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Dayasiri and the opposition game plan
View(s):Mrs. Anumaana is worried about Sunil’s latest foray into politics. Sunil’s expressions of interest in a political career are nothing new. Up to now they have been undertaken under the kind patronage of Mrs. Aandupaksa. But this time around he says he wants to join the opposition Disunited National Party (DNP).
Mrs. Anumaana cannot for the life of her imagine why Sunil would want to join a party of losers such as the DNP. Many people nowadays are not even sure if it is a political party at all. Mrs. Anumaana’s neighbour for instance says the DNP is actually a ‘western-funded, finger-wagging NGO.’ She argues that ‘NGO’ stands for ‘Non Governmental Organisation,’ and the DNP is just that – it has settled for being ‘Non Governmental’ after losing 16 elections in a row, and shows no sign of wanting to alter that status for a long time to come. And nobody can deny it is an ‘organisation’. She says the DNP is in fact the government’s favourite NGO, because as long as it stays in business the government is safe and sound.
Sunil who has clearly been influenced by Mrs. Anumaana’s neighbour, argues that if the DNP is an NGO, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get a job there because NGOs pay people scads of money for doing nothing very much. The DNP has been suffering from a mass exodus of staff over the years and they are badly in need of new recruits, he says. This is partly because one of the contracts they have undertaken is to supply MPs to the government. The DNP’s method of doing this is to harass its own MPs to the point that they get so disgusted that in desperation, they cross over to the government.
Mrs. Aandupaksa says the government is delighted with Dayasiri, the DNP’s newest recruit for the government. She just can’t stop talking about the perfect timing of this move on the part of her boss who engineered the move with the North Western Provincial Council election around the corner. The popular and dynamic young Dayasiri can be depended upon to amass the highest number of preferential votes and make sure the government romps home to victory in the North Western Province, she says.
Sunil has a different theory though. He says driving Dayasiri out is a cunning ploy by the DNP to unleash chaos among ruling party members of the Kurunegala district, who are thoroughly miffed that they will be overlooked for the Chief Minister’s post. All the ambitious and energetic young MPs in the DNP (the few who are left) who have been in the habit of asking troublesome questions from the party leadership, may be deployed for this purpose, he suspects.
The next development will be that just like the five Panduwasnuwara Pradeshiya Sabha members who crossed over in a show of support for Dayasiri, large numbers of local government members will infiltrate government ranks along with other DNP MPs who defect. This will cause a backlash among the government’s Pradeshiya Sabha members that will be worse than the wrath of 3000 Moratuwa carpenters.
There will be an orgy of infighting amongst all the murderers, rapists, child molesters, cattle thieves and assorted thugs and criminals who largely form the membership of government controlled Pradeshiya Sabhas and Provincial Councils, Sunil explains. This will bring about such chaos that eventually the ruling party’s local government bodies as well as the Provincial Councils they control will collapse. Sunil has been convinced that this is the DNP game plan after watching a new TV program called “Crime watch, hevath Pradeshiya Sabha puwath.” Sunil supports his theory on the basis that the mission of any NGO worth the name is to hatch conspiracies to overthrow the government of the host country. Just ask Wimal and he’ll tell you all about it, he says.
Apart from the prospect of advancing these noble objectives, Sunil is looking forward to joining the NGO industry so that he can start wearing expensive brand-name track shoes, carry an impressive looking brief case and cruise around the city in a four wheel drive off-roader, preferably a ‘Land Rover.’ Also it is mandatory to carry a bottle of ‘Perrier’ mineral water at all times, he says. He claims the DNP being government’s favourite NGO will easily be able to fulfill all of his requirements. But for some inexplicable reason Mrs. Anumaana is not impressed.
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