25th February 2001

Importance of being Blair

5th Column

I thought I must write to you when I heard that Her Majesty's government decided after all not to announce the terrorist groups that will be banned in Britain. Of course, Tony, everyone over here expected the Tigers to be banned and they will now be shouting slogans against you.

But I fully agree with your decision, Tony. Why should you stick your neck out and become Target No. 2? (Somebody else, of course is Target No. 1!). Rajiv Gandhi did that and look what happened to him?

Besides, why should you, of all people ban an organisation when the government in Colombo is trying its best to have peace talks with that organisation, with Norwegians running around here in Colombo, there in the Wanni and everywhere else including London and Oslo?

And why should you ban the Tigers when even the major opposition party over here is too shy to call for such a ban, probably fearing for their lives or thinking about the next election? So, you decide to play it safe and do not announce any ban on anyone.

Velu and Bala will no doubt be happy with your decision. But I wonder whether they will suddenly decide to call off their ceasefire which they so graciously extended in January without anyone ever asking them to. Now, Britain has officially declared them a humanitarian organisation, so why should they bother about ceasefires?

Anyway Tony, you had also better be careful about Kadi. He did say that not banning the Tigers would amount to an 'unfriendly act'. I wonder what he will do now- recall our man in London or send Linda home? Remember how Gladstone was sent packing for the crime of visiting a polling booth and then commenting on democracy at work- Sri Lankan style?

But they say Tony, the truth was that you couldn't afford to ban the Tigers because you needed the votes of their sympathisers at the next election. Now, if that's what it really is I'm disappointed with you and I'll tell you why.

You could have gone ahead and banned the Tigers and then our chaps could have officially provided you with assistance for the next election. Why, Seeni Bola could have easily organised a cultural exchange programme for the Samurdhi Niyaamakas over there and the General could have arranged some military training for our soldiers to co-incide with your election and you would have won the poll without a doubt!

Anyway Tony, we are still a friendly nation and I'm sure Satellite will oblige if you need any assistance in that regard. After all, that conservative party chap- Hague, isn't he?- is a pal of Ranil and that is enough reason for her to do everything possible to ensure your victory.

But of course, if you ever decide to proscribe the IRA please tell them that they need not worry- there will always be room for them to have their headquarters here in Colombo. Who knows, the Sihala Urumaya might even sponsor them!

It's a pity, Tony that you couldn't join your cricketers for a bit of fun here. But do tell them not to complain about the umpiring if they lose- we don't cheat in cricket as much as we do when we choose our governments!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha.

PS: By the way, what would you do with all those millions of signatures that came to your doorstep asking that the Tigers be banned? I guess No.10, Downing Street will not be making any purchases of toilet paper in the near future!

The Jungle Telegraph

Editorial/ Opinion Contents