Appreciations
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He
taught us much by the way he lived Throughout those 16 years, we got to know Gemunu and his family, became fast and firm friends, and shared with them the neighbourhood news and political views; discussed how to raise children in today's world, got hands-on advice on how to grow and maintain a beautiful garden; shared the produce and foliage from each other's gardens; house-watched when the other family was out of town; celebrated family occasions and saw the New Year in together on many a December 31st night. Norosha first became our son's favourite "Akki" and later, after our daughter was born, her favourite Akki too. When we remember Gemunu, we immediately think of both Gemunu and Nirmalie, because they were truly a couple who lived in harmony. As next-door neighbours, we never heard a harsh word spoken, nor a voice raised in anger or argument from their home. In fact, a very special quality about Gemunu and Nirmalie was that they never spoke ill of others. Theirs was also a home that was open and welcoming to all - their close-knit and extended families, Gemunu's colleagues from Ernst and Young, the accountancy profession and the business community, members of their Rotary and Inner Wheel Clubs, former domestic staff, houseguests from all over the Rotary International globe, their friends and Norosha's friends, former teachers and, of course, the entire neighbourhood. Gemunu was a man of many parts. In his capacity as Senior Partner at Ernst and Young, Gemunu was one of the most respected and affectionately held senior members of the accountancy profession in Sri Lanka. He was also a devout Buddhist, in the truest sense of the word and a true example to follow in today's world of bigotry and intolerance. While steadfast to his own beliefs, he respected and appreciated the customs and beliefs of all other religions, cultures and communities. He and Nirmalie also gave so much of themselves and all they had with those around them, both the fortunate and the less fortunate. Their beautiful and elegant home was always a-buzz with activity. Soon after the cease-fire agreement was signed in February 2002, they were one of the first groups to travel to Jaffna on a Rotary project to donate wheelchairs. Again, soon after the tsunami tidal wave disaster in December 2004, they were busy with a project to collect school packs for children in a southern coastal village and later helped with building a community hall there in collaboration with the temple priest in the area. The list is endless. Yet, Gemunu was also ready for fun, whether keeping in step at a Rotary Club dance or enjoying a treasure hunt at a party or wearing a silly hat and singing 'Auld Lang Syne" while seeing the New Year in with all of us. Gemunu just enjoyed being with people of all ages and interests. Gemunu stood out as a man of unquestionable personal and professional integrity. Throughout all his professional successes, Gemunu also remained a sensitive, gentle and tolerant human being. Nirmalie and he, together, were a shining example to be followed in their compassion and respect for and tolerance of, their fellow human beings and their desire to work with each other and together with the community for the betterment of all. The many, many people from all walks of life who came to pay their respects to Gemunu when he died were a testimony to the life he had led. He taught us much, not by what he said, but by example, merely by the way he lived. We shall truly miss him. He left this world as he had lived, gently with dignity. For Nirmalie, Norosha and Aunty Lakshmie, the void he has left behind can never be filled. Yet, may it help them to know that they are not alone in their sorrow. May he rest in peace. Romesh,
Anila, Ravi and Anisha Dias Learned
and unassuming he was loved by all Though
he was educated at Kingswood College Kandy, during the British rule,
he inherited a wealth of religious knowledge and of Buddhist Philosophy.
This may have been due to the influences of my paternal grand parents. Even during the last few months of his life, I remembered him talking with gratitude about his teachers, Miss Clements, his first grade teacher and Mrs.Utting the wife of the principal of the college who was also his mathematics teacher whose dedication and hard work paved way for his success in life. He was one of the very few who passed the London Senior Matriculation Examination with flying colours, was the captain of Eton house, captain of the debating team etc. He believed that the all-round education they had in school those days helped him to reach the highest positions in service and to lead a successful life as a loving husband and devoted father. After leaving school he joined the government service and climbed the ladder of the then Ceylon Civil Service, serving as the DRO and the Additional Government Agent of Kandy. Later, he was appointed as the Commissioner of Buddhist Affairs on the recommendation of the member of parliament Mrs U.Ranaraja, and a cabinet decision was taken on his appointment. My father was also a simple and unassuming person who was loved by his colleagues of the pensioners' association where he held the position of the honorary president until the last few months of his life. The people of the village who helped him to serve as the president of the "Dayaka Saba" of the village temple for more than 25 years, also loved and respected him. Many came to him to hear his views on religious issues, for his explanations were all based on the teachings of Lord Buddha. Even during his last days when battling against a heart disease which he fought patiently, he held discussions on various issues. Be it on Buddhism and life's philosophy, world wars, literature, his grand children were stunned by the unbelievable amount of knowledge he possessed . Today, more than two months after his death, I cry silently thinking of all the good things my saintly father did for us.As he breathed his last, my mother who had been there for him and with him for 50 years was there as his consoling partner for life. On the eve of a religious month on May 2, his body was brought home – soul departed yet full of life, and a face radiant with a smile. I consoled myself saying "he had a happy death". Your
ever loving podi duwa A man
not easily defined or categorised Ralston was, by definition, a professional planter and he remained as such to the end. It would have been difficult to conceive him in any other context. Planting was his profession, passion and pride. His career, spanning more than five decades and his contribution to the industry are very much part of plantation lore. Therefore, Ralston’s reputation and achievements as a planter does not need my plaudits. However, Ralston the man was far more difficult to compartmentalize and I would, rather, say something of the man I knew. I first met Ralston in the late sixties; I as a raw entrant to the plantation industry and Ralston already a senior estate manager in a prestigious company. Then, I addressed him as “Sir”, very respectfully. Many years later, as things between us became more equal and we found a commonality of interests, I was able to call him “Ralston”, but still with respect. However, I never called him “Rally”, as many friends of his own vintage did. Even in my mind he remained as “Ralston”. This was entirely in instinctive deference to his stature within an industry we grew up in. Ralston the private individual was a complex and multifaceted personality, not easily categorized or defined. He was, outwardly, a typical representative of an insular culture bred by conventional British colonial influences. As one of the earliest entrants into an industry then totally dominated by the British, he consciously conformed to many of its traditions and social and conduct parameters, as such compliance was then necessary for survival. Yet, within this highly institutionalized culture he maintained an individuality that transcended its narrow confines. Those who knew him superficially, particularly in the early years, would have been forgiven for categorizing him as a “Brown Sahib”. Doubtless, he did manifest some of the more typical attributes. But he was also a highly cultured man with wide-ranging interests, very widely read, possessing a keen appreciation of quality music, art and other refined pursuits which identified him as a man whose true person, existed independent of a conventional exterior. Many would have called him contentious by nature. He was, certainly, controversial, quick to stimulate debate and argument and quite unapologetic about his confrontational stances. Whilst being very much an icon himself, he loved attacking icons and conventional concepts; bon vivant, party goer, man-about –many-clubs and sportsman excelling in many fields; mercurial and difficult to please; irreverent but never, ever, dull. He was all of these and a few other things besides. Yet, through all these contradictory and provocative images there was always visible, the steely core of the professional planter with an unwavering commitment to excellence. He was also a totally sincere man with a deep commitment to relationships and in his quieter and more reflective moments, a delightful companion. The stories about Ralston and his many exploits are legion. Over the years they have acquired weight and lustre with repeated telling. They will continue to be recounted by many in the years to come and need not be mentioned here. Suffice to say that however outrageous the anecdote it will, most likely, be based on a kernel of truth. Ralston the legend was born long before the death of Ralston, the man. During the era of state management of the plantations, a somewhat sorry interlude in plantation history, when advancement relied more on relationships and connections and less on performance, Ralston did not prosper as much as some of his less accomplished colleagues did. It was then a management milieu which did not welcome Ralston’s brand of forthrightness and abhorrence of sycophancy. Ralston’s manner of passing was consistent with his personality and the way he lived his life. It was sudden and without sentiment or prolonged goodbyes. Despite a lifestyle that many would have considered extravagant and unashamedly given to the savouring of the more enjoyable things in life, he left no mansions or other edifices behind. He
was never an accumulator of wealth or assets. However, none of the
people who came to know this complex but lovable man will ever forget
him. He is sure to be spoken of for a long time to come, by many,
with affection, amusement and respect, in many corners of this country,
particularly in those old – fashioned watering holes in the
hill country which, over the years, were both enlivened and enriched
by his generous patronage. |
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