Mirror Magazine

 

Forget the 'if only's
By Shiroma Benaragama
If only I had longer hair, curlier hair, straighter hair, a slimmer body, more money, a better job, a boyfriend, a better husband, fairer skin, more confidence, a straighter nose, smaller hips, a nicer house... life would be perfect.

Sounds familiar?
Self-esteem means feeling good about your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and desires. High self-esteem is important because it provides a foundation for you to deal with life's many challenges. Improving your self-esteem can give you the confidence, strength and resilience to face and overcome many obstacles. The root cause of low self-esteem lies in constantly comparing ourselves with others, and finding ourselves lacking. Many of us look around us, at all the seemingly more beautiful, happier and more fulfilled folks around us and feel we come up short. Maybe, in a way, it's okay to think that. If everyone was completely satisfied with the way they looked, whatever would happen to the beauty industry!? Or the fashion industry!?

There's nothing wrong in comparing ourselves with others. In fact, such comparisons may even spur us on to better ourselves. It is when these comparisons start dragging us down, that we are in trouble.

Be comfortable with your body
Our standard of beauty is rising. Our perceptions of beauty have scaled new heights, and when the mirror image doesn't match these standards, we lose heart. The most common cause of insecurity stems from a dislike of our body image. We are constantly bombarded by images of perfection. We need to be comfortable with our body.

Snap out of it!
Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself you look good. Maybe you need to lose a little weight from your hips, but you look great anyway. If you are overweight, getting upset about it will not solve the problem. Working out and exercising will. So you have to work harder than your friends - much harder - to lose the same amount of weight? Tough, but you're just going to have to do it, and it will pay off in the long run. Plus, don't forget, you've got other things going for you that they don't. Perhaps you are more financially comfortable, perhaps you have a nicer face, a more loving family, or a nicer voice...

Accept yourself
It's time to understand one basic fact of life. There will always be someone prettier, richer, wittier or more successful. That does not make them better persons, or happier. Likewise, there will always be those who have less than you. They may have less money, be less talented or less good looking. But that would not make you any superior or happier.

Give yourself a break
When we compare ourselves with others, we know the worst of our selves and our lives but we have no idea about the problems others may be facing. We compare what we are from inside, to what another person appears to be on the outside.

Let go of petty jealousies and envious feelings
Life is not about getting one-up on another person. You are never going to be happy that way. The women you envy today may have far harder times ahead of them than you will ever face. No one knows what the future holds. You have got to focus on yourself. Do not moan for the life you had imagined having or wish you would have. It is very easy to become bitter and blame the world for all your problems. Grow up! Spend your time trying to be happy with the life you are already leading.

Picture yourself 20 years from now
The sort of comparison you are now making with your peers lessens as you advance in years. Suddenly you realise that all of you have turned 40, your life is just fine, and those non-productive comparisons just dwindle away. Why wait till then? You've got one life. Start now!


'They' will tell you what to think
By Ruhanie Perera
A bare stage, nine actors, eight boxes and one booming voice. That's Big Brother - and he's watching.

Based on Orwell's 1984, Big Brother Is Watching is set in 2048 where the countries of the world have developed into three super states - Oceania (comprising North America, South America, England and Australia), Eurasia and East Asia. Big Brother, controller of Oceania, is representative of all of history's classic tyrants.

He is the all-pervasive head of state, government and religion that controls the media and through it, the minds of his people. An exercise facilitated by the latest technology at his fingertips. With his 'Thought Police', Ministry of Truth and Bureau of Hate - he is the ultimate dictator.

Every dictator needs an enemy in order to justify his hold on the people. In this play, the enemy comes in the form of Goldstein exiled from the land, and unseen at all times.

Orwell takes the standard love story, that of Winston and Julia, and weaves around it a larger political situation. The lovers choose to meet in the area set aside for the Proles (the Proletariat) who are, as far as the regime is concerned, just the labour. Yet it is from them that the lovers learn about what life was like before Big Brother, when sugar, coffee, and nursery rhymes were not something alien to people. In learning this, they transgress the system, which necessitates a re-education process, one that will bring them back into the fold.

For Marsh Dodanwela who plays the role of Winston Smith, the central idea of the play comes across in the straightforward demand to 'stop and think.' "I don't think we are aware of how much the media influences us; how certain people and nations influence our thinking." In his opinion, what we all need to do is evaluate our thinking in terms of "Am I an individual?" or "Am I the sum total of what the media bombards me with?"

His character, the intelligent and pensive Winston, learns to question his thinking and in doing so examines the principles of the regime within which he has grown up. Subsequently he realizes that there is something wrong with the ideology of the regime. Although he does possess the strength of character to make a change, he lacks the will to act. That is until he meets Julia, who, in loving him, gives him the strength he needs. "The transition Winston goes through is interesting," says Marsh, "he goes from being paranoid and disillusioned, to someone who finds it in himself to challenge the system."

"The world created by Big Brother is a world where love doesn't exist," says Kisholi de Mel who plays Julia. "Julia doesn't know how to express her feelings for Winston. She says she was drawn to him because he hated the party as much as she did, she sees it in his eyes. But this feeling is one that grows very deep; he becomes her life. And within the play this is a very dangerous position to be in."

The play, says Kisholi, highlights how the people in power, control every thought, every feeling, and every emotion of an individual.

Chamat Arambewela who plays Comrade O'Brien, member of the Big Brother regime and, most importantly, the only physical presence of the regime, talks of how his character is the one character in the play who has absolute control over what takes place. "Totally in control. No emotions. It's all a game and I'm playing with people's lives."

The play is topical. And though at this point it may seem almost obvious, the question must be asked. Why this play? Says director Feroze Kamardeen: "It's becoming increasingly difficult for people and nations to have an opinion of their own. In fact, we live in a time when we find it hard to have an opinion different to that of Big Brother. Big Brother can be anyone - it can be the person who controls the market, world politics - the one in control of the present. I think the play is relevant in terms of what is taking place in the world."

"The play makes a very powerful statement on authority and the whole notion of democracy, unveiling the way in which people can be deluded into doing things because of an ideological position," says Neluka Silva, whose role represents the archetypical citizen who doesn't question, has no independence and is totally devoted to the party. Says Neluka, "What is striking and almost chilling is that although she may seem extreme, she is representative of people of a society, in times of mass movement. She is what the average citizen could become in such a time."

For Neluka, the play is a frightening account of how human beings can be controlled by breaking their minds. It's not just about controlling or defeating the mind, she says, it's about manipulating it so that an individual passively accepts a particular belief system.

The play seems to have struck a chord with all the actors, it seems to have a voice of its own and its message is one that deserves to be heard. As Marsh puts it, "Hopefully we can make it engaging enough for our audience - and if we make even one person stop and think - that would be good."

A StageLight&Magic Inc. production, Big Brother Is Watching opens on June 6 at the Lionel Wendt Theatre and continues till June 8. The cast comprises Marsh Dodanwela, Kisholi de Mel, Chamat Arambewela, Neluka Silva, Wanda Godlieb, Dininda Paranahewa, Nishani Jayamaha, Arjuna Koralagama and Kisholi Mendis.


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