Shame, it is to
call mamma's boy Warne a cheat
I thought I must write to you when I heard you had been
sent home from the World Cup in South Africa after they found you
had taken a drug that you weren't supposed to take.
be a lot of people who would say that this is hardly surprising,
but what intrigued me was your excuse- you took that pill because
your mother wanted you to and you being dear Mama's boy, did just
we have heard quite a few explanations of the 'dog ate my homework'
type but this must rank as one of the best. In fact, we have quite
a few of our own, like Satellite saying that the Green Man pointed
a gun at her head and threatened to kill her, but yours still ranks
among the best.
Shane, you must pardon the average Sri Lankan if he is less than
sympathetic about what fate awaits you. We remember you as someone
who said you were afraid to come to Colombo because you thought
bombs might explode when you went shopping!
And then of
course we have this running battle with your media and your umpires
whenever Murali tours your country where even the crowds have now
joined in calling him a chucker whenever he runs up to bowl. How
would you like it Shane, if crowds called you a cheater every time
you ran up to bowl?
are the countless ex-umpires, former cricketers and commentators
in your country who every now and then say that Murali throws and
that therefore he should be banned from the game. So far, Shane,
I have yet to hear any of them come forward to say that you too
should be banned from the game. I wonder why?
Here in Sri
Lanka, Shane, we would call it 'karume'. After all, isn't it ironical
that a country which launched a well organised campaign to get rid
of the game's best spinner by calling him a cheat, now faces the
prospect of losing their own best bowler who has been found to be
And that brings
us to an interesting situation, Shane. The cricket world is watching
how your authorities would deal with this situation. As Captain
Cool has correctly pointed out, if this happened to an Asian, there
would have been a thousand experts calling for him to be banned
from the game. But already, what we are hearing are reasons why
you will not be banned. Indeed, everyone seems to be studying how
you could get off with the slightest penalty and even return to
play in the World Cup!
But then, Shane,
that is hardly surprising, isn't it? After all, yours is a country
where convicts are always given a second chance!
PS- But Shane,
if you ever need some assistance to get out of this mess, I can
suggest someone who knows all about 'B' samples and taking tablets
without knowing what's in them and I'm sure she will be happy to
help you. And, as I'm sure she will tell you, a better way still
to appear innocent is to allege that you are the victim of a conspiracy
of a government minister. Think about that too, will you?