The Sunday Times 5th Column

I thought I must write to you because you seem to be in the news so much these days, even more so than your other illustrious 'wansa' sahodaraya, Weeray.

Of course, there would be many who would say that you are in the news for all the wrong reasons but as the not so young Anura will happily tell you, the only thing worse than being in the news is not being in the news at all!

Anyway, Comrade Somay, the question that baffles us all is what happened in just two weeks to upset Mahinda maama's applecart. There you were, all smiles and embracing him and everyone thought we would soon have your sahodarayas in the cabinet looking after the usual subjects of 'dheevara' or 'sanskruthika katayuthu'…

Then, while he was away in New York with half of his cabinet, half of his parliament and half of his household, you were berating him publicly saying that if he doesn't toe the line, he too would have to go home. Tough talk indeed, from a party that could manage only a handful of votes in the recent local government elections, but it must have surely got the ever smiling Mahinda maama angry because we saw quite a few reactions from the Blue camp, with that chap Maithripala even calling you and your party a 'bambuwa'! I dare say the comparison was valid too when you were claiming credit for the victories of the Armed Forces, the same forces which your party killed and maimed some seventeen years ago…

Then, there was Wimal sahodaraya who as usual could be relied on to add spice to any kind of situation. We didn't quite fathom why he was asked to deliver a lecture at the National Literary Festival but then, we also never imagined he would bungle on something as simple as who wrote 'The Old Man and the Sea'. Of course this was the same Wimal who took Ranil to task for not knowing the origins of the word 'Pas Dun Rata' and now Wimal himself has to eat his own words…

Then, Somay, we hear that splits and cross-overs which were never heard of in your camp are now about to become a reality. If the rumours that we hear are true, your onetime presidential candidate Nandana sahodaraya is ready and willing to parachute to the blue camp with maybe just a minor ministerial portfolio as a reward. Now, if that happens, Somay, your days of ridiculing Ranil for Greens deserting him will also be over!

But, Somay, just when we thought we had heard it all, now we hear that you are talking to the Greens. Now, we did think that Mahinda maama was talking to the Greens just to let you know that if you didn't join him, he would get the Greens to join him, but this makes the situation even weirder. Just for the record, the Blues are talking to the Greens, The Greens are talking to the Reds and the Reds are talking to the Blues, and so we the ordinary folk of this country will surely be marooned in the not too distant future, when all these talks collapse in one big heap!

So, Somay, it looks as if even your luck is running out. All you need now is a general election to drive the nail into your party's coffin and don't be too surprised if Mahinda maama opts for just that!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha.

PS- I once heard that Satellite, that much maligned soul, said that 'politics' was her 'family business'. Now we know that politics is certainly not your family business because that is something else, isn't it?