We looked at the Proactive behaviour, which is a completely different type or even the opposite of Reactive behaviour. It's a change we need to have in order to be highly effective in our personal and professional life.

You can usually hear the difference between Proactive and Reactive people by the type of language they use. Reactive language usually sounds like this:

"That's me. That's just the way I am.' What they're really saying is, I'm not responsible for the way I act. I can't change. I was predetermined to be this way. 'If my boss wasn't such a person, things would be different. 'What they're really saying is, my boss is the cause of all my problems, not me.

'Thanks a lot. You just ruined my day'. What they're really saying is, I'm not in control of my own moods. You are. 'If only I attended a different school, had better friends, made more money, lived in a different flat…..then I'd be happy'.

What they're really saying is, I'm not in control of my own happiness, 'things' are. I must have things to be happy. Notice that Reactive language takes the power away from you and gives it to something or someone else. When you're reactive it's like giving someone else the remote control to your life saying, 'Here, change my mood anytime you wish'. Proactive language, on the other hand, puts the remote control back into your own hands. You are then free to choose which channel you want to be on.

If you look at your language or someone else's language you can easily say whether they are Reactive or Proactive. And even if you are Reactive by the conscious choice of your language you may be able to become a Proactive person.

By being Reactive you are giving permission to some one else to mess up with your life, like Gandhi puts in " No one can take your self respect if you don't give it to them" , or in other words no one can make you inferior without your permission. In other words between the stimulus and response man has the freedom to choose and in those choices lie the happiness of all of us.

Next week we will explore more of the Proactive behaviour and how to internalize it.