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By
D. C. Ranatunga
Meeting
Ajahn Brahmavamso during his visit to Sri Lanka last year was an
enriching experience. What a charming personality! His enchanting
smile, his simplicity, his persuasive tone, his convincing mode
of communication – I shall never forget these features.
Having received his book ‘Opening The Door Of Your Heart’,
recently, I found myself reading it many times over. It's so well
written. It is a collection of what he calls “Buddhist Tales
of Happiness” – stories he has collected over 30 years
as a monk living in the forest tradition of Theravada Buddhism.
“Life is a series of interwoven stories, not a set of concepts.
Ideas are generalisations, always some distance from the truth.
A story, with all its array of meanings and richness of detail,
is recognisably much closer to real life. That is why we relate
more easily to stories than to abstract theories. We love a good
yarn.” This is how he introduces the writings.
The 230-page book contains a little over a hundred stories. They
have been categorised into several sections – Perfection and
Guilt, Love and Commitment, Fear and Pain and so on. None of the
stories are very long. All of them are interesting, and each one
makes you think. That's how he teaches you the Dhamma.
Here is a typical example, the story titled ‘The Idiot’.
“Someone calls you an idiot. Then you start thinking. ‘How
can they call me an idiot? They've got no right to call me an idiot!
How rude to call me an idiot! I'll get back at them for calling
me an idiot.’ And you suddenly realise that you have just
let them call you an idiot another four times. Every time you remember
what they said, you allow them to call you an idiot. Therein lies
the problem. If someone calls you an idiot and you immediately let
it go, then it doesn't bother you. There is the solution. Why allow
other people to control your inner happiness?”
Talking of fear, Ven. Brahm relates how he tackled the fear of public
speaking: “I was told that one of the greatest fears people
have is speaking in public. I have to speak a lot in public, in
temples and at conferences, at marriages and funerals, on radio
and even on live television.
“I remember one occasion, when five minutes before I was to
give a public talk, fear overwhelmed me. I had no idea what I was
going to say. About three hundred people were sitting in the hall
expecting to be inspired. I began thinking: ‘What if I can't
think of anything to say? What if I say the wrong thing? What if
I make a fool of myself?’
“All fear begins with the thought ‘what if’ and
continues with something disastrous. I was predicting the future
and with negativity. I was being stupid. I knew I was being stupid;
I knew all the theory, but it wasn't working. Fear kept rolling
in. I was in trouble. That evening I developed a trick, what we
call in monk-speak ‘a skilful means,’ which helped me
overcame my fear, and which has worked ever since. I decided that
it didn't matter if my audience enjoyed the talk or not, as long
as I enjoyed my talk.
“Now, whenever I give a talk, I have fun. I enjoy myself.
I tell funny stories, often at my own expense, and laugh at them
with the audience. I never prepare my talks. I prepare my heart
and mind instead.”
Ven Brahm compares himself to a dustbin, saying that part of his
job is listening to others' problems. “Monks are always good
value for money, because they never charge anything. Often when
I hear the complex, sticky mess that some people get themselves
into, my sympathy for them makes me depressed as well. To help a
person out of a pit, I must sometimes enter the pit myself to reach
for their hand, but I always remember to bring the ladder. My counselling
work leaves no echoes, because of the way I was trained.
“Ajan Cha, my teacher in Thailand, said that monks must be
dustbins. Monks have to sit in their monastery, listen to people's
problems and accept all their rubbish. Marital problems, difficulties
with teenage children, rows with relations, financial problems –
we hear the lot. I don't know why. What does a celibate monk know
of marital problems? We left the world to get away from all that
rubbish. But out of compassion we sit and listen, share our peace
and receive all the rubbish.
“That was an extra, essential piece of advice that Ajahn Chah
would give. He told us to be like a dustbin with an ‘It's
such an interesting hole in the bottom!’ attitude. We were
to receive all the rubbish, but not to keep any. Therefore an effective
friend or counsellor is like a dustbin with no bottom, and is never
too full to listen to another problem.”
Ajahn Brahm tells us a simple formula for making decisions. “Usually
we try to get someone else to make difficult decisions for us. That
way, if it goes wrong, we've got someone to blame. Some of my friends
try to trick me into making decisions for them, but I won't. All
I do is show how they can make wise decisions by themselves. When
we come to the crossroad, and we are unsure what direction to take,
we should pull over to the side, have a break and wait for a bus.
Soon, when we are not expecting it, a bus arrives. On the front
of the public bus is a sign in big bold letters indicating where
the bus is going. If that destination suits you, then take that
bus. If not, wait. There's always another bus behind.
“In other words, when we have to make a decision and are unsure
what that decision should be, we need to pull over to the side,
have a break and wait. Soon, when we are not expecting it, a solution
will come. Every solution has its own destination. If that destination
suits us, then we take that solution. If not, we wait. There is
always another solution coming behind. That's how I make my decisions.”
Ven. Brahm has the perfect mix of advice, humour, practical approach
and guidance in his stories. Just as one could listen to him for
hours, once you get the book into your hands, you will not put it
down until you have read the last page.
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