15th April 2001
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Children are people too
To Parents It is said that "a child's future is shaped in his parent's childhood". At a glance this may not even make sense to some, but careful thought will reveal how true it is. Most parents will want their children to do well, in their lives. Sometimes they even get them to pursue the dreams that they never could follow themselves. But remember dear mother and father the child is a separate individual, who develops acquiring and developing his/her own tastes, styles and dreams that they want to follow some day. These are the things that make his/her life interesting and pleasurable to him/her. I know that there's a big competition going on in the wild world out there, so you want your child to do his/her best. All those tuition classes and now even pre-schools and computer courses for children who haven't even learnt to walk without help. Well there's nothing wrong in training the kids right from the beginning to face competition. After all Darwin said " the fittest will survive" (but competition kills too -maybe he forgot that part.) Anyway what's important is that you don't forget to teach them how to enjoy and pursue the small things in life such as the sea breeze, the sunset, sounds of birds, the beauty of small things in life, how to love and also to receive love. Or else someday he or she may grow up with a whole lot of qualifications in hand - but with a perpetual void within, leaving them feeling incomplete and unsatistfied. Just think about it please…. Just another kidIs there a thing called true love?
Icertainly do think that this column is serving its purpose. And also that the articles on the March 4th issue were very interesting. I thought of writing about something that has been on my mind for a couple of years. I'm a 19-year-old girl doing my A/Ls this year. As I've heard and experienced, this is a very tricky age. Love, boy friends, relationships, your future, family, etc. they all appear in a different light and matter much more than they've ever done before. During these past few years I've had boys making various requests (to start an affair with them , is what I mean ) - of course I refuse because I want to concentrate on my studies. Actually that is only part of the reason, as to why I refused. The other reason is that I believe in true love, trust and care. But, in this day and age that is like finding a needle in a haystack. Some might think I'm being silly, and sometimes I do too. A guy once asked me 'how would you know that you've found true love, unless you venture into a relationship and take a risk ?' That got me thinking, after all every thing in life requires some extent of risk taking. But, then again, I don't want to get into a relationship just because all the people I know have and because I have nothing better to do. I hate lying to people, I feel very uncomfortable doing it. So I tend to be very cautious when communicating and being friends with a guy. This attitude of mine leaves me feeling very lonely sometimes. In short, when I'm in a relationship and when I say I love you, I want to mean it. And I want to be sure that the other person means it too. So, it still leaves me wondering, is there really something called true love and am I sane in believing in it ? Or is it just fiction?. Cassie I feel dead inside Have any of you woken up one morning to a place you've never actually known, to a place where there are people you've lived with all your life, but then their not whom they were suppose to be. Let me tell you it's a depressing feeling. I'm sure by now you are wondering, what I'm trying to say, right? Well what I'm trying to tell you, is how a person who has been adopted feels when he/she finally finds out the truth. To realise the people you've been calling mom and dad are not your biological parents and the relations you have are not really your relations. Worst of all to know that your parents (the one's who adopted you) have lied to you all your life. Especially when you find out the truth by other means and not through them. Have you any idea of how that feels? Especially to start thinking why your real parents didn't want you - trust me people - it feels really bad. So let me say one thing to all the people out there. Don't ever bring a child into this world if you can't keep him/her with you. Don't let him/her out into this cruel world all alone without your love. Because when they find out the truth in the end - it kills them. And to those parents who have been kind enough to give a home and also their love to an orphan, please tell him/her the truth. For even if they are orphans and you've done them a big favour by taking them into your home, they still have the right to know the truth. Think about it when you are free. Adopted A reader replies: In the same boat To 'Just 20 and really mad' You are my kind of gal, I am going to turn 20 this month and I have a feeling I got trapped in the same snare a bit earlier. My friends are all serious. Having fun is out of their syllabus. I think they were born to be good housewives. I'd love to have some fun too like you. To roam around the world with some frivolous souls. Talk of adventure...! I haven't met the guy of my dreams either. I'm prepared for true love as well. But who wants to marry just now. Hope you'll get what you are looking for 'Just turned 20 and mad', 'cause I'm definitely hoping to get what I want before I tie the knot. - Iced flameYou are…..
You are a glittering star that I can see in the night sky.... but, I can never approach... You are a chilly wind that I can feel throughout the lonely winter, but, I can never touch.... You are a deep feeling that I can keep inside my heart, but, I can never achieve... You are a wonderful person that I can love with my whole heart, but, I can never possess..... Namalie Wijewardene A reader replies:Thank God I'm dark!
To Born 'dark'…. I'm with you Shaami & Kay Jay. Let me tell you my experience. My parents wanted to propose me to a Doctor who was ' FAIR.' The proposal didn't work out because I was ' dark'. After a few months I was proposed to another doctor who was of medium colour (a man who was very loving, caring etc.) and I was married to him. Coincidently my husband happened to get a transfer to the 'FAIR' doctor's home town. There I learnt that this "FAIR' doctor was swollen headed and thought a lot of himself but his medical treatment was not satisfactory. Believe it or not most of his relations and friends come to my husband for treatment. Thanks be to God for making me dark to escape from these swollen- heads. Taaro Comment, criticism, praise or food for thought - here's an invitation to hang the laundry of your thoughts on the 'Clothes Line'. Send in your entries of not more than 350 words to: Clothes Line C/o The Sunday Times No. 8, Hunupitiya Cros Road, Colombo 2. Email: Clothesline-lk@yahoo.comIt's Avurudu time
By Norm(an) de Plume
For me, April is synonymous with one thing-no, not fool's day, but Aluth Avurudda. There's really nothing comparable to it -the customs, the symbolism, the food and that all-encompassing feeling of festivity (did I mention the food?). I'm looking forward to visiting friends, relatives, old teachers etc. this year, since I'm now away from home. It should be quite a pleasant experience, if they don't harp too much on the fact that I've become fat, dark and the sort.Fun and games are aplenty this time of the year. My favourite is the 'Kotta Pora' - isn't the whole concept of having a go at someone with a pillow in public and not having to justify it just brilliant? Of course, it's much more fun when your opponent has been on a 'liquid diet' and is trying to balance on the narrow pole. If you're the compassionate sort and don't feel like bashing him, just let him take a swing, miss and let gravity take its toll. You can even win prizes for things that in normal life you probably wouldn't be too proud of, for example the biggest belly and the baldest head. I see myself as the future champion very soon-in both events.
The auspicious time and other customs lend so much symbolism to the whole event. Every year, my father and I have the same conversation on how things have changed in significance, the scientific reasoning behind some of these customs etc., but its no less fascinating than last year's. Speaking of customs a particular new one seems to be gaining strength these days, and I've yet to figure out what its connection with the New Year is. Yes I'm talking about the Hindi films they've been showing on T.V. - and according to the trailers, we'll be seeing this year as well.
A slight problem encountered during this season is the food. Sure, there are all the goodies, and since my many aunts have formed the happy habit of specialising in one sweetmeat or the other, I'm assured of quality as well as quantity. It's the regular meals that pose a problem. The 'help' is, of course, on holiday, and despite the fact that my mother is a fantastic cook, her dhal curry is not quite perfect. And since dhal is the most important dish as far as I'm concerned, it becomes the only blemish in the season.
But above all, Avurudu is a wake-up call of sorts for me, as I know it is for most people. The lives we lead are so busy and complicated that we hardly have the time to recognise and celebrate who we are - and to me that's exactly what the whole concept of Avurudu is about.
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