5th Column

Sanath becomes a trend setter in another field
My Dear Sanath,
I thought I must write to you when I heard you had offered to resign as the Captain. Then we heard that your resignation had not been accepted and that you had been asked to stay on.

Of course, we all agree this is a refreshing change from your predecessor, Captain Cool, who had to be dragged away from the job kicking and screaming. But, Sanath, what we were worried about was whether you would begin a national trend of resigning, when one failed to live up to expectations.

Can you imagine what a disaster that would be? Satellite would have had to resign because she failed to prevent the Blues from staying on in power and some would say even the Green Man would have had to resign because he failed to oust Satellite from power!

And just for a moment imagine what would happen to our extra large Cabinet? Tilak would have been gone the moment the Tigers violated the ceasefire, Choksy would have had to resign because he is yet to deliver the promised pay hike and Ravi and MM would be history because they haven't been able to reduce the cost of living.

And of course, Karu would have had to go with the first power cut and the other Karu would have resigned when they killed that undergraduate after ragging him. Poor Daya would have lost his job with the first Dengue epidemic and young Imtiaz would have resigned too because he is unable to stop the propaganda surrounding the government.

Then, even on the other side, the Southerner would have had to leave because he couldn't prevent the Alliance with the Reds and of course if ever there was a policy of resigning for not living up to expectations, the Crown Prince would have retired from politics a long, long time ago.

And Rauff would have been gone because he does not command the confidence of his brethren and his Northern counterparts would also have resigned because they are being forced to do what the Tigers ask them to do.

Then, Sanath, even Velu would have had to resign because he has more or less given up his claim for a separate state. As for our own Service Chiefs on this side of the war, they too would have resigned in shame the day they saluted a lady Police Constable at the rehearsal for Independence Day!

So, Sanath, I hope you now realise the seriousness of what you have done. Of course, there are a quite a few people who believe that your resignation is timely and that the country could do with a new Captain but that, I feel, is a separate issue.

Being the modest man from Matara that you are, we do appreciate your gesture and all that you have done for the country in cricket. But, Sanath, please make sure that you don't begin a national policy of resigning when the job is not done!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha.
PS- The last time someone tendered a resignation and it was not accepted was when the General offered to resign when the Dalada Maligawa was bombed. Now, Sanath, whatever you do, I hope you don't follow the footsteps of the General!

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