My father was hardly ever wrong | Ranjan Daniel

“No means No” was his famous saying.  “I did it my way” by Frank Sinatra was his favourite song. No amount of crying or explaining would make him change his mind. His decisions, once made, remained unchanged despite anything. He was in simple terms ‘as solid as a rock’. There were times when my darling mother, brother and I would wonder how he could be so ‘fixed’ and at times ‘hard hearted’. But, in every circumstance the three of us soon realised that my father, Ranjan Daniel was hardly ever wrong.

He was a man truly blessed by God with profound wisdom and foresight. The benefits that we received from his discipline and unswerving ways cannot be explained in words. I will make it personal. It is suffice to say that I live a life of total contentment surrounded by love, attention, care and every good thing in life because of God’s grace and the absolute wisdom and determination of my father to never let me go until he was convinced I would have the best life once I left the cover of his protection.

Being the youngest of two in our family of four, along with being a girl, I spent a lot of time at home with Thathi and Ammi, and have countless memories, all of which have made me into who I am today.

I can recall his meticulously arranged office table, with just a polished wooden pencil holder, holding three pencils. He never stacked his table with files or papers even though he was the Human Resources Director of a multinational and had many files and papers to maintain. Everything was stored in an orderly manner in drawers. He always told me that a messy table, to him, displayed a messy mind. As a result of this when I started work as a teacher, I always made sure my classroom was absolutely clutter free and things were neat and tidy at the beginning and end of each day.

I remember his well-polished pure leather brown briefcase. It had the most distinctly amazing fragrance as he would polish it ever so often and I would help him to do so. Inside would be a few files, neatly placed, with one well-sharpened pencil along with his Parker pen which he used for signing. On the very few days that he would bring work home, I would most often sit with him fascinated at the way he would go through job applications using his ‘pencil’.

I always had my eye on his stationery as he and I shared a common passion for all types of stationery and we would spend hours inside bookshops and the stationery section of any departmental store selecting different types of pens and markers. However, he would never let me have a single pencil or eraser that he brought home from work. He always told me that it was office property and that we must never even take a ‘pin’ that does not belong to us. Young as I was at that time, I knew that I was learning valuable lessons in life from my father. Not just by his words but by the honest way which he lived life.

He made sure that he brought my brother up like a ‘real boy’ in order that he would end up a ‘real man’ like the amazing man he has become today. Things were not given easily to Aiya. He had to work hard for them. On the other hand, he gave me everything and more. But, that is as far as I was spoilt by him. I could never leave home without his permission or being chaperoned and my chaperone always had to be him. The few occasions I managed to be out, my curfew was 5 p.m. This was so even after the age of 25. It was his view that it was not appropriate for his daughter to be out of home after 5 p.m. Going through this was not at all easy, but when I look back now I cannot thank him enough. I maintained my dignity and my innocence in life, because of him. What more can a daughter ask for in a father?

My mother, Thathi simply loved. I know every aspect of their beautiful love story as related to me by Ammi. For 29 years I saw it lived out in front of me, day in day out. He never missed out on Valentine’s Day and got more and more romantic as the years went by. He never failed to buy her a single plastic rose which she would lovingly place (plastic wrapping and all) on the refrigerator until the following year. I can recall how he would call her many times a day, from work. Then he would come home and call her name many times from their bedroom. He always wanted her somewhere close and I would listen from my room and think ‘he simply cannot live without her’. 

After his retirement, Thathi became ever more dependent on Ammi and they truly became inseparable. It is no wonder then that at the very end when he was heavily sedated, he opened his eyes and raised his head for the very last time, when Ammi called out to him; he did it just to look into the eyes of his loving, devoted wife for the very last time. He did it just for her.
Like any family we have had our ups and downs.

I am about to become a parent very soon and realise that even though we expect them to be, no parent is ever perfect. But I wish to recall nothing negative. In my mind, my father deserves all the respect and more that can be given to him for the incredible husband and father he was to our family. Through his God fearing ways, he led us by example and the loss in our lives without him can only be filled with the absolute certainty that he is resting in the loving arms of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, whose love for him is greater than our own.

 Thank you Jesus for your favour on the life of our precious Thathi.

Anoushka Nalliah

Advantage doctor: Between the court and clinic | Dr. Bernard Stanley Weerakoon

Dr. Bernard Stanley Weerakoon, born on August 17, 1932, passed away in Britain on September 22, after an illustrious medical career. He was the eldest son of my father K.B. Weerakoon, Headquarters Inspector of the Kandy Police, and Swarnalatha Weerakoon nee Bowela, my mother.

Loku Aiya was brought up by our paternal uncle, P.B.A. Weerakoon, Katugastota St. Anthony’s College’s legendary mathematics teacher and strict disciplinarian. Aiya, being an all-rounder, didn’t have much trouble in achieving the high standards set for him. Nicknamed “mahattayage kola,” Aiya was the Senior Prefect of the College and captained the cricket team. As expected of him, he gained entry to the Medical College. Among his batch mates were well known doctors such as Dr. Oliver Peris, Dr. Kuda Wijeratne, Dr. Kamalika Abeyratne, Dr. Bandu Edussuriya, Dr. Upali Atureliya and Dr. Rodney Dassanayake to name a few. Some of them were “affectionately” referred to by their dean as the “worst behaved bunch ever to enter the Medical Faculty”.

Following his internship, Aiya opened his own clinic in Kurunegala and, within a short period, built a large practice. And along with his cousins, Disampathi and Malin, he also opened clinics in Pothuhera and Mawathagama. Being a great club man, Aiya’s favourite haunts after work were the two tennis clubs — the Kurunegala Public Services Club and the Planters’ Club. Once he rushed to his clinic to attend to a serious patient while he was in the middle of a game and returned to resume the game with apologies all round. His patients knew this and sometimes even sought treatment at the clubs!

A devoted family man, Aiya, around 1974, decided that it was time to take his family to a new environment. He forsook a wide and a lucrative practice and took wing to Britain with his young family. He found a place at the Bootham & Nabourn Hospital, London as a house officer and had the good fortune to be commissioned as a medical officer of the Lancashire Regiment of the British Army. He once told me that he was a great favourite of the officers and the other ranks as he always stood by them and certified them as being completely sober whenever the need arose! Amidst these activities, he found time to study for Membership of the Royal College of Physicians and be enrolled as a member in the field of Psychiatry.

It was when he was posted as a Senior Registrar that he met Anne who was a Senior Nursing Sister at the same Hospital. Their only child Rebecca is a medical consultant in Edinburgh and is married to Shehan Samaranayake, another consultant.
His older children Lilanjani, husband Dinesh and son Dilshan, and Ayosha and Kushan who were all well-educated in England, are happily settled down in the States and Britain. Although Aiya suffered from a lifelong medical condition, it did not interfere with his interests.

He eagerly looked forward to his annual visits to Sri Lanka. During his stay in Sri Lanka, he met his old friends living throughout the country. He especially enjoyed the sing-alongs when he got his brothers, sisters, in-laws, nieces and nephews to gather round him and belted-out with gusto his rich repertoire of old Sinhala songs — which I, as his sister will miss very much! Generous to a fault, many members of our family have benefitted from his largesse.

Loku Aiya led a full life. We all miss him very much. May his journey in Samsara be short and may he find eternal happiness in Nirvana.

Indramala Wanasundera

A teacher who gave more than knowledge | Lillian Gunawardena

Lillian Gunawardena, our beloved English teacher of grades 7 and 8 at Visakha Vidyalaya, passed away at the age of 82 in Sydney, Australia on October 2.  We will always remember her with much love and gratitude as a teacher who made our English classes most memorable and fun. I am sure all her students will recall how she would sit on the teacher’s table in front of us reciting and explaining her favourite poem ‘Lochinvar’, bringing to life every character in the poem.

I am especially grateful to her for spotting me, a child who had never been formally trained in elocution, and coaching me to become the gold medallist at an all-Island recitation competition held for ‘Siyawasa’ celebrations in 1968/1969. I still recall the days she would take me to her home after school, and devote her precious time to train me to recite ‘Lochinvar’ while her five dear children, quite amused, would sit around and watch me. You gave me strength and confidence Miss to dream big and face life without fear of failure.

Ms. Gunawardena had so much inner strength and courage to stand up against all odds, to say and do the right thing by her beloved students. She was a strict disciplinarian, at times controversial, but yet always approachable and, like a mother, warm at heart. After her retirement she enriched her life as well as of others less fortunate with acts of kindness and giving. She conducted free English classes for needy children in the neighbourhood and opened a pre-school in her residence.

She was a teacher who cared enough to be generous with her time and resources to make others better educated and successful in life. Ms. Gunawardena leaves behind five admirable children with equally beautiful qualities. They have excelled in medicine, engineering, science and accountancy. They were the most supportive and caring children who appreciated and treasured their mother deeply.

Dear Miss, I consider myself fortunate to have had a teacher like you. Thank you for giving so much of yourself….
May you attain the supreme bliss of Nirvana!

Dr. Chitranganie Perera

A tribute to my grand niece | Rukshanthi Waidyalankara

One day
Many years ago
You came close to me
Very quietly
While I was standing
With many others in the evening
At the bus halt
Waiting for buses
To take us home.
When you called me ‘mama’
I was surprised to see
A handsome young lady
Dressed in a white saree
With a matching blouse
And a bag strapped to the shoulder
Smiling at me tenderly.

Oh! My dearest dear
I knew who you were
My favourite grand niece
Who calls me ‘mama’
Instead of ‘Seeya’.

My dearest duwa
I admired you very much
And loved you like my own
For you cared for me so much.

You were a good teacher
Very much admired by your students
They loved you very much
Because you gave them your best.

Your friends and relatives
Liked and loved you very much
For you were always there
Whenever they needed help.

After a short conversation
To the utter surprise
Of all those who were there
You knelt before me
Touching my feet
With both your palms together
Blessed me with good health
And long life.
Saying goodbye mama
You walked away
Leaving the people near me
Spellbound by your good manners
That is hardly seen in modern times.

In my aging life
The memory of that day
Still clings to my mind
Bringing tears to my eyes.

I watched you with pride
Working so hard to achieve
A happy and successful life
In a world full of jealousy and hate

I was certain
In spite of all obstacles
You would succeed
And make us all proud,
But, unfortunately
Nature took its toll

By allowing a tumour
To grow in your brain
Destroying your hopes and dreams
And all our expectations.
The young and attractive lady
So full of talent
Lost her sparkle and shine
And lived on a bed
And in a wheel chair all the time
Physically and mentally inactive
Unable to eat or drink
Unless fed by her loving mother
Who devoted all her time
To take care of her.

I looked at your body
So young and smart
Beautifully dressed
And laid in a coffin.
I held my tears
With all my strength
Not to show anybody
How sad I was.

May you be spared
In your next birth
All the unhappiness

You faced in this life
May the Triple Gem
Bless you with good health
Wealth and long happy life.
Goodbye my dear duwa, Rukshanthi
May we meet again soon!

T.M. Ariyawansa Rodrigo