Mirror Magazine

 

Sealed with a kiss

Kissy facts

  • The world record for the longest kiss is 30 hours and 45 minutes, between Dror Orpas and Karmit Tsubera in 1999.
  • According to one old wives' tale, you can ward off a cold by kissing the nose of a mouse.
  • Remember your first time? According to researchers at Butler University, Indiana, couples recall up to 90 per cent of the details of their first kiss.
  • When his wife discovered him kissing a showgirl, Groucho Marx explained: 'Kissing her? I was whispering in her mouth.'
  • According to legend, the spy Mata Hari blew a kiss to her executioners just before they shot her.
  • Danish philologist Christopher Nyrop, author of the 1901 book, The Kiss and its History, believed that women preferred to kiss bearded men, influenced, perhaps, by the local proverb that 'kissing a fellow without a quid of tobacco and a beard is like kissing a clay wall.'
    - Asia Features

By Leyla Swan
'You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss,' wrote Herman Hupfeld in As Time Goes By, the melancholy song made famous by the movie Casablanca, and adored by lovers everywhere.

Hupfeld was neither the first nor the last writer to contemplate the power of the kiss. Indeed, wherever there is literature, there are odes to the kiss.

'Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth,' wrote the author of the Song of Solomon, 'for thy love is better than wine.'

'Kisses are a better fate than wisdom,' suggested the poet Cummings, while Henry Finck described them as 'the very autograph of love' and Jonathan Swift rued the 'fool it was that first invented kissing'.

The act of touching lips has been observed and documented ever since the ancient Romans noted that there were at least three motivations for kisses - friendship (oscula), love (basia) and passion (suavia) - while the Talmudic rabbis described kisses of greeting, farewells, and respect.

In evolutionary terms, the kiss may have its roots in both the relationship between mother and child 'weaning babies with chewed food' and the need upon meeting to identify or 'sniff out' friends from foes. Indeed, even chimpanzees have been observed embracing and touching mouths after a separation. As a gesture borne out of nurturing and life, the kiss continues to resonate everywhere from advertising to the fairytale of Sleeping Beauty, who is awakened from her slumber by the touch of a prince's lips.

A kiss certainly connotes intimacy, cementing either the bonds of family, friendship or the passion of romantic love. 'At what else does that touching of lips aim but at a junction of souls?' wrote philosopher Favorinus of Arles.

But, for all its emotional and symbolic significance, the kiss is not always welcome. As a public gesture of greeting, kisses became so common in ancient Rome that the Emperor Tiberius (42BC-37AD) issued an edict against them.

Earlier, Cato had punished a senator named Manilius for kissing his own wife in front of his daughter in public. His disapproval of such blatant gobsmacking was so famous that when Nyrop witnessed a young woman kissing her fiance at a party, he wrote that 'Cato would certainly turn in his grave if he knew that such immodest behaviour was actually tolerated by people of refinement and position.'

Tiberius and Cato were not alone in their disdain for the act. 'Every neighbour, every hairy-faced farmer, presses on you with a strongly scented kiss,' complained another Roman. 'Here the weaver assails you, there the fuller and cobbler, who has just been kissing leather; here the owner of a filthy beard, and a one-eyed gentleman; there one with bleared eyes, and fellows whose mouths are defiled with all manner of abominations.'

By the Middle Ages, it had become such common practice to greet friends and strangers alike with a kiss, that Montaigne lamented that men 'have to kiss 50 ugly women to three pretty ones'. In England, Erasmus too observed that the country was awash with kisses and that even washer girls at inns farewelled departing travellers with a kiss.

The bad-tempered Romans may have banned what they called 'crimen osculationis' or the crime of public kissing, but it did not deter a 19th-century Naples man, who was forbidden to come within 30 miles of the place where he had kissed a woman in the street. Nor did it prevent Englishman Thomas Saverland from trying to kiss Caroline Newton in 1837. The unwilling Newton promptly bit off part of his nose. When Saverland sued her for damages, Newton stood her ground once more and the judge ruled in her favour, observing that, 'when a man kisses a woman against her will, she is fully entitled to bite his nose, if she so pleases'.

Women were not the only ones vulnerable to unwanted kisses. In 1855, Nathaniel Hawthorne was scathing about the Christmas tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. 'The maids of the house did their utmost to entrap the gentlemen boarders,' he wrote of his stay at a Liverpool guest house, 'old and young, under these privileged places, and there to kiss them, after which they were expected to pay a shilling.'

Unwelcome kisses still can and do make headlines. In 1983, Robin Blencoe, then a cabinet minister in British Columbia, Canada, was removed from cabinet and caucus after he kissed a colleague. He apologised and said the gesture was not meant to be sexual, but the case rolled on for six more years and cost Blencoe his job, tens of thousands of dollars in legal costs, and his reputation.

Six years later, Moorhead State University in Minnesota banned mistletoe because of claims that it encouraged sexual harassment, and in 1996, a six-year-old North Carolina boy was suspended from school for kissing a reluctant classmate.

At first, school officials said the boy had broken written rules against sexual harassment. Later, they softened their response, stating that the boy had only violated a 'general school rule, which prohibits unwarranted and unwelcome touching of one student by another.'

By then, the case was already being reported in the international media and the boy's parents had received an offer of US100,000 dollars for the movie rights to their story.

For all that, the kiss is far from universal and in many parts of Asia, the Pacific and Africa, mouth kissing in public is rare. Indeed, in 1897, the French anthropologist, Paul d'Enjoy observed that the Chinese frowned upon this Western habit as a horrendous and almost cannibalistic act.

'Sniff-kissing, or nose-rubbing, is common in many cultures, and signifies an intermingling of two people's breath or spirit, the equivalent to life itself,' observes science writer Daniel McNeil, author of The Face. 'Maori greet strangers by touching noses softly, twice. It brings two faces within a tight circle and establishes a closer bond than a handshake.'

Can a kiss still be a kiss, even if the lips are not involved? If Herman Hupfeld's famous lyric is anything to go by, perhaps so. After all: 'It's still the same old story; a fight for love and glory; a case of do or die. The world will always welcome lovers; as time goes by.'


Do you stay and fight or cut and run?
1. You have taken an item of clothing back to a shop because it is faulty, but the assistant refuses to change it, saying you must have damaged it. Do you
(a) Refuse to leave until you get a replacement, even if it means causing a scene and demanding to see the manager
(b) Give up after a while and leave, vowing never to shop there again
(c) Accept the assistant's point of view and feel embarrassed for having taken it back in the first place

2. Your boss suggests you have made a mistake. Do you
(a) Ask them to explain exactly what it is they think you have done
(b) Deny it at once
(c) Apologize

3. You are cooking for an important dinner party and realize that you have not bought a vital ingredient. Do you
(a) Try and substitute something similar
(b) Throw it out and settle for something out of the freezer
(c) Invent a wonderful new recipe with a few original ingredients

4. Your coach driver announces that he is lost and that you will arrive at your destination late. Do you
(a) Stare resolutely out of the window and hope someone else speaks up
(b) Ask him if he has a map, and then give him directions
(c) Think you might write a letter of complaint to the coach company

5. You are all that stands between a runaway horse and a busy road. Do you
(a) Leap in its path and try to catch it as it gallops past
(b) Get out of the way as quickly as you can
(c) Wave your arms and shout in the hope it might change direction

6. A friend asks you to go on an adventure weekend. Do you
(a) Accept at once - you can probably teach the instructor a thing or two
(b) Find out what it entails before you decide whether or not to go
(c) Plead a prior engagement and decline the invitation

7. A mugger attacks you in the street and tries to steal your bag. Do you
(a) Hand it over at once
(b) Knockhim to the floor and restrain him until the police arrive
(c) Put up a bit of a struggle, but don't put yourself at risk

8. A dinner party conversation is turning into a very unpleasant argument. Do you
(a) Give up your argument for the sake of the hostess
(b) Demolish the other person's argument even if it means the dinner party breaks up on a very sour note
(c) Use your skill and humour to defuse the situation and turn the conversation to a more agreeable subject

9. You wake up with a bad headache. Do you
(a) Ring your boss to say you are ill
(b) Take some painkillers and carry on as usual
(c) Start the day gently and see how you feel in an hour's time before making a decision about going to work

10. Your plane is in trouble and the pilot needs your help. Do you
(a) Jump into the co-pilot's seat immediately and await instructions
(b) Ask where the parachutes are
(c) Tell the pilot to move over, you'll handle it from here

Now check your score:
a b c
1. 10 5 0
2. 5 10 0
3. 5 0 10
4. 0 10 5
5. 10 0 5
6. 10 5 0
7. 0 10 5
8. 0 10 5
9. 0 10 5
10. 5 0 10

0-25: Cut and run. You don't like taking a stand even when you know you are in the right. It may seem like the easy option, but it often leaves you looking - and feeling - like a doormat for everyone to walk over. Look through the quiz again, and see how you would feel if you took the middle way.

30-75: Half and half. You know when to stand and when to run. Don't change.

80-100: Stand and fight. It might seem the best option, but if you look back over the questions, you will see that making a stand can sometimes makes you seem heavy-handed and could even be dangerous. You'll also look very silly if you jump in with both feet and can't follow through.


Clothes Line

Shadow
A fleeting glimpse I caught of thee,
I see you are not what you used to be.
You've grown thinner, so have I,
But then we were always so alike.
To be honest you look like a stick!
If you don't gain some fat you'll end up sick.
I see your teeth still stick out;
I know it doesn't go back how hard you push somehow.
And your nose, Oh! It's gone even crooked still,
Don't worry, I know exactly how you feel.
Didn't you straighten, perm, colour or crimp your hair?
No? Well I didn't either but I don't really care.
But you should do something about those hips and waist,
They're all the wrong sizes! And your abs are so out of shape.
Why? Because otherwise you'll feel left out,
Of all these things they praise and tout,
In what we call the 'modern world',
Trust me shadow, it's tough these days to be a girl.
- Tanya Rajapakse

Your country needs you
The exodus of intelligent people from the country can be disadvantageous. This mainly has a pernicious impact on a developing country. Our country lacks skilled personnel to accelerate the current development process. For this reason we are still unable to attain this crucial objective.

The government spends billions of rupees to aid the educational system of the country as a long-term investment. But some people when they have accomplished their goals they tire of this country and abruptly leave. They declare that the wages are inappropriate and they prefer foreign employment. I'm not stating that this is wrong; of course they are completely eligible to migrate to any country they prefer.

But if you are thinking of abandoning your country, consider this - first think about your decision, and then ask yourself if you are betraying your motherland. Is this the way repay your mother who assisted you to achieve the position you are in presently? If you decide to alter your decision consider yourself a patriot.
- Gayan Wijewickrama Galle


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