5th Column

In political conduct Arumugam is no second to Satellite
My Dear Arumugam,
I thought I must write to you when I heard that you were quite distressed during the past few days after Satellite had withdrawn your security and left you with only two policemen to guard you!

And am I correct when I say that this happened after you submitted a 'shopping list' to her, asking her for a couple of ministries, a few key government posts and a promise not to abolish the executive presidential system in return for your support to her in Parliament?

Oh, you poor little Arumugam, you must be still wondering what went wrong because you would have been hoping to be a minister by now with so many vehicles, bodyguards, and official residences at your disposal…

But if I were you, I wouldn't be too disappointed Arumugam, and I will tell you why. You should know this already, but Satellite only very rarely does what she says and says what she does. Remember, how she kept telling that Mano-Malik committee that Parliament won't be dissolved until a few minutes before she actually did it? So, when she says no, she could very well be meaning yes!

But I think you should also learn a lesson from what your late grandfather did, Arumugam. He always said to take what is given and then ask for more but what you have done is to ask for more without accepting what is on offer and I'm not convinced that is the best strategy in these matters.

After all, Arumugam, we all know that this is all about being of service to your people in the plantation sector and providing them with a better quality of life even though your critics will say that it is only about remaining in power and enjoying your life at state expense. Ah, don't worry Arumugam, your people still believe in you-even if it is only because of your name-and don't they say that you can't fool all of them all the time?

In that sense Arumugam, you are so much like Satellite. She too is trying her absolute best to stay in power for a few years more because she desperately wants to serve this country and make all our lives better even though she has to make many personal sacrifices for this purpose!

Of course, you must continue to meet and greet the Green Man and be on good terms with him. For all your attempts to join the Cabinet, you have been elected as a member of the Greens and when Satellite has made use of you and kicked you out, just like she did to Rauff, you should be able to get back to the Greens!

So, take heart Arumugam. The loss of a few body guards provided at state expense is not the end of the world and I'm sure there will be more opportunities for you to join the cabinet once Wee Wee and his rathu sahodarayas assault the rest of the Buddhist monks in Parliament and the government becomes desperately short of numbers to make up a majority!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-For the moment though while you are in Satellite's bad books, you can expect to get some free publicity from the state. Rauff had his private life aired on TV and now GL is having his land transactions discussed. So, be prepared!

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