Financial Times

Loose chatter in J-Biz boardrooms
By Wise Old Owl
The Wise Old Owl felt out of sorts today and decided to take an extended nap before going on a hunt for food. He discovered that the windowsill of the Ton on the Hill Hotel's private boardroom area was a cozy place to perch. Despite being drowsy, Wise Old Owl couldn't help but overhear the bold and loud chatter inside the boardroom marked "Reserved for J-Biz Cocktails."

Wise Old Owl makes a quiet crack, "Hi Nato (No action talk only) guys! What happened to the joint meeting with the HE and PM to give them a dressing down on the need for co-habitation which you promised at BMICH? What about getting the answers to your questionnaires to HE and PM on key policy issues? How about the demand for specific action plan commitments with sources of funding to meet election pledges?"

One J-Bizer peers around to see who asked the question and replies confidently, "those are only minor details, what come may, we are winning! and I am meeting the boss to tell him so on Friday. In the next 10 days, watch when we give it to them babe, below the belt with a knock out punch through our brilliant advertising campaign".

Wise Old Owl thinks "counting your chickens before they hatch …eh! Nice tactic to fire Niwri, the gamaya and hire Burly Early from ole blighty who thinks he can catch the vote through jeans clad 'gamey kellas' lolling on hammocks favouring free market lifestyles rather than that nasty Marxist thinking of the hoi polloi. Good show, boycotting advertising on the most popular TV channels as well, who needs the hoi polloi anyway, they are just a bunch of losers.

Another J-Bizer says," Don't worry! That elite charm of our boss shown in classic full suit and opulent surroundings will effectively counter the red and blue muck thrown his way to blot his royal image". Big talk biz kid mutters quietly…"must show PM that I have also done my bit for him in presenting a realistic economic analysis of the past, present and the future and a comparative study of manifestos, as well, which gives 'my idea' of a true picture.

How else can I repay the royal connections and gratitude for high appointments I never dreamt of"? Wise Old Owl overhears someone whisper, "why the hell did Mr. Nobody's Stooge' pass the leadership to this big talk biz kid and stay out of the lime light?" In keeping with biz tradition, I guess, thinks Wise Old Owl. Wise Old Owl ponders….how come the number two biz god is the odd one out who is promoting the UN Charter on Business Corruption to be legislated and also agreeing with Transparency International to include the private sector in the scope of coverage? Doesn't have royal connections, I guess.

Wise Old Owl overhears someone say," I don't see why that retired old fool is interfering in trying to define bribery and corruption in over 25 different ways to involve us when our intentions are so pure and innocent to only invest for our future and satisfy the risk reward needs of our political networks?"

Wise Old Owl thinks… I can count only on five fingers of those who are not corrupt and are at the top and the boss who sees no evil and hears no evil as he did so sitting quietly in Parliament whilst his golayas were burning the new constitution.

They all let out a chorus," we are winning what ever happens and even the NIB says so! Let's make merry, no worry". Another J-Bizer mumbles," you may make merry but poor me; I have to choose whether to accept the job of the chairman of BOI or EDB because she wants me to decide soon. I wonder on whose toes I will tread by accepting both under a combined ministry?"

Wise Old Owl overhears yet another grumble, "my worry are those guys who think they are supreme and will soon decide that the Tax Amnesty law is unconstitutional and thus let loose the bribery, customs, tax and exchange control fellows to walk all over me waving my declaration".

Yet another responds, "Machang, don't worry, pour another round of black label and make merry for I know the way and the power of networks and green bucks and the election money I gave all parties including the yellow birds".

Another guzzler says, "hey man, It is these yellow birds that worry me and what will we do if they ban the booze, karaoke, rolling dice and tasty eastern European migrating birds --- my only salvation is that those behind them will always want them".

Wise Old Owl can stand this chatter no more and flies off thinking how these 'great' businessmen could be so shortsighted and foolish in comprehending their own vulnerability and totally forgetting the basic principles of risk management and having contingency plans in place. (Note: This column was written a few days before the election)

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