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18th March 2001
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Small Talk

'Inviting' time

By Nedra Wickremasinghe
Good manners are all about courtesy, respecting others and putting others at ease. So are you particular about the impression you make on others? If you have any questions on etiquette write into Small Talk and Nedra Wickremasinghe, Director of Nedisa Social Skills Training Institute will answer all your queries.

All your letters should be addressed to: 

'Small Talk'
C/o The Sunday Times|
8, Hunupitiya Cross Road
Colombo 2.

An invitation sets the tone for an occasion. It also gives a hint of what the party you are planning will be like. Invitations with special and unusual themes can cause a flurry of excitement among your would- be guests who will await the party in much anticipation.

Most invitations are hand delivered. For a formal function invitations are sent out two or three weeks prior to the event. Two weeks to 10 days notice is sufficient for a private party.

Invitations come in all shapes and sizes these days and you need not necessarily keep to the standard 4"X6 3/4" measurement. Interestingly, illustrated note cards can also double as invitations to dinners and tea and can be given a personal touch by writing on it with gold or silver calligraphy pen.

Question: When I am invited to a function, is it rude to ask whether I can bring my partner along? Would it be imposing on the host?

Answer: Before asking find out whether it is a celebration like a birthday or an anniversary.

If it is going to be a sit-down dinner and you have been given a specific time to arrive, or if the dinner is going to be hosted at a restaurant after drinks at the host's residence, then it is best you don't impose and that you refrain from asking to bring along a guest. Asking to bring a guest may only embarrass and force the host to accede to your request!

Question: For what type of function can I take my friend along?

Answer: Before you take your friend or partner to a function that only you have been invited to, it is only courteous that you ask the host first. If the occasion is going to be a fun party, open-house affair or a noisy one with D.J. and music, I'm sure your friends wouldn't mind having the extra guest.

Question: Are e-mail invitations impersonal? What is the correct etiquette on sending e-mail invitations?

Answer: In this digital age, on-line invitations are fast becoming popular. Called e-vites or e-mail invitations, these on-line invitations are now an accepted form of extending probably last minute invitations to casual and informal affairs, like hurriedly scheduled meetings over drinks, which are sometimes followed by dinner. E-vites are ideal, to schedule casual appointments with business associates when travelling overseas on short notice.

Question: Can you suggest how I should go about on-line invitations? And how best I can use them?

Answer: Log-on to "Yahoo! Invites" and find out how best you can create your very own pe- rsonalized invitations from inserting your own pictures to including details of the function. It also offers special features like keeping track of RSVPs and giving updates on who has accepted and declined your invitations. You can not only create and send dinner party invitations and business announcements, but also invitations for special events like house-warmings, anniversary celebrations and reunions as well as invitations for club activities such as fund-raisers and charity events.

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