Incorrigible though I be, invincible I pose in your hour of need!

By Rypvanwinkle

Mahinda maama was furious. Mervyn was getting out of hand and causing him so many problems-as if he hadn’t enough problems to deal with already. He thought he must get rid of Mervyn, so he summoned him to break the bad news… “I say, Mervyn, this time you have gone too far…”

“Eyi sir, ehema kiyanne, I thought they went too far this time…”
“I say, do you realise what you have done?”
“What, sir, I only tried to teach these ‘maadhyakaarayo’ a lesson…”
“But, Mervyn, those are our own ‘maadhyakaarayo’…”
“That is exactly what I am saying, sir…”

“What do you mean, Mervyn?”
“Sir, if they are our ‘maadhyakaarayo’, shouldn’t they be carrying our speeches…”
“But Mervyn, you can’t go bashing up people just because they don’t carry your speeches; sometime they don’t even carry my speeches…”

“But sir, they hit me…”
“Yes, we all saw that, Mervyn…”
“Sir, do you know what it means to shed the blood of a descendant of King Dutugemunu? It must be one of the great sins, sir ”
“So, what do you plan to do about it?”
“Sir, I wish I could teach those fellows a lesson but it was a bit difficult with all those chaps screaming at me…”
“Mervyn, I think I have to let you go now…”

“OK, sir, I will meet you at the ministers’ meeting…”
“No, Mervyn, that is not what I meant…”
“Oh, sir, so there is something I can do for you…”
“Yes…”

“OK sir, you know I will do anything for you, sir…”
“Then, Mervyn, I want you to resign…”
“Why, sir? I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t criticise you in Parliament and I didn’t vote against the budget, sir…”
“No, Mervyn, people are asking why I am not taking any action about you…”
“Of course you have, sir…”

“Why, what have I done? Remind me…”
“Why, sir, you have appointed me from the National List and then you have made me a minister although I would have preferred if it was a cabinet post rather than a non-cabinet post…”

“No, Mervyn, after what you did last week people are asking why I am not taking any action against you…”
“So what do you propose to do, sir?”
“I want you to resign both as an MP and as a Minister, Mervyn…”
“OK sir, but…”
“Yes, what is the problem, Mervyn?”

“If I resign, who will threaten and make sure that all our MPs vote with us at all times, sir?”
“Hmm, that’s true...”
“And sir, if I resign, who will be available to readily sacrifice their seat in the House if another brother needs it, sir?”
“Hmm, that’s true...”

“And sir, if I resign, who will abuse all our opponents in the best language possible, sir?”
“Hmm, that’s true...”
“And sir, if I resign, who will conduct elections in the future, in a way that they will benefit all of us, sir?”
“Hmm, that’s true...”

“And sir, if I resign, who will organise demonstrations against anyone whenever we want that type of event staged, sir?”
“Hmm, that’s true...”
“But still sir, if you want me to resign, I will sir…”
“I say, Mervyn, I will think about it and let you know. We will see if people will forget this little incident. Our people do, you know…”
“OK sir, thank you, sir…”