Plus - Appreciation

Cheerful and full of ideas, he was a friend indeed

Shyamlal Rajapaksa

Shyam was a dear friend and I cannot begin to think of life without him. It is so hard to believe that someone as lovely, smiling and considerate as him is gone, especially when he was such an important and necessary part of our lives here in Tanzania. But I do have the fondest memories of the time spent with him (which almost always make me smile).

I don’t actually remember when I met Shyam properly for the first time at the Rwandan War Crimes Tribunal, but because he was so popular with everyone, I knew of him even in my early days at the Tribunal and recall seeing him walking down the corridors on his way to court wearing his black gown and white bib (with a pencil in his hand!), flashing that cheerful smile and always saying hello!

A few months later I met him more frequently at group dinners mostly at Twiga (the Sikh Club in Arusha), and he was always the easiest person to get along with – open, friendly and always with a sense of fun. That was Shyam. You could speak to him for under a minute about something entirely casual (including the quality of the curry at a restaurant) and feel so accepted as a friend. He always made people feel welcome, and put them at ease. Of course, the day I moved into an office on his floor, he was among my first visitors and came by to see me to make sure I was settling in alright.

It was such a privilege to be Shyam’s friend in so many ways. He used to come by our offices, almost every morning with that happy smile, just to say hello. There could not have been a better start to the work day than with that visit from Shyam. However bad the work day looked, or whatever troubles one had, it all vanished in his presence.

There were so many times when he would just listen to my problems, even if they were just ordinary and mundane issues. You could always count on him to come up with some solution to make things easy. If I had a cold he would prescribe steam inhalation, and keep reminding me about it if I had forgotten. If I did not know the way somewhere, he would offer to drive in front of my vehicle to show me the route. If my car needed to be fixed, he would come with me to the mechanic to help. He always had the time to help a friend.

I have never heard him say no to anyone when his help was sought. And even when the situation was out of his hands and there was little anyone could do to set it right, he would tell you a funny story (often involving him) to make you laugh and distract you.

As a friend, Shyam was never judgmental of anyone. I admire him for his incredible ability to make friends across every possible barrier – nationality, gender, social strata. I used to joke that going with him anywhere was like being part of a celebrity’s entourage – he knew so many people at the Tribunal and in town, and was so well liked by everyone.

I remember him saying that he just loved to go to the main vegetable market on some weekends with his housemaid Joyce because it was so vibrant and throbbing with the energy and pulse of people. Just as he was!

We always used to say that he needed people and friends around him. But I think it was much more the reality that people whom he came into contact with, however brief and his friends needed him. He lit up this place and our lives with his sparkling smile, happy attitude and generosity of spirit.

There were so many people to whom he had shown such immense kindness and generosity – and life will really never be the same without him.

Shyam always had a fantastic sense of humour, and could find something funny and wonderful in any situation. There were so many wonderful admirable qualities in Shyam – none more than his ability to just live life to the fullest. There are so many of us who spend so much time complaining about the state of things or letting the daily stress get to us. But Shyam was so refreshing and unique that way.

I am sure like the rest of us, he had hard times at work and otherwise. But he never seemed to let it get to him. We almost never saw that side of him. Before an American thanksgiving dinner at Kirsten’s house last year, while most people said they were thankful for very specific things that had happened to them the previous year, Shyam said that he was thankful for generally everything. And that was what made him so special. He loved his life and lived it with such passion and zest.

Very few could remain unaffected by his positive and infectious attitude towards almost everything.
Although there are days when I still can't quite believe that he is no longer here with us, I’d like to remember him as he was, full of ideas and plans, ever helpful, wonderfully cheerful and always smiling. He had a remarkable gift – that of making other people happy, and I’ll always feel privileged to have had him as my friend.

Priyadarshini Narayanan, Appeals Counsel – UNICTR – Arusha, Tanzania

 
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