The pursuit of happiness

The 'bitter truths' of life are things that some hear about, a lucky few are forewarned about and most are left to learn about through experience. I unfortunately have, for the most part of my life fallen into the latter category. I've learnt that sometimes the best of friends can make the worst of enemies. I've learnt that a trust once broken can never truly be repaired. I've learnt that life doesn't always seem fair, but given time, things usually balance out. I've learnt that you can never please everyone and that you shouldn't waste your whole life trying to. I've learnt that once you let laziness in, it will consume you. I've learnt that age doesn't determine your maturity. I've learnt that you shouldn't place your happiness in other people's hands. I've learnt that great expectations, more often than not, lead to great disappointment...

This is not to sound bitter or jaded, but rather, to speak my mind on a few of the 'not-so-great' experiences that seem to have recurred the most number of times in my life. Before I go any further, I'd like to say that I've been blessed with a relatively good life with an abundance of amazing memories! Of late though, I seem to be dwelling more on past memories than present day relationships, especially since a solid, sincere friendship seems to be quite hard to come by these days.

How come everything in our childhood was so cut and dry? It was either, good or bad, right or wrong, this way or that. There was no such concept as "grey," no "righter than" or "not as bad as" or "make the best of." These are essentially adult notions, supposedly meant to help us get through the day with as little hassle as possible. Is it right? Your guess is as good as mine.

As we grow older, we tend to rely too heavily on others and how they feel. We're happy as long as our family and close friends are happy and make us feel wanted. We're hurt when someone close to us, falls out with us. We're angry when someone tells us there's something we should be angry about. We're at peace when nobody around us gives us any strife. When did we start being so dependent on others' feelings that we find it almost impossible to emote on our own? It is only when we discover happiness within ourselves, that we can find a true and lasting happiness.

If we keep waiting for others to make us happy…trust you me, you will never be happy. You will spend your entire life in the pursuit of happiness, without ever finding it!

When it comes to disappointment, human beings seem to be drawn to it, 'like a moth to a flame'! We love to put people up on pedestals and build high hopes around them, knowing very well that they will never be able to live up to these expectations ALL THE TIME!!! Just like us, they too our human and will slip up now and then. We need to understand that. Unfortunately though, we find it extremely difficult to digest this reality and so, wind up getting hurt, disheartened and depressed over something that could very easily have been avoided.

The human mind is such an intricate and powerful tool…if only we'd care to use it more often! What's your take?