JOKES

Facts and Figures

A group of friends were discussing the topic on how books affected the confinements of their wives.

"Before my wife could complete reading "Two Fishermen" she gave birth to twins," said the first guy.

Another said, "It's strange. My wife gave birth to triplets as soon as she completed reading 'The Three Musketeers.'

At this point one of the men suddenly quit the scene and was seen running away hurriedly.

Through curiosity, a friend phoned him later that night to know why he had rushed so suddenly.

"I had no time to explain. I had to rush home to stop my wife reading the book," he said apologetically.

"What was she reading?"

"Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves."

Milking Machine

A farmer ordered a high tech milking machine. The equipment arrived when he was suffering from a running nose. So, he decided to test it on himself first. He fixed the equipment to his nose and turned the switch on and every thing was automatic.

He was really relieved as the equipment cleared his nose. When it was over he could not take the instrument off. He read the manual, tried every button on the instrument, but without success. Panicking, he called the suppliers customer service hot line. "Hello I just bought a milking machine. But how can I take it off from the cows udder?"

"Dont worry, the machine is programmed such that it will release automatically after collecting 2 litres of milk," was the reply.

Dying Husband

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his check up, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband in suffering from a severe disease combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die - each morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, make sure he is in a good mood. Make him a nutritious meal for lunch. A nice meal for dinner. Don't discuss your problem with him, it will only make his stress worse. Most importantly give him more love and satisfy his every whim. If you do this for 10 months, your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "what did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.

Thinking Ways

The teacher picked little Johnny to answer a question "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None", replied Johnny "because the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four, but I like the way you are thinking," said the teacher.

May I ask you a question little Johnny said, "If there were three women in a restuarant, one drinking milk, the second licking a cone and the third eating sandwiches, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously " I guess the one licking a cone".

"No," said little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger , but I like the way you are thinking?"

Why is light hair more fragile than dark hair?

Sunlight damages hair just as it does skin; just as light skin is more easily sun damaged than dark skin, so light hair is more easily damaged than dark hair. Sunlight changes hair fibres chemically, much as bleaching does, and the end result is a breakdown in the hair's sulphur bonds so that the hair becomes fragile.

Can hair conditioners repair damaged hair?

Only temporarily. Nothing can permanantly repair the hair strand once it is damaged. Most conditioners coat the outer layer of the hair strand, which is composed of overlapping cells that look like the scales on a fish. Conditioners make these scales lie flat and allow light to reflect better, making the hair look shiny. They also fill in the porous spots. The only way to get rid of the damage is to cut off the damaged sections of hair.

Can you get rid of oily hair by changing your diet?

Diet has no bearing on how oily your hair is. You are born with a predisposition for oily hair.

Win super prizes from the Neutrogena range, by filling in the coupon and mailing it to reach us on or before March 27th, on a postcard to:

Neutrogena Quiz
C/o Mirror Magazine
P.O. Box 1136
Colombo

Winners are kindly requested to collect their prize from: The Neutrogena Shop

Crescat Shopping Complex,
75,Galle Rd,
Colombo 3

They are requested to first telephone 075 522238 before calling over at the office.

Enter this exciting photographic contest

Footprints for the future

Are you fascinated by nature? Do you love seeing animals and birds in the wild? Do you enjoy clicking away with your camera as you try to capture these special moments on film? Well this maybe your chance. 'Footprints for the future' an animal photographic exhibition organised by the Sri Lanka Veterinary Association with the veterinary students of Peradeniya University seeks to encourage young people to appreciate nature .

The contest is open to those under 16 years and under 21, with entries being judged in these two categories. Entries could be in black and white or colour and should be of pets/domestic animals or wildlife. The exhibition of winning and commen-ded entries will be at the Trinity College Hall, Kandy. The closing date for entries is March 20, 2000 and entry forms could be obtained by writing in to:

The Co-ordinator,
Photographic Competition,
Faculty of Veterinary Medicine,
University of Peradeniya,
Peradeniya.

The contest is being sponsored by Kodak and attractive prizes will be on offer.

Nilakshi, shines all the way!

In October last year the Director General of UNESCO appointed Nillakshi Parndigmage of Sri Lanka as a Member to the Youth Council of UNESCO, an external UNESCO Ad- visory Body comprising 30 members. 75% Members are below the age of 30. The mission of the Youth Council is to identify creative visions and constructive means to enhance UNESCO's attention and responses to youth needs and, not least, to encourge Member State to act similarly. The bulk of the Council work would take place through electronic means.

The first meeting for the whole group of the Youth Council was held in Adelaide, Australia from 8-10 March. Nilakshi attended this Council Meeting at the invitation of UNESCO.

Nilakshi is an 18-year-old student of Visakha Vidyalaya, Colombo and has previously attended the World Heritage Youth Forum in Beijing in 1997, the World Youth Roundtable on Youth in Paris also in 1997 and Youth Forum on Cuntural Policies and Development in Sweden in March 1998.

Wei Wei in concert at the Hilton

Talented singer, dancer, vocalist and actress Wei Wei is scheduled to visit Sri Lanka this month with her American-born husband, composer and pianist Michael J Smith.

Wei Wei who has sold 108 million records in China and is regarded as the most popular and successful pop recording artistes in Chinese and Asian history, has starred in concerts all over the world. She has performed alongside internationally renowned stars like Julio Iglesias and China's number one pop star, Liu Huan as well as other prominent stars.

Wei Wei is renowned for her best-selling song "Our Asia", which is considered by many to be the national anthem of the Asian world. "Our Asia", was written for the 11th Asian Games held in Beijing in 1990. Since then she has been the star performer at the opening and the closing ceremonies of each of the Asian Games the most recent being held in Hiroshima, Japan, in October 1994. Wei Wei also had a very successful concert in Atlanta at the 1995 Olympics before 65,000 fans.

Michael J. Smith, Wei Wei's husband premiEred and performed his new compositions at the 100th Olympic Games in Atlanta with his wife. "I have put my career on hold to bring my wife to the limelight," says Smith, who has written for the Moscow Philharmonic and various European ensembles.

Catch this talented duo when they take centrestage at the Hilton Colombo to perform at the next Lady Hilton function on March 29 at the Grand Ballroom.

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They came in their numbers to witness the 121st Battle of the Blues. THe young and the old clad in the colours of their Alma Mater, some wearing casuals, some with painted faces and others with their respective college flags. Pix by Dunstan Wickremaratne

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