5th Column

Flowery attack, a hug and a tear in the eye!
My Dear Malwatti Mahinda,
I thought I must write to you after the dust settles on your nomination, because you must be finding it terrible to deal with all those people who tried to get rid of you now congratulating you as if they had been lifelong friends. But then, with your famous smile, I am sure you can get away with anything!
Honestly, Mahinda, your nomination without so much as a whimper of protest from the ‘Otunna himi Kumaraya’ was a little surprising. And that too hardly a day after Satellite blasted you in public saying that carrying malwatti to temples is no qualification for leadership.

What was even more surprising was that you, the man who never said anything about anything unless you really had to, turned on Satellite publicly saying that no one can stop your visits to the temple and asking whether one had to be born in a walauwa to rule the country!

And almost the very next day, we are told that Satellite nominated you as the presidential candidate, gave you a hug and that there was even a tear in her eye! And what’s more, the Otunna himi Kumaraya throws in the towel, says nothing and accepts the consolation prize of the Premiership without any fuss. We have heard that politics is the art of the possible, but when the impossible happens, it is a bit baffling…Of course, theories abound. There is the theory that the Blues did to you what the Greens did to Mr. Premadasa, who, if memory serves me right, was also famous as a malwatti devotee. They gave the nomination to him at a time it looked as if it was impossible for the Greens to win believing that he would lose-and that it would be the end of his political career. You should not be upset about that because we all know what happened next: Mr. Premadasa won and the rest is history, so it is not a bad precedent to follow.

Then there is speculation as to why they nominated the Otunna himi Kumaraya as the prospective Premier when they really didn’t have to do that at this stage. Obviously they still don’t trust you because they fear you might choose your own man-say, for instance, Di Moo Jayaratne- and put an end to the Horagolla Dynasty once and for all. After all, that is what Mr. Premadasa did, nominating Dingiri Banda for the job!

Of course, in the middle of all this there is Helping Hambantota and the stink it raises. The Greens raised the issue hoping it would force the Blues to nominate the Otunna himi Kumaraya so that their task is made it easier but that hasn’t worked, but we are not sure what kind of impact it will have on your campaign-so you would have to be careful…

So, with all this, we wish you well, my dear Malwatti Mahinda. All that we can say is that we know you can look after yourself against your enemies; it is your friends that you should be careful about!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-Already, they have coined a new name for you should you win the upcoming contest: instead of Malwatti Mahinda, they will call you 'Pushpakumara Ekanayake!'

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