|
Do
you make love or war?
Do you spread goodwill and calm in your wake? Or do you leave an
aftermath more akin to a tornado? Are your close personal relations
angelic or hellish? Do you cherish or wreck? Support or trample
underfoot? Don’t be too sure you know the answers. This quiz
may open your eyes to the real you.
1. Someone is
rude to you in a shop. Do you:
(a) Pretend not to notice
(b) Walk out
(c) Walk out, muttering audibly
(d) Speak back so politely you hope they’ll cringe inside
(e) Give them a severe tongue-lashing?
2. What do
you wish for:
(a) Money
(b) Power
(c) Tranquillity
(d) Health
(e) Happiness?
3. Your “best
friend” owes you money and is showing no signs of paying it
back. Do you:
(a) Forget it
(b) Keep hoping, but say nothing
(c) Start hinting
(d) Ask if there is any chance
(e) Threaten that the friendship is over if it is not cash, now?
4. Which of
these has contributed most to the rising divorce rate:
(a) More people can afford it
(b) People are more selfish than they used to be
(c) There is too much sexual freedom
(d) Loyalty does not seem to be valued any more
(e) People are more willing to admit mistakes?
5. You suspect
your partner’s illness is faked. Do you:
(a) Challenge him
(b) Start dropping hints
(c) Watch carefully for signs that you are right
(d) Wait and see
(e) Indulge him - he obviously needs a little spoiling?
6. You have
won the lottery. Do you give your partner:
(a) All of it
(b) More than half of it
(c) Half of it, or you spend it all together
(d) Less than half of it
(e) Nothing?
7. Which of
these qualities do you think is the most important for a successful
marriage?
(a) Freedom from money worries
(b) Tolerance
(c) A sense of humour
(d) The ability to bounce back
(e) Freedom to do as you please?
8. Which of
these comes closest to your view?
(a) Rows are not good for marriage and should be avoided
(b) Rows are not good for marriage and should be avoided at any
cost
(c) Rows are inevitable but should not be too frequent
(d) The rows you have matter less than the quality of the making
up
(e) Rows keep a marriage alive and exhilarating?
9. You find
out that your friend’s husband is having an affair. Do you:
(a) Tell her
(b) Start dropping hints and hope she will work it out for herself
(c) Say nothing
(d) Tell him you know
(e) Tell him you will tell her unless he ends the affair?
10. You are
at traffic lights and the neighbouring car is obviously planning
to race you. Do you:
(a) Bend over the wheel in concentration
(b) Pretend to ignore it - then put your foot down and catch him
unawares
(c) Take off at your usual pace
(d) Go slow -who needs aggro?
11. When you
hear of a woman who manages a full-time job, keeps a beautiful house
and always turns her children out marvellously, do you:
(a) Wish you could be like her
(b) Thank goodness it is not you
(c) Think it is too good to be true
(d) Think she is a professional martyr
(e) Hate her?
12. Do you
think women who protest outside missile bases are:
(a) Courageous but foolish
(b) Courageous and wise
(c) Unrealistic
(d) Dangerous
(e) Idealistic?
13. Did your
own parents:
(a) Argue a lot
(b) Argue sometimes
(c) Argue very rarely
(d) Never argue
(e) Never argue in front of the children?
14. Do you
have the feeling that your life is:
(a) A roller-coaster ride
(b) An adventure
(c) A fairy story
(d) A battle plan
(e) A logistical exercise well under your control?
15. When your
partner says something that upsets you do you:
(a) Sulk
(b) Feel your hackles rise -and show it
(c) Hit back
(d) Hide your spontaneous reaction
(e) Refuse to let it upset you?
What
your score means:
205-300:
You are at war with yourself, your loved ones and the world. There’s
nothing wrong with being nobody’s doormat, but being over-aggressive
has two disadvantages. Firstly, it uses up so much of your energy
that could be used more constructively and enjoyably. Secondly,
it is counter-productive. You will get more of your own way if you
tread softly rather than go in with all guns blazing.
105-200:
You make love, rather than war. Of course, you are not perfect.
You have your faults, your selfish ways, your grumpy days. But,
your head and your heart both have the gift of loving. You understand
how to put others before yourself, how to step into their shoes
and see life their way, how to wrap your love around them when that
is what they need most. Carry on loving.
0-100:
This is not love or war, it is surrender. It is not loving
or lovable to let people walk all over you. Loving is an equal relationship
in which giving and the taking should be done in equal proportions.
You are all give and no take. Take care, or the real you will vanish
inside your martyr’s mask. Indulge yourself a little and learn
to be more demanding. People will start to take notice when you
do.
|
