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TIMES POSTCARD
Are you having a nice tsunami?
By Rajpal Abeynayake
A clothes designer known to me was drawing something that looked like a white plume. I thought he was designing an advertisement for a washing powder. He said no, that it was a design for a saree material. I was not convinced. So he took me into his confidence. He said "look how can we forget the tsunami? So my boss said we have to put the tsunami on sarees.''

But that did seem to be very strange. This is the same boss who was planning a big show with Raruk Shan or somebody, a new artiste from Calcutta or someplace. He never seemed to be that tsunami-conscious to me, the boss I mean. "But everybody is tsunami conscious,'' said the artist. But to me it did not seem to be quite - - - at least quite fitting - - that to have a rock show you have to use the tsunami.

But my artist friend took me aside. He gave me two tablets and said "this will cure you of your headache.'' I said "I do not even have one.''"Take them anyway," he said, "it will be good for your conscience, anyway it is for a good cause no?''

Since when had pain-killing tablets been for a good cause? So I told my friend that he had great sense of humour. But then he took out the two tablets and showed me the label. The label had a giant plume, like the one that he was drawing on his saree design. "These multi-nationals are so cute. They come out with the nicest ideas to help tsunami victims,'' he said.

I was deflated.
"But look at the doctors'' I reminded. "They are on strike. At least some people are not tsunami conscious.''
'That is absurd' said my friend. "You wait and see whether the doctors will not organise a big dance to help tsunami victims.''

The rule of thumb is that nothing can be done as long as you are sufficiently tsunami conscious. For example, if you are running for the presidency of any organisation, your agenda must be tsunami conscious. All your promotion literature must have at least one photograph of tsunami victims. If you are a politician there is no way you can leave the tsunami behind. You need to have the tsunami for breakfast, lunch and dinner. When you come for a talk show you cannot run away with the microphone like you used to. You have to come with a suitable tsunami face. It's like the one that opposition politicians wear these days. One cheek looks very alert, the other cheek looks very depressed and flat. One is to express empathy with the tsunami victims. The other is to say that whatever happens, we will be alert and keep the government politicians accountable.

But when these opposition politicians go home, they wear their real face. They get a punching bag. They hang the punching bag and assault it and abuse it like mad. And what's the punching bag called? Chandrika Kumaratunga?? Mangala Samaraweera? No, it's called tsunami. This punching bag is the only way that opposition politicians can stay sane because these days they cannot try to topple governments. One relief organisation had said there is such a demand for these punching bags, that they are sending a whole container load to Sri Kotha. It's a kind of a psycho-social way of supporting our people.

Finally my friend said the tsunami is bringing out the best in our people. You bet. Those days we had to think a one hundred an one times before we did anything. But now suddenly, it's like the sky is the limit. We can do anything we want -- have rock concerts on Poya Days, have golf tournaments, take horse riding, ask not just American television but even the Americans themselves to come and invade us please -- as long as we are all doing it for the tsunami.

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