Mirror Magazine

Mirror Magazine

Burnt into your memory
Memories, whether precious or painful, are records of the past we live with. Thus it is best to learn how to deal with them – learn from your mistakes or enjoy by re-living. N. Dilshath Banu takes a closer look

Arranging the mess in your room that seems as if it has not been disturbed for nearly half-a-century is one of those old familiar journeys we take.

When you start to sort out the stuff, you are bound to come across some old photos of you and your friends – you remember the days when your class was branded as the noisiest, as it was unfortunately situated just beside the principal’s office; the days when you went on school trips, how you enjoyed just dancing with friends; the team spirit that existed throughout sports meets, exhibitions or even when you played games in the grounds during free periods.

And the day you said goodbye to your school life. It was a day full of hugs, tears and signing of autographs with ‘forget-me-not’ signs. It was heartbreaking to let go the friends who were so close to you, sharing your joys and sorrows. Yet, you have them all with you, not only in your photos, but also through the little notes you collected, which were passed during class, when even a little chat could cause a frown on your teacher’s face. And also those years of accumulated greeting cards, strewn all over…

Not so far down you have your dad’s first letter to you when he was abroad, among the heap of other things. That lovely pair of trousers that was presented to you by your mum on your 13th birthday, and the memorable gifts given by many remind you of the parties you celebrated each year for different occasions. All these moments take you on a journey to the past that you shared with your loved ones.

It’s true that memory works as a form of reincarnation. It helps you travel through the same journeys you have been on before, with the help of your mind. Human memory is a complex operation and there’s still much to learn about how it works. However, it’s amazing how every one of us recalls past events with much cherished memories.

Sara* (18) says, “My best memories are the ones that I spent with my closest friends. Among them are the ones that I spent with my first love, who happened to be the one I love the most in this world, and who’ll always be a part of my life. From the first day we met, to the times when he treated me like his sister, and the times when I knew he really cared are just a few of those moments. I’ll also never forget the day we had to let go of our love, as we discovered that we’d do better as friends. But he is the one I run to, in times of trouble, even now. We are still good friends. That memory will be there for as long as I live.”

“I have an antique collection, not only photos, but anything from clothes I wore on memorable days, gift wrappers, letters, songs and even voice tapes! My boyfriend used to work for a radio station. I have tapes full of his shows; even he doesn’t have them. For me, these are my memories,” says Sara.

For twenty-four year-old Shehan, the most unforgettable event is when his family gets together. “It was 12 years ago when my family and extended family decided to go on a trip to Anuradhapura, during the August school holidays. There were about 30 people including my cousins. We stayed in Anuradhapura for less than a week, and visited almost all the historic, religious and cultural sites. I can remember that we had fun. It was the first time that my family ever attempted to get together with my entire extended family.”

In a similar experience, Surani (21) says, “It was six years ago, on a rainy holiday, when my parents and aunts went out leaving my six cousins and I at home. We tried to do something crazy to avoid boredom. There were lots of suggestions, and we decided to have a rain party with lots of food. Soon we were busy in the kitchen preparing something spicy to eat and drink, and making the kitchen messy.”

“About an hour later, we got together in the living room with our food, and then it was party time! Not very long after, my parents, aunts and uncles arrived home. Mum was very upset about the mess, but the startling part was when one of my uncles called everyone to dance. They happened to dance with us, and even tasted our food, without leaving much for us,” she says, and flips to the photographs that captured that unforgettable day.
Randev (22) says that the way he got his job will be marked as his most unforgettable memory, as it was so coincidental. “It was the year before last, and I had applied for a job. After the first interview, I was called for the second one. During the second interview I was very optimistic. But weeks later, there was still no response from them. Then I dropped the idea, and started to do some academic courses.”

He recalls that one year later, when he was looking for employment, the company called him to find out whether he was still interested in the same post he applied for the year before. “When I said yes, they told me to come for the medical examination, and then I got the job. It’s amazing that I waited one year for this job, but within a week it was offered again,” says Randev.
Life rotates not only on the axis of happy moments, but also on moments of frustration and trauma. Very few of us are able to make those frustrating moments somewhat bearable, and include it in our memories.

Amila (21) from ‘Centigradz’ recalls one such annoying incident that shattered their concert. “We were on a charity concert in Vihara Maha Devi Park. We started our concert as usual. And when we were in the middle of a song, there was a power cut. The crowd and the organisers were really upset. Although we were feeling a little odd, we cheered the crowd by singing some songs, and told them not to worry as such things are meant to happen when we least expect them.

To add to the chaos, there were more power cuts; some lasted for as long as 15 minutes. If we, Centigradz, had got down from the stage at that point, it would have caused a commotion. Instead we held on, when things seemed gloomy,” he says.

Twenty-three-year-old Sachini* recalls with much irritation, the day she had to submit her school assignment. “I had just one assignment to submit, and my teacher said to give it before the examinations were over. I really couldn’t do it before, as I had to study. Then before the last day of the examinations, she told me to submit it the next day, if I wanted to pass. The next day, I had a social studies paper, and I was frustrated about studying for it, and doing an assignment that is not related to it in anyway. Somehow I managed to do the assignment, but went for the paper without studying the subject. The next morning, ten minutes before the examination, I opened my bag to get my assignment, and then felt terrible, when I realised that I had forgotten to put it in my bag.”

Then the bell rang and Sachini had to sit for the paper, while her mind was disturbed by the forgotten assignment. As she expected, she didn’t do well. “I was worried about it for sometime. But when weeks passed, I didn’t mind the failure, as I learnt to set priorities and do my work,” she says.
When you experience traumatic events that you wish to erase from your memory, it’s up to you to delete those events from your brain. When memory hurts, cry and console yourself, and if possible share your experience with your close friends. Remember, everyone has a forgotten story to tell, whether happy or sad.

Life is too short to relive events once again. But memories flicker with the flame of yesteryear, buried with cherished moments of joy and sorrow. And sometimes, the heartbreaking moments hum the tone of a beautiful song, when you look back and remember what you did, when you were given the chance to do it!

(* Names have been changed.)

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