader of the Opposition forever? Well, he is a grateful man because he seems to be repaying you the favours you did him when he was boss by dividing the Blues so badly that you should have it easy at the next election!