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Parliamentary Sketch - By Rajpal Abeynayake

Why Choksy will never clap a coffee tax
Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but G. L. Peiris probably did not want to be flattered when Kabir Hashim UNF Minister spoke during the budget debate.
Instead he was seen fleeing the house. Imitation can be the most acute form of embarrassment, even for those who bask in flattery. Hashim definitely is consciously or sub- consciously imitating Minister Peiris, and why he would want to do any such thing is a good question - but one needs to ask that from Mr Hashim of course. "In this count-reee'' he says, dragging the last syllable just like G.L. "The Prime Minis-terrrr'' he says doing it again, in that typical G. L. didactic mode. "Three thou-suuuunddd'' he says, and once again that G. L trademark hanging-onto-the-last-syllable delivery.

Hasheem also takes his glasses on and off for good measure, and seems to throw a challenge to all listeners : '…who says anything G. L. can do, I can't do better?''

But G. L. at least is quirky enough to be imitated. But, take ('he would not invite a sneer being called an intellectual') Sarath Amunugama for instance. His performance at the budget debate, shortly after Hasheem, was so totally colorless that you could say he was inimitably insipid. He did say a lot about a 'lacklustre budget' - but exactly why does a lacklustre budget have to beget an absolutely lacklustre speech which seemed to send everyone to sleep - including Amunugama himself? If Amunugama didn't do anything to damage Mr. Choksy's budget in its immediate aftermath - he really didn't achieve much for either himself or for the opposition.

But yet he can feel ecstatically happy about one thing. Which is that that those who want to imitate intellectuals, like Kabir Hasheem, will never try to imitate him, ever. Even the most earnest intellectual-on-the-make won't find anything that Amunugama said or did, that's even faintly interesting to even try to imitate. Just imagine? Amunugama is rid of impersonation by Hasheem, for all time.

Towards the end of his delivery, Amunugama probably saw the TULF's dear Mr Sambandan almost supine in his seat, totally and blissfully in the land of the nod - perhaps dreaming sweet dreams about the coming promised land. At this point, it seemed Amunugama wanted to bait someone into heckling him, if not to wake Sambandan, at least to create enough commotion to prevent himself and a lot of others falling totally asleep.

So he turned to Azwer 'my very good friend Mr Azwer,'' and said something about 'your government having a bird in one hand…..'' Even the ever-obliging Azwer had to be in a stupor by now. Amunugama had to prod him on. My ''very very good friend Azwer,''. (Oh come on Mr Azwer, please please please please?)

Azwer ever the gentleman, and in his holy Month mode, will not turn down this kind of entreaty, so he did spring to his feet - but seems to have had no idea where Mr Amunugama's argument - like Mr Amunugama - was going, left right or center? Finally, he looked at the JVP benches and tried lamely: 'the whole problem with you is the birds have all flown. This is the whole problem.''

All Amunugama could muster was 'be serious Mr Azwer.''

Be serious, Mr Amunugama.

Budget debates may have acquired a certain going-through-the-paces quality about them, but isn't there any way the Minister of Finance could budget the budget debate? Contrive to prune down time allocated by half, by law, and perhaps the parliament canteen will save a fortune on coffee meant to keep MPs and parliamentary sketch writers awake?

(Note: Last week's POLITICAL SKETCH 'Moragoda the magnificent - he means it', was by the same writer.)

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