Mirror Magazine

Mirror Magazine

When love beckons...
So, yet another Valentine’s Day is coming up, and you’re feeling... nervous? excited? annoyed? Take our quiz by Smriti Daniel, and find out where you stand

We know we’re being sadistic; we acknowledge that freely (so there’s no need to rip this page to shreds), and yes we’re still going to do it. It is the glorious month of February (a.k.a. the month of loooove), and we’re going to add to your suffering with yet another Valentine’s Day offering.

Cupid is in the air, mon amour, and you had better run for cover before he gets a good shot at you. If you’re already sporting a pink feathered arrow sticking out, what polite folks refer to as your tush, have no worries, it will eventually heal (but only after much pain, terror and embarrassment).

There, you have been warned, and you’ve hopefully taken suitable action! So while you hide behind the tree/duck behind the ornamental plant (or keep yourself otherwise occupied), and wait for the little cherub to fly on by, take the quiz... How Romantic Are You?

1. Confession time: have you ever written a love letter or a poem?
a) “Oh, I write a poem a week. The only problem is I’m running out of things to rhyme love with... I mean there’s dove, there’s glove, there’s above and then...?”

b) “Errr, maybe once...” When, you ask? “A very, very, very long time ago... in the foolish days of my youth... errr” (trying to disappear under the table).
c) “Not on your life! Love is for suckers” (a motto that is conveniently also the name of your favorite Twisted Sister song).”

2. Your first love is now very much your ex-love. Are you guilty of secreting away stuff of strictly sentimental value?
a) “Well, I’ve got the ticket stub from our first movie date together; mostly because there’s a little scribbled note on it. I threw away the other stuff years ago.”

b) “Any ‘sentimental stuff’ I get, very soon gets intimately acquainted with my garbage bin. I mean, seriously, who can be bothered?”
c) “I’ve kept it all. I found out a few years ago that it was best to keep it all colour coded and indexed according to chronology. You see, I often need to be reassured at 2 a.m.”

3. You’re watching a movie. It’s pretty standard. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, sparks fly, but surprise, it doesn’t work out in the end. Your reaction is to
a) Break into wrenching sobs and reach for another tissue. Your only consolation is that they’re bound to get together sometime - after all they’re meant for each other.

b) Hurl your popcorn at the T.V., and call the director inventive names, and while you’re at it you abuse the cast, the producers and the studio as well. You can’t believe there’s anyone out there idiotic enough to find this movie ‘romantic’.
c) Sigh philosophically and go dig out the chocolate chip cookies.

4. Who said, ‘Love is blind’?
a) Actually, you did. That was after your third partner nearly stabbed you in the eyes with a pair of heels. Luckily, you survived to tell the tale.
b) Obviously, a very wise woman, or alternately someone who never had to live with a partner who refuses to put the lid back on the toothpaste tube.
c) Love is not blind; love sees all, ‘bees’ all (permit a little artistic license, I mean ‘is’ all) and unfortunately on occasion knees all in sensitive spots (yes, of course, I know it all rhymes!).

5. When you find yourself wanting to spend time with someone 24 hours a day, seven days a week, four weeks a month, 12 months a year you,
a) Check into a rehab clinic.

b) Joyfully embrace what is obviously destiny’s choice for you.
c) Think about how you can spend more time with your beloved, so that you can get to know each other better before taking any big steps.

6. Valentine’s Day is just around the bend, and you would like to do something to celebrate. Your plan,
a) Is still up in the air. Whatever you decide to do, it’s going to involve only two people - your partner and yourself! Perhaps a walk along the beach or a candle-lit dinner at home?

b) Is to dump your partner and inflict some serious pain. Hopefully you’ll be able to do both at a restaurant reserved for the rich and insane; admittedly no one else will pay those prices for rotten grape juice, grilled meat with a fancy name and decorative leaves - the good bit is you’re not paying.

c) Have the time of your life. Checklist: Designer outfit, limo, restaurant booking, sweet note, expensive gift, mouth spray, debit card, and a mini pocket club to ensure your better half’s crazy dog doesn’t urinate on your leg - again.

7. The poison... oops, sorry person, of your choice, is turning out to be the worst lapse in judgment you’ve ever had. This is because,
a) Your partner has decided that the two of you can’t afford to do ‘Paris in the spring,’ and still feed yourselves for the rest of the year, and is laying down the law.

b) You just had a minor disagreement about who was using the kitchen knife to stab whom.
c) You don’t have any common interests, anything to talk about and the same views on what monogamy means: your partner thinks it’s a variation on origami, or alternately, some type of cell division.

8. The quote that best describes your perception of love is,
a) “Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.” - Henry Louis Mencken.

b) “If you have it (Love), you don’t need to have anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have.” - Sir James M. Barrie.

c) “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” - Erich Segal
This is when we total up the hearts and flowers and come up with the hard, cold facts. If you feel like you just can’t face it, it’s okay, calm down. People feel like that all the time... that’s why we keep this simple. Simply compare your answers against the table and find out which one you have more of - FR, WAO or TC - and then check out the analysis below.

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