5th Column

Will he who goes to temples with flowers get it?
My Dear Satellite,
I thought I must write to you because you have been in the news very much these days not least because of your 60th birthday, although I suspect there wasn't much of a partying mood at the 'mandiraya'.

Now that the Joint Mechanism (or whatever you choose to call it) has been signed, sealed and delivered to Kilinochchi, I suppose you can afford to take some of the credit for going ahead with what you thought was right, despite the howls of protest that came your way.

You have proved, with this Mechanism business, that you are quite a clever politician. That you managed to go ahead with it when monks were fasting unto death and Wimal and Somawansa were threatening to bring down your government, itself is an achievement although it is an entirely different issue as to whether the Mechanism is the best thing for Sri Lanka after 'Rata Perata'.

But Satellite, you have paid a price too and that is the support of some of your loyalists, most notably Mangala who wanted to be with the Reds at all cost. Even Dinesh and Ferial are making dissenting noises but you have guessed correctly that they will not have the backbone to quit over an issue of principle.

The prize for opportunism though must go to young Rauff who was contemplating rejoining your ranks -- and this after your lieutenants virtually blackmailed him by airing videos of his alleged private life over state media, not so long ago!

But Satellite, there are still some issues to be sorted out, aren't there? There is the issue of the Blues being in a minority in the House and there is the small matter of the presidential candidate from the blue party.

Pardon me if I am wrong but why is that the state media has of late begun to sing the praises of not-so-young Anura? And why is it that Sarath makes statements saying that you cannot be a good leader of a country by merely carrying flowers and visiting temple after temple?

Of course, Satellite, we all understand that blood is thicker than water and that you would like Mallo to carry on the family business. But selecting him ahead of he-who-visits-temples will be a more challenging task than the Joint Mechanism itself. Remember, even JR, who you emulate so much these days, had to hand over the nomination to he-who-visited-temples from the Green party, even though he would have really liked to pass on the reins to Lalith or Gamini.

But I am sure you will sort this out in your own inimitable way. After all, you could carry on regardless until 2006 and then tinker the Constitution to stay in charge, although not many people will be wishing you 'Many Happy Returns' then!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Can I also let you in on a little secret, Satellite? It will not be the Joint Mechanism or the next presidential candidate that will eventually decide your fate, it will be the cost of living. I am just letting you know because, the way your government is carrying on, you seem to be totally unaware of this trivial matter…

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