Mirror Magazine

Mirror Magazine

Rock steady
By Esther Williams
Despite what cynics say about Father’s Day being yet another marketing gimmick, looking at it on the positive side, it is an excellent opportunity to celebrate and honour your father. Such days act as reminders because most of us are so caught up with our work that we do not find time to thank and appreciate the person we take for granted.

It was Mrs. John B. Dodd of Washington who first proposed the idea of a Father’s Day way back in 1909. The first Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910 in Washington. In 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June Father’s Day. Many years down the road, I wonder, is the role of the father changing?

Evolving father figures
A father at one time was measured in terms of his professional success, income, leadership skills and faithfulness to his family. Today however reports indicate that he is measured in terms of how useful he is in the kitchen, how many diapers he can change, etc.

In addition, fathers are required to be sympathetic to their wives who have had to compromise. Hence we see many a modern-dad handling a whining child. Fathers are expected to help with kids and the household even when they are the primary breadwinners. “They are now supposed to bring home the bacon and fry it up for the children’s supper,” a report states.

Men are no longer the only breadwinner in most households. His duties have grown to include equal partnership in responsibilities of household, marriage and parenthood. It also means that he has to be there for the family and play an active part in what goes on at home.

While this is comparatively common in the West, the East is slower to catch on. The concept of equal partnership that feminists rallied for cannot be practised with a frequently absent spouse. To give the men some credit, life has definitely become more complex and the ruthless competition it presents makes it imperative for men to work harder and for longer hours.

In some cases man seems to have evolved from being the head of a family who took all decisions and dictated all crucial aspects of everyday life into a mere figurehead. While some consider their actions as sacrifices that a man makes to better the lives of his family, others think that they have their priorities wrong and prefer be totally engaged in their work rather than take on care giving responsibilities.

Getting involved
Growing up without a father figure it is natural for children to seek out their mothers. Their lives revolve around the mother, leaving the father in the dark. “I personally feel that men are losing out,” Mrs. Silva states. Children will seek approval, support and advice only from the parent who gives them time and who has been there for them.

There are those who think differently however. A father means different things to different people: “My father is terribly strict and protective,” Shamali says, adding that he had the final say in most situations. But beneath all that control, she senses his caring.

Duminda’s father was away a great deal. On the rare occasions when he was home, he made his presence felt. He would catch up on all the things he had missed.

“My father’s really cool,” smiles Shawn. Although he does not seem involved, you know that he is concerned when he gathers information about courses, activities that he would want his son to participate in, hoping to interest him in them.

Mahe’s late father took all the major decisions in the family. He was very involved in day-to-day activities, most often doing the grocery shopping, taking the children to school, shopping and hospital. He always made time for it. His constant presence was something that Mahe values a great deal. “What better opportunity for a man so special,” she asks, “- a day when we can show him we really care?”

Most girls would agree that dad is simply the best guy! He is often used as a yardstick to measure other men. They think Father’s Day should be an occassion for expressing gratitude and appreciation for a father’s hard work.

“My dad always saved me from my mother,” Sandra laughs. Her mother looked into the day-to-day affairs while her father always pampered her. Thus it was natural for her to look up to her father with love and pride, while her mother represented the ogre.

All said and done the role of fathers can never be appreciated enough. People around the world who observe the day, celebrate and honour not just their father, but all the men who have acted as a father figure in life, such as a stepfather, uncle, grandfather or big brother. So why not pamper them on Father’s Day?

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