Columns - 5th column

Seeking manape reaches dizzy heights

By Rypvanwinkle

My dear voter,

I thought I must write to you as you prepare to confront the umpteenth election in recent times on Thursday-although I know some of you may have already decided that you will not vote.

I feel that if you are a Blue voter you may think that victory is a foregone conclusion and therefore you should not vote. On the other hand, if you are a Green voter, you may think no matter what you do, the outcome is very predictable and therefore you should not take the trouble to vote.

Of course, if you are a Red voter I believe you would most probably vote anyway because you know that they need all the votes they can get, or else they would be in deep trouble just as much as the General they are supporting is in trouble right now.

Still, whatever colour you have chosen for this election, I think you should vote, even if you are election weary by now-because if you don’t, someone else will vote for you anyway!

I reckon you may also be one of those voters who are supposedly ‘floating’. Even then, I am sure you would have taken note of what all these prospective MPs have been telling us at great cost-through banners, cut-outs, posters and handbills.

Frankly, dear voter, I am astounded by the number of honest (‘avanka’), educated (‘ugath’), brave (‘edithara’) and clever (‘daksha’) contestants that we have on display on our walls. I am sure that, by the time the election is over and we have the new Parliament functioning, our country will be a paradise in next to no time with all these ‘avanka’, ‘edithara’, ‘ugath’ and ‘daksha’ people doing their bit for the country.

There are times when I just wonder why people don’t put up posters saying ‘sirasata pahara dun’ or ‘dengue bo karapu’ or ‘gas mila wedi karapu’! Now, if someone had the courage to put up a poster saying something really truthful like that, I would have readily given him my ‘manaape’ but I am yet to come across anyone like that!

Of course some of this publicity makes you confused at times. For instance, we have three people claiming credit for taking on the international community during the latter stages of the war: Rohitha says it was he who won the world over, Keheliya says it was he who silenced the Tigers and Mahinda says it was he who saved the country from being persecuted for war crimes. Luckily, they are not contesting from the same district, so we have some breathing space!

Then dear voter, I am certain you have by now heard about this request for a two-thirds majority. Now, as for me, I am all for giving them a two-thirds majority to make constitutional changes-if only they tell me what these changes are. I’ve been trying to find out and I have had very little luck so far!

Of course, Mahinda maama tells us that he wants to do away with the ‘manaapa’ system and I’m all for that, but apart from that they too seem to be in the dark as to what changes they have in store for us, and that is what makes me reluctant to commit myself to a two-thirds majority right now.

Then dear voter, if you have decided to vote for the Blues I’m sure you have another big decision to make: who would get your ‘manaape’? Just looking at the number of cut-outs Wimal alone has put up in the city, I’m not sure whether each cut-out will get him even fifty votes at least!

The Greens do not have such problems; they have much simpler problems to deal with, such as finding out whether their nomination lists have been tampered with and new names inserted. They do have a few good souls in their camp such as Uncle Ranil who has led the nation twice as Premier and the ‘gentleman’ Uncle Karu, but whether they are enough for the Greens to pull through is left to be seen.

Anyway dear voter, whatever happens and whoever wins, I do hope there will be no computer ‘jilmarts’ this time around. Someone was suggesting that we should have election monitors monitoring the whereabouts of the Elections Commissioner on election evening to ensure a free and fair election, but I am not so sure whether even that will be sufficient considering the number of election laws that have been breached up to now.

So dear voter, think about all these issues when you mark that all important cross on the ballot paper. And remember, whatever you do, this is the last chance you will be getting for the next half a dozen years to voice your opinion!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS-They say, dear voter, that every country gets the government it deserves and I have a feeling that will happen on Thursday. The real problem though, is that we might also get an Opposition that we don’t really deserve! Think about that too, before you vote…

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